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By Christine Cashen
I had high hopes for my pandemic lockdown. But what I’m finding is regardless of whether I’ve accomplished ANYTHING, I flop into bed exhausted. How about you? Yes, stress does that to us! I’m a motivational speaker and as you might guess, not doing a whole lot of speaking. So, I’m trying to drink my own Kool-Aid and make the most of this unusual time. It has taken me a few months to get my feet planted right, but I found some strategies that can bring light where you may be feeling some darkness — energy gainers, instead of energy drainers. I call it the 4H Club. No, not the wonderful youth-based organization where you show your hogs. Instead, this is a tool to help you remember the four pieces that can give you peace: HEALTH, HOME, HEAD, and HEART. Let’s get started... HEALTH: PUT ON PANTS Many of us are struggling to stay on the health bus right now. There is the occasional over achiever on social media showing off their new buff body, but for the rest of us, this pandemic is becoming a poundemic! Instead of going full out, just do something small for your health every day. Take your vitamins. Go for a long walk. Meditate. Try to not drink alcohol EVERY night. In the beginning, I had my head in a bag of M&M’s saying that I would deal with my health (and fitting into my clothes) when this is over. Do not do that. Do not wait. At least once a week, wear something other than yoga/sweatpants. Seriously, something with a zipper and less than 5% spandex. HOME: FIX IT ALREADY Yes, we all had that master plan for clean-up and organization when this all started. If you are like me, you discovered that TIME is not the enemy. DESIRE is! In the beginning, we started strong, but the desire for organization quickly took a backseat. To feel some accomplishment at the end of the day, do ONE tiny project. Tackle one junk drawer (doesn’t have to be big), file that pile of papers in your office, or better yet, recycle what you don’t need and will probably never look at again. Say goodbye to magazines that you have held onto for years, feeling guilty about not reading. Change the dang filter in your Brita water container. If you’re feeling bold, go for the furnace filter too! Start small… you will build momentum. You’ve got this. HEAD: BECOME HEADSTRONG There are so many classes online right now that are FREE or low cost. Instead of lamenting over the news, put your time and energy in learning something new! A friend is taking sign language, another is taking up yoga, and I was gifted the Masterclass series. Yup, just took a comedy class with Steve Martin. It was wonderful! If you have always wanted to learn about (fill in the blank), now is your chance. Don’t waste it! If you have ever uttered the phrase, “I wish I had extra time to do (fill in the blank)…”, now is the time. Get up and start your day with 30 minutes of learning something new. Your brain will thank you. HEART: THE GIFT IN THE LIFT What can you do to help others? Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Write cards to people to lift their spirits. I still love getting real snail mail! Leave a roll of toilet paper on a neighbor’s doorstep (after confirming it’s not going to rain and you have a square to spare). Make sure you are posting positive on social media. Do you know why John Krasinski’s Good News segments are getting so much attention? Not only are they good, they make you feel good while watching. As I have said before, there is a gift in the lift. If you are feeling down, the best way to feel better is to do something nice for someone else. ALL TOGETHER NOW Many people (myself included) are riding a coronacoaster of emotions these days and it is not easy to stay positive. As we emerge from this Twilight Zone, if you become a member of the 4H Club and do one thing (no matter how small), in each “H” category, I promise you that you will be more inspired and less damn tired. I promise. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success!
