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By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
I used to be a huge procrastinator. Not just a motto, but a way of life, I believed “Why do today what can be accomplished tomorrow?” Working as a hospital chaplain in my 20s, however, woke me up to be far more intentional in savoring the profound gift of each day as well as celebrating the wonder of simply being alive. John O’Leary shares what it is like to be a hospital chaplain. One experience especially stands out. It was late in the evening, and I was on call. A patient was brought into the hospital after suffering a heart attack. The frantic pace of the staff gave every indication the situation was dire. As the patient’s family arrived, I ushered them into a private room near the Emergency Department. The role of the chaplain in these situations is to sit with the family, serve as a conduit to the staff, and offer any emotional, physical or spiritual support to alleviate the agonizing tension of waiting. For family, the unknown and sense of total helplessness is the hardest part of the waiting. On this evening, in spite of the best efforts of our medical staff, there was nothing they could do to revive the gentleman. After exhaustive work, a doctor came into the packed room, explained what had happened, and shared with the family that their loved one had passed away. Shouts of anger and heartache filled the room: “I can’t believe he’s gone!” “Couldn’t you have done more?!” “I thought we’d have so much more time together.” “It’s too soon.” “He was healthy and vibrant.” “He wasn’t ready to go.” “No! This is just not right. This isn’t fair.” Even though I didn’t personally know the patient or his family, in their cries of despair, I ached with them. The life lesson John O’Leary learned while serving as a hospital chaplain. What I remembered most about that evening, though, was not the heartbreak or the grief. Tragically, as a chaplain at a world-class trauma center, it is common to be with families when they learn of a loved one’s death. It’s always heartbreaking. And frequency doesn’t make it easier. No, the reason I remember that evening, that family, and their grief so vividly is because, for the first time, I saw that regardless of age or circumstance, the loss of a loved one is always shocking. The man who died that evening was 86 years old. Although he’d lived close to a century, no one expected him to pass away, no one imagined he’d get sick, no one fathomed he would not be there tomorrow. Few of us ponder honestly the profound fragility and beauty of life at any age. Several thousand years ago the author of Psalms reminded us: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” The goal of life isn’t to number the days to keep score, but in order to live them passionately, faithfully, intentionally, and lovingly. Since that evening spent with a wonderful family mourning the painful passing of their patriarch, I’ve tried to focus on numbering my days. This attention reminds me daily what matters and what doesn’t. It informs what I say yes to and what I say no to. It reminds me that the time with my parents is fleeting, my role as a parent to little ones is ephemeral and the time with my wife a sacred gift. Counting your days will make you live more intentionally. My friends, knowing that tomorrow isn’t promised should not scare us. Instead, it should give us conviction to be far more intentional in living vibrantly now. Today, choose to number your days. Rejoice in what you have and those gathered around you. And in the midst of the anxiety, difficulty and unknowns of this day, remain confident that this day remains a gift and even better days are yet to come. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success!
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By LeAnn Thieman. This was originally published on LeAnn's blog.
A unique twist on positive thinking was taken from the Roman Stoic philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca (just Seneca to his friends.) He was a busy guy born in the year 4 BC He was not only a philosopher, but a tutor, statesman, dramatist, humorist and an advisor to Emperor Nero. His unusual twist on positive thinking suggested that occasionally we try not to focus on the best case scenario, but the worst. Seneca advised, for example, that if you feared losing your wealth you should, “Set aside a certain number of days during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself all the while, ‘Is this the condition I feared?’” Do you suppose after that he said, “Well, this isn’t so bad!” One person, following Seneca’s advice, recently admitted that her greatest fear was to feel embarrassed. So she went to every table at a busy restaurant and said, “Hello” to every person there. Her overblown fears were cut down to size. No one shouted at her or attacked her; she just got a few strange looks. I realize I use this tactic too. In stressful or fearful situations I sometimes ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” When I think that through, I often surmise, “Well, I could handle that.” Do you have a worst fear? Try this technique to help you to overcome it. Maybe you won’t wear a rough course dress and talk to people in a crowded restaurant, but what worse case scenario can you imagine…and handle? Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Mary Kelly
It is normal for many people to doubt themselves. If you have feelings of self-doubt, you’re in good company. Doubting yourself creates a host of unfavorable scenarios and prevents you from reaching your full potential. It holds you back. Many opportunities may pass you by because you feel as though you don’t deserve them, you are not qualified enough, or that you’re lacking in some way. Self-doubt is especially prevalent in the presence of peers. It’s easy for others on your level academically or professionally to challenge your self-belief – just by being there! You might feel like they’re ahead of you, even though you’re on the same level. It’s important to realize that you’re just as deserving as anybody else. Stop comparing yourself to others. Keep these concepts in mind to help you feel confident when trying to persuade others:
As my friend Jess Pettitt says, “you are good enough now”. Seize your well-earned confidence and move forward to your next challenge. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Kristin Baird
Over the course of my career, I’ve been on both the sending and receiving sides of feedback. I’ve come to know that continuous improvement requires that you be able to do both well. Training, preparation, and practice are all essential in building feedback skills. Many leaders seek skill development in delivering feedback. They also benefit by preparing for various reactions to their feedback. Our firm does a lot of training and development for various groups ranging from front line associates to physicians and executives. We frequently work with leaders on how to give feedback. Giving effective feedback requires clarity, respect, and emotionalintelligence. This will ensure key points are communicated and received effectively. How do you react when you are on the receiving end of feedback? MANY PEOPLE LEARN HOW TO GIVE FEEDBACK, BUT FEW ARE TAUGHT SKILLS TO RESPOND TO FEEDBACK GRACIOUSLY. HOW YOU RESPOND CAN BE A MATTER OF INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITY AND EXPERIENCE. It seems there is little training and supporting in helping people to RECEIVE feedback. My observations show more focus is given to the sender and little, if any, to the receiver. Working on one without the other can set you up for failure. Why? Because if the recipient hears feedback as criticism, the result will be defensiveness, anger or hurt feelings. This is not effective feedback. But if the receiver hears feedback as helpful information, the result can be motivational and clarifying. TO BUILD A CULTURE OF CONTINUOUS IMPROVEMENT, YOU NEED TO HELP PEOPLE GIVE AND RECEIVE FEEDBACK. When individuals within an organization reach emotional intelligence to receive feedback graciously, and see it as an opportunity to improve, it will elevate the entire team. This is key to effective feedback. Getting to that point takes conscious effort. If we spend as much effort helping people learn to receive feedback as we do in giving it then we will make advancements much more quickly. Creating a culture of continuous improvement means becoming one where everyone takes ownership for the good of the organization. A culture where everyone holds themselves and others accountable for effective feedback. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! |
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