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By Bobbe White
I asked a friend to recommend a book that had been helpful to her during a tough time as I needed an idea for a struggling friend. She cited Anne Lamott’s bestseller, “Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers.” The ironic thing is that I had given it to her in 2012! I like this book. So much so, that I reread it this weekend. It’s a brief book and full of ideas on ways to offload problems that are bugging us (HELP!). She shows the benefits of being grateful for seemingly insignificant things (THANKS!) and to acknowledge amazing occurrences (WOW!) I decided to practice below. Here goes... HELP! Our refrigerator died. Conked out. Just. Like. That. I moved salvageable food to our basement freezer, gathered coolers, and made multiple trips for bags of ice. THANKS. We appreciate our new dorm-sized fridge. Jeff argues, “It’s not dorm-sized. It’s 5 feet tall with a freezer compartment.” Okay, so it’s graduate school size. I’ve named her, “Short Stuff.” She’s more efficient than coolers, even as the freezer door pops open when you shut the refrigerator door. Kind of like the Beverly Hillbillies: the phone rings; they answer the doorbell. WOW! It’s amazing how cold Short Stuff keeps the contents. Or “wow”, is that garage hot or what?” And, “wow,” think of all the weight we’ll lose, because it’s too hot in the garage to fetch food or treats that we don’t need anyway. THANKS for this opportunity! But, HELP! The reverse is happening. I’m consuming more than ever. It’s easier to just eat the rest of something than going out to the hot garage. Sigh. HELP! Our new fridge was ordered June 1. It’s slow, due to parts being from China. You know why. THANKS! Store tells us our new fridge landed in St. Louis. (That’s two hours south for east and west coasters readers! In other words, it’s getting closer!) WOW! Installation is in two days. It’s a pretty big deal as you can imagine. Here’s another example... HELP! Last Monday, after work, the house felt warm. The thermostat read 27 degrees Celsius. “Hey Siri! Convert 27 Celsius to Fahrenheit.” Siri says, “That would be 80 degrees Fahrenheit.” Great, Oh hell, I mean, oh HELP! It’s going to be a long night. THANKS to our fans sleeping was fairly comfortable. Also, THANKS to Jeff who got Wayne, an air conditioning repairman, to come the next day. We’ll be really thankful if it simply needs a charge and some freon. HELP! The A.C. is kaput. We need a new unit. But “WOW!” Wayne can install the new unit in a few days for $3,000. So, that’s what that stimulus check was for. THANKS Congress! Also, THANKS Jeff for installing an A.C. window unit in the bedroom. Sleep, glorious sleep! HELP! The installer had heart palpitations. He’s having tests on installation day. Install tabled for now. But, hey God, seriously, THANKS for the cool front! At 64 degrees this morning on our deck, I was thankful for my sweatshirt. Have you gotten the gist using The Three Essential Prayers? Anyway, it’s Sunday, a day of prayer for many people, so a logical day to experiment with Help, Thanks, Wow. There are many things to pray “HELP!” for: our country, racial unrest, the economy, health, students, teachers, parents, and healthcare workers –– basically anything COVID related –– which seems to be everything lately doesn’t it? There are many things to say, “THANKS!” for. It’s okay if you have to get creative. Like our one cucumber plant, that now spans a 10’ x 4’ foot garden plot. HELP! Cukes have overtaken the garden. Still, “THANKS!” A garden of any vegetable is a good thing. And WOW! There are so many of them. Also, there are myriad ways to pray and personally, I’m thankful for an additional, non-traditional, logical way. THANKS for reading my post. Now, this is your cue to yell, “HELP!” if needed, say, “THANKS,” when you can and amaze yourself with WOW-worthy things! Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success!