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By Christine Cashen
You don’t blow your nose in a cloth napkin. You don’t get in the express check out with 47 items. And everyone knows that if you’re in traffic, then someone lets you in at the last possible moment, the right thing to do is give a hardy thank you wave. So…let’s talk social media. Call them manners, call them social norms, call them social media manners but one thing is for sure, social would be a lot more social if everyone followed the “rules.” IT’S ALL RELATIVE Recently, Aunt Vicki (whose name has been changed to protect her identity) private messaged me. It began, “Be careful: I got a message from you or it is shown on your wall here. Please tell all the contacts in your messenger list not to accept a friend request from…” Then I got the same message from another relative, then another. Really? Which is it? Did everyone really get a message from me or was it on my wall? All of you? Impossible. I checked. Surprise! No one got a message from me. They assumed the message to be true and blindly shared it. Ugh. Have you ever gotten one of these messages? Did you freak out? Did you “Hold your finger down on the message and forward to all your friends,” as instructed? THEY TOLD TWO FRIENDS AND SO ON AND SO ON Yes, we need to be vigilant when using social media, but why create unnecessary panic? There is enough fake news out there that we don’t need to create our own! If a message tells you to “Hold your finger down,” or “This is REAL,” chances are it is not. Check with the person who sent that message and ask if they truly got a message from you. Or, let me save you some time…they didn’t. USE PROTECTION Do your best to safeguard your social media world. Go to settings, then privacy, then check who can see your friends list. Click “only me.” Then check that all your other preferences are set to private, not the default settings. If you don’t know how to do this, ask a kid. FACT CHECK Lately, there has been a lot of posts about missing children (which is really important), except that when fact-checked, the child had already been found — 2 days before the post. In the meantime, people are sharing and worrying unnecessarily when there is no longer a danger. Before you “Forward” or “Share,” take time and check your facts. It just takes a minute. Or if there is something that just doesn’t sound right, you can go to www.snopes.com to discover if what you’re planning to share is fact, fiction or both. Just taking a few moments will save others a lot of unnecessary strife and anxiety. TIME WISE Social is a wonderful tool – a giant time suck – but a wonderful tool nonetheless! If something truly needs to be shared to help someone, social media may be the best tool ever. Think kittens looking for a forever home, or a fundraiser for someone in need. But to make it even better, we all need to follow the rules. So, let’s all remember…use your turn signal…change the TP (over the top, of course) if you use the last few squares….and when it comes to social, keep it light, keep it fun and keep it real. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success! By Christine Cashen
Summer is wonderful…pool time…exotic vacations…beach reads…finally getting to that bucket list destination…creating wonderful memories with family and friends…. CUE THE SCREECHING BRAKES! Maybe this summer wonderland thing is NOT happening for you this year. For obvious reasons, you aren’t getting away. And without question, you’re bummed, disappointed, frustrated and hugely jealous. It makes perfect sense! If the only party you are invited to this summer is a pity party for one, or you just have a case of the summer blues, here are 4 things you can do to avoid experiencing a real summer bummer: 1. Find Your Betty. As a motivational speaker, I travel a lot and for the most part I LOVE IT. However, on a recent work trip, I was at the airport feeling huge pangs of jealousy watching everyone in the waiting area in flip flops and Hawaiian shirts. Clearly, they were flying for pleasure and I was clearly NOT. Bring in the PUP! A “Pets Unstressing Passengers” dog wandered into my space with her handler. She was wearing a vest that read, “Pet Me.” What?!? Unless you are allergic or late for a flight, how could you not stop to pet this sweet doggie? Her name was Betty Boop, she was a Boston Terrier, and she had her own business cards. I still didn’t get to the beach, but a few doggie kisses from Betty changed my whole attitude. Seek out something to make you smile, it may be right in front of you. 2. Dial for Smiles Don’t text. Don’t email. Don’t text to see if you can call. Just pick up the phone and call. Think…who is special to you that you haven’t talked to in a while? Old roommate? Nephew? A friend of your parents? Your parents! How about someone who inspired you? Seriously. As a society, we’re getting more isolated and taking more anti-depressants. Reach out and say hello. It doesn’t have to be a long call, just long enough to let someone know you are thinking about them. Human connections are critical to our well-being. If you consciously work toward making these connections, it will enhance your life. 3. Get a Helpers High. What nice thing have you done lately? Look for an opportunity! If you see someone returning a grocery cart to the corral, offer to take it with you as you walk into the store. If you are golfing with a slow group, let the people behind you play through. If you’re at the drive-thru, pay for coffee for the person behind you. Sometimes just a smile or holding a door can make a difference in YOUR day. When you lift others, you rise as well. Give the gift of kindness and you’ll feel the lift in your spirit. 