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By Marilyn Tam
Bill, CEO of the industry leading company smiled, nodded and said, my people will go through walls for me. He was confident that his team would follow his direction in the upcoming challenges. We were working together to significantly improve the standards for the industry, and there are potentially significant obstacles along the way. Making dramatic changes are disruptive, and some of the team may resist and/or sabotage the process. What about you? Are you certain that your crew would stand with you when you lead them into demanding situations? This is the test of leadership. This is the heart of leadership. Today’s tight labor market and proliferation of remote work have given workers more employment options. People are seeking reasons to be committed to an organization where they are spending the bulk of their time. According to Harvard Business Review and Gallup research , people are looking for meaning and growth in their work even before a bigger paycheck. Microsoft, one of the world’s most respected and highest ranked company’s CEO, Satya Nadella states that empathy is the center of their agenda for innovation. Respect, understanding, and support is at the core of their flourishing and ability to attract, retain and develop their team. On the employer review site Glassdoor, Microsoft is rated 4.5 out of 5.0 by their employees. This rating is second only to Bain and Company, a company also known for treating their team with heart, after all as a consulting company, Bain and Company must treat their biggest asset, their consultants well. They need their workers, without them they have absolutely nothing. Building our heart — mind connection is essential for personal wellbeing as well as a leadership skill. Deborah Rozman, President & CEO of HeartMath, author and psychologist knows this very well. Her organization is founded on guiding and training leaders on how incorporate heart into leadership. Frequently, accumulated stress results in anxiety, anger, depression, sleeplessness, illness, and more. When your physical, mental and emotional systems are aligned, you are more able to access your heart’s intuitive guidance and connect with your higher creative potentials and enable you to manage and interact from compassion and understanding. Recently Deborah Rozman and I discussed why and how to lead, recruit, retain and motivate an organization’s teams. The podcast and video are now offered on HeartMath’s website and on Youtube. A leader with heart means that they listen, build confidence and respect, while establishing and executing on the mission and purpose of the organization. They sincerely appreciate, understand, and train their workforce with understanding and compassion. And the results are remarkable and well documented scientifically. Exactly what is needed for the current times, when workers are looking for meaning and connection in their work. How to build your heart-mind coherence? Below are five tools you can use from HeartMath and my experience, to support your development of this powerful connection: 1. Establish a quiet and safe environment — where you can take a few moments to reflect and center. You can be inside a building or in nature where you can spend by yourself for the duration of the exercise, which can be as short as a few minutes to 30 minutes or more. 2. Heart Focused Breathing — turn your focus to your heart/chest area and breathe from there. Take slower and more conscious breaths. Notice how that relaxes your body by gently sensing into each limb, your torso and your head and shoulders. Close your eyes and continue to breathe in this manner. 3. Enliven a positive mindset — recall and hold a pleasing and fond incident or memory and/or invoke gratitude and a feeling of love. Keep that feeling in your mind and heart. Continue your heart focused breathing. 4. Hold that positive mindset and relax in that space for 3 minutes or more. You can stay in this condition as long as you are comfortable. Notice how your body and mind continue to unwind and de-stress. 5. Slowly open your eyes — and consciously re-enter the physical space you are in. Acknowledge your strengthened coherence between your heart and mind. Gently move your body and resume your day with renewed energy and insight. What happened to Bill and his challenging project? He incorporated the 5 mind-heart coherence steps into the beginning of his strategy meetings. He shared the bold and potentially hugely rewarding venture with his team. Indeed, his team stood with him as they took on the biggest and riskiest project in their company history. They exchanged ideas, outlined opportunities and pitfalls that are inherent in the ambitious venture. They bonded and felt safe to share, innovate and co-create. Now six months later, they have secured the foundation of what will be the next step forward in their company’s future. Even a solid team needs a boost when the stakes are very high. In our assessment review, Bill gave me a high five as we celebrated the enthusiastic reception to what was a perilous journey. They are not home yet, but they know the way, and the 5 mind-heart coherence steps are now part of their meeting protocol. The heart in leadership is now part of their company culture. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success!