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By Bobbe White
I considered some New Year’s resolutions. Then I thought, “That’s stupid. Just make better habits.” That’s all resolutions are: better habits. Here’s my Happy New Year habit proclamation to all seven people reading this post: “I will be punctual for appointments. If not on time, I shall be early!” Simple. Everything’s written in my planner, iPhone, iPad and on the fridge. Do we have tools out our wazoos or what? And yet, January 3rd, three days into the new year, I missed my 7:00 a.m haircut. Not late for it. I missed it completely. First you wonder, “Why would anyone pick seven o’clock a.m.?” The first appointment means no waiting. This time doesn’t conflict with other commitments. It’s the best slot. Second, I love my hairapy. (Hair + therapy). If you are a good fit with your stylist, you know what I’m talking about. Every four weeks Kris cuts. We talk about stuff. What I’ve been doing. What he’s been doing. Travel stuff. Life stuff. Also, short hair needs regular cuts. If stretched further, you’ll have wonky spots (i.e. basic bedhead or hat hair). Not pretty. In December, I stuck the appointment card in my backpack-card-keeper. I wrote it in my planner. That should have taken care of it. I should’ve done a lot of things. I should’ve typed it into my work calendar, which pops up with daily. I should’ve written it on the refrigerator calendar. I should’ve stuck the card on the door with a magnet like usual. I should’ve, but I didn’t. And as I’ve said it before, “SHOULD IS A DUMB WORD!” I found the card and realized I hadn’t read my planner the night before. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I said. (Plus a really bad word.) I beat myself up all weekend for being inconsiderate. Kris will say, “It’s okay.” But it’s not okay. I feel rude and irresponsible. Most importantly, when appointments are disappointments - meaning a no-show - the business loses money. Time is money. Believe it or not, someone else may have wanted that 7:00 a.m. And I disappointed. Like pearly white teeth, with a front tooth missing. That was me. Being late or a no-show makes me feel disrespectful. It shows how little I must care about someone else’s time. But it’s really not that. It’s not. It’s more like being Busy Bobbe. Too many things in too many directions. Kris should charge me anyway. So I’m proclaiming it for all to read, “New habit. Right here. Right now.” We can have 100 excuses about why we‘re late or why we disappointed. None of them carry weight, other than laying on an ER gurney or searching for a lost child, parent or dog. Aside from those, they’re just excuses. The bottom line is: it’s about somebody else’s time. And that’s a pretty big deal. Honor it. Happy New Habit Year. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker! By Bobbe White
It wasn’t a new year’s resolution, but 2019 has turned out to be the “Year of the Friend” visits around the country. The only reason it happened is this: I invited myself. Ugh. I can hardly write about these impositions. Mom is, no doubt, rolling her eyes out loud at me, because people with manners just don’t do this. I’m a little sorry, but not a lot sorry, because I got to mix some biz with pleasure and spend time with really great friends. My destinations included humans – and a few hounds – ages 4 weeks old to 94. The overall theme of these travels was, “If not now, when?” I’ve learned that with major miles and busy lifestyles among us, most people won’t outright invite others. I really don’t either, really. We all just assume, “They should know they’re welcome.” They haven’t met my mother, “Not until you’re invited, Young Lady!” When imposing on others, I tried hard to abide by these ten tips. (My hosts may be rolling their own eyes after reading my intentions below…!)
Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Bobbe White
We’ve been hearing this phrase a lot lately. It’s a handy one. It can tolerate any pronoun: That’s on me. That’s on you. That’s on us. That’s on them. I think this phrase be used a lot or a little. It depends. If we’re taking ownership in something we’ve done that doesn’t turn out particularly well - well, that’s on me. I need to own it. Before slinging this phrase around, perhaps the best idea is to turn the phrase into a question “That’s on who?” (For you grammar gurus, I suppose it’s more correct to say, “That’s on whom?” Whichever, it is and right now, I’m getting confused about the wrong thing, so let’s move on, shall we?) If someone is trying to throw blame on you for something, they might say, “That’s on you!” If it’s true, then it’s going to hit right where it hurts. Why? Because truth is hard. Truth can hurt. But the truth is the truth is the truth. And that’s the truth. Or as our Nick would’ve said it as a little kid, without front teeth, “That’s the troof!” And that’s okay. We need to hear a little more troof! The problem with hearing the troof is that we become so defensive. It’s a natural response. If we don’t go down the defensive road, I know that for myself, I will just crumble into a puddle of woe. Woe goes like this: “I’m so stupid. I’m such a loser. I should’ve known better.” Yeah, let’s be self-defeating. That’s so much more fun! This is because someone has just validated what I’ve known all along. And the troof can feel like crap. So, be careful before you sling around “That’s on you.” However, if we’re to correct our actions and become better humans, then it’s important to know what troof feels like. I think I really like using this version (troof), because it makes me laugh. And maybe we all need to do that a little bit more when it’s on us. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Bobbe White