4. From Mundane to Magic. If you aren’t going anywhere, what can you do to bring summertime fun to you? Add a small umbrella to your orange juice. Have a picnic on your living room floor. Pitch that backyard tent and sleep outdoors. Memories can be made with little money and creative thinking. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Your dream summer may not be happening this year, but what you make of it is totally up to you. NOMO FOMO, baby. That is, No More Fear Of Missing Out. You’ve got this. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success! By Christine Cashen
Have you ever noticed that you could go through your entire day without one human interaction? Not kidding! Amazon 1-click, online banking, kiosks at the post office, Uber Eats, Chewy to my door! With the onslaught of automated services, it’s SO easy to not deal with any human face-to-face. IBM says that by 2020, 85% of all customer interactions will be handled without a human agent. Introverts unite! But wait… GET BLINDED BY SCIENCE Did you know that medical science has been demonstrating for decades: Social interaction is a critically important contributor to good health and longevity? Researchers found that having limited social contact nearly doubles the risk of depression. You probably don’t need evidence-based research to appreciate the value of making and maintaining social connections. Relationships are important. They not only stave off loneliness, but they can also make you happier, healthier, and in some cases – make you money. Yes, money. Whether helping you find that next job, a banker taking off that late fee, or someone helping you out because they KNOW you can make an emotional and financial difference. Sure, you can get a ton of info online, and make everything on your To Do list be simply transactional, but I’m talking about real interactions with real people here, people! Forget social media. Get out and get social in real time. POST OFFICE DELIVERS Let me introduce you to Micah, my post office buddy. He always has a huge smile and goes the extra mile. Recently, a customer walked in with two important-looking letters and told him that they belonged to the person who owned his house — over 3 years ago. He wanted to ‘return to sender’ but they looked important and he knew the forwarding service had expired. Micah looked at the letters and recognized my name, “I know her!” He then found me on Facebook and sent a message. “I have two letters for you that look important. Do you want me to put them in your PO Box or keep them up front?” WHAT?!? They ended up being two client checks. Whew! The post office gets a lot of grief, but how about THIS story? Thanks, Micah! It pays to know people. See what I did there?!? Pays? FACE THE FACTS Here’s what you can do:
Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success! By Christine Cashen
Every day there is a “shame” post on our neighborhood Facebook page. “Just watched a man let his dog poop on our lawn.” “Driver in an SUV swerved in my lane and almost hit me!” “The city council didn’t respond to my email.” As a motivational speaker, one of my hot tips is to just make up a story when someone does or says something that gets on your last nerve. Today, I’m going to go deeper. Not Out to Get You Are you on the lookout to be offended? You can always make a negative assumption, but why would you? Most people do not have the same knowledge base or social graces that you have. They are just living their lives, unconscious of their misbehavior or ability to communicate in an appropriate way. Lord knows I have had a longtime issue with my missing brain-to-mouth filter. I’m not proud of it, but hope people who truly know and love me realize that I would never intentionally hurt them. Usually, I’m going for a laugh and often am totally unaware of my “tone.” Question Intention Most people don’t intend to be malicious. Do you think that person who did not pick up after their dog is trying to upset you? Maybe they were out of bags. How would your day change if you were to assume positive intent? Most people do not even know there is a problem. Can you fault them? Can you help them? Is your energy being wasted on negativity? Don’t create drama that only exists in your own mind. Master Your Mindset Get control over your emotional state. Examine how often each day you are offended by something. Put your time to better use. Reframe and shift situations to change your perspective. Here’s how:
Walk out to the dog walker and offer a bag. Quietly pass my son and me as he learns to drive. And if I don’t reply to your email in a timely way, assume it went to SPAM (because it probably did). Stop being offended and take control. And, I promise to work on my brain-to-mouth filter. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success! By Christine Cashen