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By Marilyn Tam
Bundled up in warm parkas, scarves, and hats to fend off the blustery, winter ocean storm, we watched as mother slid into the just filled, sloshing swimming pool aboard the cruise ship. This was the first reliable travel tip I learned — in case of seasickness, swim. Thankfully the other tips I’ve learned over the millions of miles of business and personal travel are not as hard to execute. And there are also more convenient ways to deal with motion sickness. Packing for a trip is one of the first issues we face. What to bring, how much, and how do we keep everything intact and unwrinkled? What to bring — for most, the question to ask is, do you really need that? Overpacking is common. Research the locations you are going to visit so you know the weather, basic customs, and dietary habits so you can plan. Bring only things that are specific and difficult to replace for your trip — like your personal electronic devices, work material, medication, nutritional supplements, attire for special occasions, and any small gifts that you wish to share. Some people like to bring a favorite item that reminds them of home. If you have food allergies, it is wise to take some packable foods in case you are not able to find suitable food easily. I usually carry a bag of homemade blend of nuts, dried fruit, protein and greens powder, hemp seeds, chia seeds and buckwheat for breakfast — it’s fast, convenient, and nutritious. Other than the above list, there are usually stores where you are going for most items. How to keep your wardrobe from looking like a wrinkled mess. Oftentimes I travel to several countries, climates, and time zones over a couple of weeks. It would be a challenge to keep looking fresh and presentable if I didn’t have a way to minimize wrinkles in packing! The secret? Rolling your clothes: Lay out your biggest item, a long sleeve jacket, a robe, or a large scarf on a flat surface, on a bed, a table, or a clean floor. Then layer on your clothes, starting with the heavier pieces and ending with lighter, less wrinkle prone pieces. Flatten and straighten each item as you lay them down. Then fold the sleeves in towards the middle, and starting at the top end of the pile, make a tight roll. You can make several rolls to fit into packing cubes and fit them all into your suitcase or make one large roll and lay that directly into the suitcase. Fit shoes, toiletries, and other small items around the roll(s) to ensure a good fit with no open corners for the things to slide around. When you arrive, unroll your bundle(s) and either hang up your things or leave the roll open to retrieve from as you need. Take care in removing each item so that you are sliding them out without making wrinkles in the rest of the layers. That’s it! How to eat well and healthy. You will be eating in unfamiliar places, with new menu choices, at erratic hours, oftentimes tired and needing a boost. It’s easy to overindulge, thinking it would give you more energy and feel better. Plan ahead so that you get the nourishment you need to maintain the strength and composure you need to achieve your trip’s goals. Yes, even if that is just to have a relaxing and fun time during your vacation. Stay somewhat close to your usual dietary habits. Each region and country have different food customs and enjoying new things can be fun and exciting. Moderation is the key. Your body is conditioned to your routine and drastic changes would likely upset your digestive system, energy levels and overall wellbeing. If you are unsure of what is in the dish, politely ask before you order or eat, especially if you have allergies. Drink more water than you usually do, so that you are hydrated to help flush away the stresses of travel. Abstain or minimize alcoholic beverages during flights, they are dehydrating and tax your metabolic processes. Save them for after you arrive and are settled. Regard food as a wonderful way to learn about the local culture, bond over meals, taste and enjoy the area’s culinary offerings, while recognizing your body’s needs to maintain health and vibrancy. How to get adequate sleep. Jet lag issues. Time zone changes, new surroundings, different beds, and noises can really disrupt your sleep pattern. Upon arrival, immediately adapt to the new time zone as much as you can. If it is daytime, follow a daytime schedule. Spend time outside so that your body can adjust to the time of day there. Being exposed to natural light helps your body to recalibrate your circadian rhythms. Move and stretch to get your circulation flowing freely. Adjust your sleeping hours to the new time zone. A variety of tools can help ease your transition into rest when it’s not bedtime where you just came from. Drink a soothing cup of tea like chamomile, lavender etc., and listen to calming music/talk to ease you into a restful sleep. Keep your room temperature on the cool side. Practice a relaxing breathing exercise. Wear ear plugs or play a white noise soundtrack to insulate you from outside noises. Eyes shades can do wonders to keep light away to encourage rest. Ahead of your travel, inch your time zone closer to your destination’s. That way you will be more adapted upon arrival. Shift your time by an hour a day/every other day over a week or more will ease your jet lag greatly. How to avoid or minimize motion sickness. It’s called motion sickness, not motion discomfort because it’s truly miserable! There are a few things that will help to prevent or minimize this unsettling affliction:
In all cases, your goal is to help your inner ear maintain balance so that your body can adjust to the changing movements and direction. There are several over-the-counter medications that may help, along with ginger, acupressure wrist bands, other mechanical aids. There are also prescription medicines which may offer relief, check with your medical practitioner for that. Of course, there’s the sure-fire way of addressing seasickness that I started the blog with, jump into the water! This is not always feasible, but it’s one that’s proven to work in very trying circumstances. On that long ago ocean cruise, my mother was in a cold sweat, vomiting and dizzy. She was nauseous and wanted to get off the ship, even though it was her idea for the cruise to begin with. To her credit, she came up with the notion to fill the swimming pool so that she could swim. Magically she was fine after that one choppy, chilly swim, and happily enjoyed the rest of the cruise. Other people have swum in the water around the boat/ship and have gotten back on with no more motion sickness too. Travel can be fun, exciting, and meaningful. Take a little time to prepare for your journey and you’ll have a lovely time, getting and being there. You’ll come home, refreshed, feeling satisfied that you accomplished what you set out to do — conclude successful business or have a relaxing vacation, or, both! Happy trails! Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
Bill, CEO of the industry leading company smiled, nodded and said, my people will go through walls for me. He was confident that his team would follow his direction in the upcoming challenges. We were working together to significantly improve the standards for the industry, and there are potentially significant obstacles along the way. Making dramatic changes are disruptive, and some of the team may resist and/or sabotage the process. What about you? Are you certain that your crew would stand with you when you lead them into demanding situations? This is the test of leadership. This is the heart of leadership.Leadership’s task is to get to the heart of the matter. Today’s tight labor market and proliferation of remote work have given workers more employment options. People are seeking reasons to be committed to an organization where they are spending the bulk of their time. According to Harvard Business Review and Gallup research , people are looking for meaning and growth in their work even before a bigger paycheck. Microsoft, one of the world’s most respected and highest ranked company’s CEO, Satya Nadella states that empathy is the center of their agenda for innovation. Respect, understanding, and support is at the core of their flourishing and ability to attract, retain and develop their team. Satya Nadella, CEO MIcrosoft states ”Empathy is the center of our agenda for innovation”On the employer review site Glassdoor, Microsoft is rated 4.5 out of 5.0 by their employees. This rating is second only to Bain and Company, a company also known for treating their team with heart, after all as a consulting company, Bain and Company must treat their biggest asset, their consultants well. They need their workers, without them they have absolutely nothing. Building our heart — mind connection is essential for personal wellbeing as well as a leadership skill. Deborah Rozman, President & CEO of HeartMath, author and psychologist knows this very well. Her organization is founded on guiding and training leaders on how incorporate heart into leadership. Frequently, accumulated stress results in anxiety, anger, depression, sleeplessness, illness, and more. When your physical, mental and emotional systems are aligned, you are more able to access your heart’s intuitive guidance and connect with your higher creative potentials and enable you to manage and interact from compassion and understanding. Recently Deborah Rozman and I discussed why and how to lead, recruit, retain and motivate an organization’s teams. The podcast and video are now offered on HeartMath’s website and on Youtube. A leader with heart means that they listen, build confidence and respect, while establishing and executing on the mission and purpose of the organization. They sincerely appreciate, understand, and train their workforce with understanding and compassion. And the results are remarkable and well documented scientifically. Exactly what is needed for the current times, when workers are looking for meaning and connection in their work. How to build your heart-mind coherence? Below are five tools you can use from HeartMath and my experience, to support your development of this powerful connection: 1. Establish a quiet and safe environment — where you can take a few moments to reflect and center. You can be inside a building or in nature where you can spend by yourself for the duration of the exercise, which can be as short as a few minutes to 30 minutes or more. 2. Heart Focused Breathing — turn your focus to your heart/chest area and breathe from there. Take slower and more conscious breaths. Notice how that relaxes your body by gently sensing into each limb, your torso and your head and shoulders. Close your eyes and continue to breathe in this manner. 3. Enliven a positive mindset — recall and hold a pleasing and fond incident or memory and/or invoke gratitude and a feeling of love. Keep that feeling in your mind and heart. Continue your heart focused breathing. 