How do we hold ourselves back in life? Let me count the ways. I’ve been noodling on why and here’s a big one: We hold ourselves back when we believe people are judging and watching us. Consider this: people are thinking waaaaaaay less about us than we imagine. I test this theory whenever I work out at the gym or take a class. Most members are high school or college-age. There are a handful of mature athletes in the house. (I use both those terms loosely: mature, athlete.) Trust me people, they’re not watching us, critiquing us or caring one bit about our squats thrusts. If they give one second of thought to our presence, it might sound like this: What you HOPE they’re thinking about you: “Sure hope I can work out like that when I’m his/her age!” What they’re PROBABLY thinking (if anything): a. “Hope I never get THAT old!" b. “Don’t old people have their own gym and workout times?” c. “What old lady/man? Where?” As they step over you. I realized a long time ago that my presence is of very little concern to others in most situations. I’m okay with that fact. And you should be too. On the flip side, I enjoy observing them, when they don’t know it. No, not in a creepy way. Geesh. I’ve watched gangly, awkward boys come back more grownup after a summer or semester. I’ve seen young timid girls workout solo instead of having a twin-friend attached to the hip. Eventually, they become more comfortable in their own skin. I’m amused at the cajoling and berating they exchange and also receive from the trainers, who push them for more. Mostly, I attempt to absorb the raw energy that permeates the gym environment, when young people are present. Then again, maybe it’s the rap music that’s playing… If and when the gym sets hours by age group I will abide by that schedule. Until then, I intend to show up as it fits into my schedule and be perfectly comfortable. A few of us have already coined our workout times, should we be segregated, such as, “Old Fart Friday!” But, and this is a BIG but…what if I’m all wrong and the gym rats don’t like mature men or women sharing their weights and space? First of all, there’s enough space for everyone. Secondly, the kettle bells I use are ones you cast off years ago. Finally, like it or not, one day, you’ll be us. Bratty-looking emoji. Isn’t it refreshing to realize you’re NOT under anyone’s microscope but your own? Live your life in perspective. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Bobbe White
For most of my life, January was the draggy, first month of the year. That was all. Then in early 1988, January became the month that forever made me a better Bobbe. I found out I was pregnant. (Forgive me, in the olden days, we didn’t say, “We got pregnant.” It still confuses my brain.) Shock was the word. A baby! A baby? I mean after eleven years of marriage, it seemed unlikely to everyone. Our families, were elated, but shocked. My boss did the jaw drop. Nobody else was privy to our early news. We’re funny like that. Jeff, the forward thinker, and I talked endlessly about how a pregnancy would change plans. The most immediate battle was, “You probably should save your two weeks of vacation in February for your maternity leave.” WHAT? We’re going to mess with my vacation now? This did not set well, as I had not yet learned the lesson of sacrifice for what’s truly important. I felt selfish and defiant, but I lived for a winter vacation! I can hear what you’re thinking. “Pathetic.” I reluctantly agreed. Our quietness proved wise, when three weeks, later on a cold, grey January day, the ultrasound tech said: “I shouldn’t be the one to tell you, but there just isn’t any activity. I’m so sorry.” I’ll always remember her kindness, because my OB/GYN lacked it. I can still recall his approach. “Twenty-five percent of all women miscarry, but 90% of them go on to have as many children as they want.” Good information, but not for somebody like me, who for the first time, needed someone more therapeutic than statistical. I realized doctors are more suitable for some patients than others. It never mattered before, but now it did. I changed docs. I went to Mom and Dad’s to miscarry, seeing as Jeff was out of town. Mom slept in the other twin bed. As we lay awake, she told me she was having empathetic labor, right along with me. She was no stranger to the process. My in-laws sent a touching card that read: “After the rain showers, the rainbows appear.” I have held onto that thought and that card for thirty years. Various “deals” were made with God and myself, namely, “If I have the chance again, I won’t blabber about ruined vacation time. How immature! I won’t complain about any of it!” Fast forward, our daughter, Korey, was born January 31, 1989. Her arrival redefined the month for me forever. January now holds great promise and large lessons. As a result, I believe I never took my children for granted. Ever. At least, I don’t think I did. I occasionally stomached gobs of guilt, when I missed certain milestones, but guilt is the gift that keeps on giving and regardless of whether it’s about children, or a partner or a pet, guilt helps us to instantly redefine misdirected priorities. Our hardest lessons give us the most needed gifts. What life-changing event reshaped your attitude? Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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