My husband and I attended Kevin Hart’s comedy show. Upon entering the American Airlines Center, we were greeted with a note that read “Cell Phones are prohibited before and during the show.” Seriously? How’s this going to work? The announcer mentioned it more than 30 times (I kid you NOT!) and the giant overhead marquee kept flashing the same ominous message: NO PHONES. It was intriguing. Could people really be in the moment rather than capturing the moment? Straight away, the gaggle of women behind me started talking about how they couldn’t handle it. I told my husband I’d take a video! What if my daughter runs out of gas? How are we going to make people jealous if we can’t take a selfie? At that moment, an usher took a lighted glow stick from around her neck and began swinging it over her head. Then three burly men bustled down to the front section. The back of their shirts gave away their job description — “Cell Phone Patrol.” I watched as they tapped people on the shoulders and escorted them OUT (Seriously…these people paid for tickets and were literally ushered OUT!). The gaggle behind me got silent. Power off. How hard is it? How addicted are you? Based on high-level intel (the emcee), we learned that 183 people were ejected from the show the night before. Who knows how many were escorted out during our night. I know we witnessed about 25 people getting the boot. I’ve written many blogs about phone addiction, but we still need help. Here are some suggestions to help you be in the moment. 7 Ideas to End Your Cell Phone Addiction
Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success! By Christine Cashen
Whenever I text “On my way,” it somehow becomes, “In my way.” Interesting. Could be the proximity of the O and I on the keypad. My giant thumbs, perhaps? Or, could it be a sign? How many of us are in our own way? Why aren’t we where we want to be? Many of us blame circumstances, spout excuses, or put off what we really want until later (like later ever comes). You may think you will get serious about your goals, “when the kids are grown,” “when you have more money,” or “when you have more time.” But will you??? PUT UP OR… What are you waiting for? Are you in your own way? Guess what?! You are the boss of you! It is time to stop making excuses and do what needs to be done to get where you want to go. If not, you are no longer allowed to complain about it. Period. PARENTAL CONTROL As a little girl, I distinctly remember thinking how much I wanted to grow up so that I could make my own decisions. No more parents telling me what to do, making me do things I didn’t want to do, and bossing me around…YAY! Well, that grownup time has come – and then some. Talk about underestimating that responsibility! Being the boss of your own life is challenging. It is so much easier to do nothing than something. With stress and responsibilities, adulting is hard enough without adding the extra pressure of taking steps towards accomplishing those long-term or bucket list goals. Most times, we are just trying to get through the day, get food on the table, pay the bills, get to the gym, answer those emails. But somehow, I still find time to clickbait my way to useless articles and mindless videos. GETTING BY WITH A LITTLE HELP Yes, the Beatles knew what they were talking about. We all could use a little help from our friends. How nice it would be to have someone parent and push you – someone to help you accomplish your goals? Someone to make sure you get enough sleep, make sure you eat clean, control your screen time (maybe not that last one). But alas… as adults, we are supposed to be doing this for ourselves. SWITCH ON You must become your own motivator and coach. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. That is why accountability partners are so effective. Make that angel on your shoulder louder than the devil on the opposite one. Whenever you “don’t feel like it,” let that fuel you to act. Be your own critical parent and listen to that advice. If you are sick of that extra weight, get up 20 minutes early to exercise. Get it over with! Start with 15 minutes at your bedside just stretching and gauge how you feel afterward. Guaranteed you will feel better, refreshed and recharged. Flip the stretch to a plank or pushups. Yell, “Angels Rock!” afterward. Unless your loved one is still snuggled in bed. Then, say it quietly. HIRE TO GO HIGHER My book editor, Debbie Johnson, figured me out pretty fast. I wanted to get my book done by last October. So, we worked backward and committed to a chapter a week. And what did I do? Nothing. I blew her off. No, not once…time after time. She’d call, email, text. Finally, she sent a note, “Hey…I’m signing off. Get back to me when you’re ready to get this book done.” What?! That was a wake-up call. I called. We discussed. I told her I needed her to “nag” me (her words) for another chapter, week after week. It worked. There is no way my books would have been completed without her. Maybe you are already driven? Or maybe, like me, you need a driver. If you’re serious about making something more of your life, consider hiring a life coach, voice coach, personal trainer, editor. Heck, it doesn’t have to cost anything… find an app, set alarms on your phone, count your carbs, count your steps. Grab a friend with like-minded goals and mastermind together to make them a reality. Search out the tools you need to get the job done! TREAT YOURSELF Just like kids and dogs, give yourself a treat. Reward yourself for good behavior. If you crush your onslaught of emails, only then can you cruise social media. If you yelled, “Angels Rock” in the morning, then, and only then do you get to have dessert. Watch Netflix once you have (insert goal-related