4. Hold that positive mindset and relax in that space for 3 minutes or more. You can stay in this condition as long as you are comfortable. Notice how your body and mind continue to unwind and de-stress. 5. Slowly open your eyes — and consciously re-enter the physical space you are in. Acknowledge your strengthened coherence between your heart and mind. Gently move your body and resume your day with renewed energy and insight. What happened to Bill and his challenging project? He incorporated the 5 mind-heart coherence steps into the beginning of his strategy meetings. He shared the bold and potentially hugely rewarding venture with his team. Indeed, his team stood with him as they took on the biggest and riskiest project in their company history. They exchanged ideas, outlined opportunities and pitfalls that are inherent in the ambitious venture. They bonded and felt safe to share, innovate and co-create. Now six months later, they have secured the foundation of what will be the next step forward in their company’s future. Even a solid team needs a boost when the stakes are very high. In our assessment review, Bill gave me a high five as we celebrated the enthusiastic reception to what was a perilous journey. They are not home yet, but they know the way, and the 5 mind-heart coherence steps are now part of their meeting protocol. The heart in leadership is now part of their company culture. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
It hits you as soon as you wake up. The world is in messy disorder and it’s seeping relentlessly into your daily life. Inflation, Supply shortages, War etc., are making you feel anxious and stressed. According to a survey by American Psychological Association this month, over 81–87% of Americans are worried, anxious, and fearful about these issues now. How can you maintain some sense of equilibrium so that you can manage your work, personal life, and health without feeling overburdened by the parade of challenges? Many years ago, I used to have occasional dreams where I was not prepared for a presentation. I would wake up with a start, sweating. Such dreams are an indication that a person is feeling less confident in handling some aspect of their lives. During our current tumultuous times, it is easy to feel insecure. I am happy to share the simple tools that have helped me manage my life and world view with self-assurance, equanimity, and faith. Paraphrasing Rudyard Kipling, if you can keep your head while others are losing theirs, you’ll master the world and all that’s in it. Here’s how: First of all, breathe. Deep belly breaths to release the knots in your shoulders, tightness in your chest and to slow down the buzzing in your head. When you are tense, your breathing is shallow, and you may not realize that your shoulders are hunched up by your ears. Breathe deeply to release the tension. Repeat. Smile. Smiling, even a fake smile triggers the neuropeptides (endorphins) to relieve stress, pain and help you relax. The old songwriter who penned the lyrics for the song, “Smile” knew before the confirming research: “If you smile through your fear and sorrow Smile and maybe tomorrow You’ll see the sun come shining through for you” Stretch, move your body. US Dept of Health & Human Services has shown that movement reduces feelings of depression and stress, enhances your mood and overall emotional well-being, increases your energy level, and improves sleep. Another great benefit? It’s free. You can move any time you feel tight and anxious. Meditate. Quiet your mind. As hard as that may sound when you are feeling stressed, it’s possible. Do the above three steps first and then find a quiet place where you can be alone and feel more relaxed. Sit comfortably. Divert from your anxiety to focusing on your breath, or on a single point like a plant, a candle or some favorite object, and breathe deeply and regularly. When your mind wanders to other matters, bring it back gently and repeat the process. Start with a short period, say 5 minutes, build up from there. You will find that you feel more refreshed and calmer afterwards. Meditating in nature gives you a double bonus of feel goodness. Go outside. Find support in nature. You are part of the natural world. When you are in nature, a park, lake, ocean, mountains or just a small patch of green in your neighborhood, it will improve your attention quality, lower stress, reduce risk of psychiatric disorders, increase empathy and cooperation. A double bonus is when you meditate in nature, you will reap the rewards of both! Seek help. You are not alone, there are people, organizations, and spiritual support to assist you. A friendly ear, a helping hand, a reassuring hug, a useful referral, a heartfelt prayer. There are many ways for help to come, ask for them. Be open to receiving them. List the most challenging things you are dealing with. Prioritize them. Place possible action steps next to each item. Realize that you can affect each situation in some way, even the ones that seem out of your apparent control. When you feel that you can influence the matter, you will feel more empowered. A phone call, making a decision, a small donation to the cause, a prayer and/or your positive intention can make a difference. Find the good in the situation. Your choice of how you perceive the issue changes how you feel. Viktor Frankel, the psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~ Viktor Frankel It’s challenging to perceive good in grim circumstances. In Viktor Frankel’s case, and he suffered greatly in the concentration camps, he lost many friends and his entire beloved family in the holocaust. Being a psychiatrist, he did his best to support his fellow inmates, and he observed that the ones who survived were the ones who had a reason for living. Viktor Franel’s will to live came from his determination to be reunited with his wife and to use what he was learning in the horrific conditions to help humanity. Fortunately, our problems generally are not as dire as Dr. Frankel’s, and we have more resources to support us. Use the above 8 tools to ease your path to a happier, calmer and more creative life. The world may seem frightful, but you can be a light and support in shifting the trajectory in your own way, by living from a place of awareness positivity and calmness. I’m with you. Breathe. Smile. Stretch…….. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
Sara decided that it was time to leave her job. After reviewing the pros and cons and talking it over with her family and close friends, it was time to go. The question is, how to find and gracefully transition into a new company that would fit her career and personal needs? Sara has a responsible well paid position; she supervises a team and is hands on designing and creating as well. Two members of her group left already because they too have seen the new top management recruiting and promoting more people from their previous organization and slighting existing employees. The current team’s hopes for upward mobility, and even basic trust, are gone. Sara thought with her recent excellent job review, that they would leave her and her group to function as they have done so well, but no. Increasing micromanagement and top-down decisions expand, and her authority is being questioned regularly. She feels pressured now to look outside the organization she’s been happily working in for the last seven years. It’s not a hastily made choice, and she wants to make sure that it’s a good one. Balance your current work while looking for a career move. photo: Magnet-MeI have been coaching Sara through her “should she stay or should she go” decision-making process and now it’s time to move onto the next step: how to continue to do her current work well while looking for a career move that would maximize her talents and interests. Sara is confident in her skills and abilities, but apprehensive about the leaving her work. It’s normal to be nervous about changing companies and starting anew. There are 7 steps to a graceful and relatively easy transition: 1. Acknowledge that you have considered and are complete with your current position, and that leaving is prudent based on all factors. Change can be unsettling, and it is natural to doubt yourself after you made a choice. Keep your list of why you chose to leave handy so that you can review them when unease arises. 2. List your desired career attributes and description as they are aligned with your life purpose. In Sara’s case she wants opportunities to learn, to contribute and grow to her highest potential while using her experience and training. She wants to do meaningful work she cares about with an engaged and collaborative team that serves and helps people. Also important for Sara, especially because of her current experience, is clear direction and shared mission in the organization. Integrity and commitment to service are other key factors. And for the work to be interesting and fun! Use your vision of what you want to guide you in where and how to look for your new position. 3. Set up your resume chronologically if you are seeking a new career similar to what you are currently doing. Classify your information by skillset and training if you are looking for something better matched by your overall experience than your current job description and past job titles may indicate. Similarly, categorize your work experience, history and background if you have time gaps in your career. Reflect on your work experience and use the resume writing process to help guide you on your desired career move. Consult with a few trusted mentors and respected industry associates; get their feedback and refine your resume as needed. 4. Refresh your professional media pages to reflect your interests, talents and experience. List your accomplishments and awards. It’s easy to forget to update your online presence; now is a good time to shine them up and highlight your achievements. Organizations are looking for talent online and through their connections; make yours visible and reflect your strengths. 5. Start researching and networking. Review and connect with the overall employment picture, with internal associates who have left, industry contacts, outside mentors, professional online platforms, employments sites and social media. Many opportunities are found by networking and via professional platforms. 6. Be open and flexible. Work opportunities are wide and growing in today’s fast changing world. Sometimes the most exciting and rewarding career for you may be in a tangential area to what you have been focused on. Explore a wider field, you may find possibilities you have not considered before. 