task here). By the way, if the Netflix message pops up, “Are you still watching?” pretend it says, “Why the heck are you still watching!? ENOUGH!” In the epic Parks and Recreation show episode, TREAT YOURSELF, this only applies once you have put a giant checkmark by a completed list item. You do have a list, right? Place some limits on yourself and the sky is the limit. UNLOCK THE BLOCKS Promise yourself that you will quit complaining and act. If your relationship is dull, spice it up. Try to make your partner feel special. If your job sucks, find the joy in what you are doing or get out (some of you know what BOOGIE really means). If you are tired, go to bed, and go to sleep. Sounds simple, but it is not. We are in our own way. Many of us are not good parents to ourselves. No more excuses. Rock your life. You are responsible and accountable to YOU. If you knew how much longer you had to live, what would you do? Don’t wait. Create a legacy. Finish that project. Attain that goal. The world is waiting. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success! By Christine Cashen
My son started at a new high school at the beginning of this school year. As he knows no one, his motivational-speaker mom provided this brilliant advice: “I bet there are a lot of new kids. Just say hello and introduce yourself. Ask them about themselves and before you know it, you’ve started a conversation and maybe made a new friend.” Easy breezy. He’s a great kid. He’s got this! Then day #2… my son comes home with this, “Why can’t kids just talk to each other? No one asks questions. Everybody just looks at their phones. No one asked me a thing. They just want to talk about themselves.” Ugh. My pitiful response is that adults are not much better. With technology taking over, face-to-face communication has taken a back seat and people are getting rusty. Let’s bring the art of conversation back. So what kills conversations? What makes conversations killer (that means good)? Check out these common ways convos can either get hijacked or fly high…. The Conversation Karate Chop These people start or end a sentence with, “No offense," which is really code for: This is offensive, but I am going to say it anyway. The phrase means nothing except prepare to be offended. Don’t just cut “no offense” from your vocab, but also x-out what you were going to say before or after that. Stop using a phrase that tries to make insults socially acceptable. They’re not. Saying, “No offense” doesn’t excuse what you said. I’m just sayin’ (see what I did there?). The Yelper Do you know someone who posts to YELP every time they get bad service? We all have opinions, but could we be honest in the kindest way possible? Or better yet, do you need to give your view on everything? If you wonder whether you should post a negative comment, don’t. Do you have something more useful to do than try to change the opinion of someone else? Are you trying to make yourself look smarter or better than others? Maybe someone needs more support and less criticism. What can you do to be more of a helper — and less of a yelper? The Verbal Tee-Up This is the phrase you say before you criticize. “Don’t get mad but…”, “Let me be honest with you…”, “I hate to be the one to tell you this…”, and the infamous, “with all due respect.” Really?!? This should not be par for the course. The Unfiltered Before you say (or write) something, ask: Is it kind? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said at all? Yes, you can think it, but filter, people, FILTER! “That dress is a little too clingy.” “That tattoo is unfortunate.” Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to say it. The Pretender This is when you think you can multitask, but you really can’t. Have you ever grabbed your phone to check a quick text? Ever sneak a peek over someone’s shoulder to see who else is around? Come on! Do you think the other person doesn’t notice? Sometimes you can even see in a person’s eyes that they are only half listening to you, and instead of thinking of what they want to say next. The Distracted Turn your phone face down. Consider turning it off (GIANT GASP)! Look someone in the eye. Be in the moment. Engage fully with another human being. Listening is not a performance. Just listen. The Boomerang These are people who always turn the conversation back to themselves. No matter what you say, this conversation narcissist will find a way to steal the conversation spotlight. “Oh, you said you are hungry? I had dinner at the best place last night.” These people may feel as though they are bonding, but they are doing the opposite. “You think that is embarrassing, you should hear my story.” Even though I can beat anyone with an embarrassing story, I work hard to zip it. The Competitor It is a conversation, not a competition. The best exchanges go back and forth. Make sure you share the spotlight. Try being more interested than interesting. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and if you feel like you are dominating the convo, say, “Enough about me — what about you?!?” I challenge you to join the conversation — in the right way — and work on being a convo master, not a disaster. Improve relationships, build rapport, and leave people feeling better for being in your company. If you don’t agree with me, well, “Bless Your Heart.” Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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