7. Stay positive! At the beginning of any unfamiliar process, you may be hesitant or nervous. Regard this exploration as a new way to share your skills, passion, and strengths with another audience. You have the potential to shine and be recognized for all that you bring to the table. The proper fit will come, take time to consider the options, and know that you are deserving of a career that is fulfilling and rewarding. Sara is excited, and a bit nervous to be juggling her current job, the search, and her personal life. It’s a memorable time. The good news is that the job market is hot. Organizations are eagerly searching for people who have fresh ideas and expertise. Flexible work locations and work schedules are more common than ever before. This opens your career options wider since you can live and work remotely. It’s a wonderful time to reassess the different facets of life and to create something new that will serve you and everyone you touch. Perhaps you may even decide to step out and start something on your own. Good luck, I’m rooting for you! Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
The past year has graphically shown us that sudden disruptive change can happen without warning. What worked in the past is not going to resolve the issues of the present and future. The previously familiar command and control style of leadership is ineffective in managing the challenges we face now. Harvard Business review’s article by Herminia Ibarra & Anne Scoular illustrated how successful leaders today coach and mentor their teams to achieve optimal results. Yet most leaders overestimate their abilities in developing and motivating their teams. In research by Joe Folkman & Jack Zenger published in HBR, the majority of 2,761 leaders studied overestimated their coaching and mentoring skills. 24 percent were significantly off the mark on how effective they were in fostering their employees’ abilities to achieving their best, individually and as a team. Yelling and reprimanding employees, especially in a meeting, is a poor way of coaching and motivating others.My first corporate boss after college yelled constantly instead of speaking in normal tones. He shouted at everyone he worked with, in person and on the phone. He didn’t listen and barked out orders whenever he needed anything. Yet he thought he was a great leader, telling (shouting at) anyone around that he’s the best trainer of new executive trainees, including for yours truly. No one dared to contradict him — for fear of more screaming. It’s a wonder that he lasted as long as he did even back then when the hard knocks way of developing employees was more accepted. Today when talent can be accessed globally to work remotely, leaders have to establish a culture that fosters engagement, growth and collaboration to attract the best. The competition for quality workers is strong and they have great flexibility in their choice for employment. A high development environment is attractive and good for the employees and also fosters productivity, innovation, morale, recruitment and retention for the company. In 2020, Gallup research showed that organizations with a coaching and talent development centered culture have employees who are motivated by more than a paycheck. They are aligned with the company’s goals and know that their own personal career goals are intertwined with the success of the organization. These workers are more engaged, productive, innovative and stay longer at the company. How do you develop the skills to become a better leader in today’s abrupt and constantly unsettling environment? A manager’s role now is to support, guide and encourage employees to learn and adapt to continuously changing environments so that fresh energy, innovation, and commitment become the norm. The boss is not anymore the person who knows the most or has the most experience. The successful leader is the one who can manage and lead the team with vision, integrity and understanding. A coach/mentor who can bring out the best in the team, facilitate collaboration and guide progress towards the organization’s mission and goals. Leading a team remotely requires different skills. A manager has to coach and mentor to bring out the best in each person.Here are four points to help up level your leadership skills for now and the future: 1. Clarify your organization’s mission and goals and explain how they align with the work each person is doing. When employees understand the alignment between their goals and the company’s, they will know how to approach the changing circumstances appropriately with the resources available. Equally important, they will feel that they are working in tandem with the company’s mission and are actively committed to achieving it. 2. Connect with each direct report to establish their personal goals and benchmarks and maintain regularly scheduled follow up sessions. At each meeting, ask open ended questions, truly listen and respond honestly with the intention to foster personal and professional development. Conclude each meeting with actionable and measurable items to be discussed during the next session. 3. Treat each person as you would like to be treated. Guide them in fulfilling their goals even when their ideas seem grandiose. With active communication and support, your employee will either find a way to achieve their goals or learn to modify them so that they can be attained. Your job as a mentor/coach is to help them explore and grow. You gain new perspectives, and the organization is energized from the possibilities that you may not have considered. All parties learn and grow from the interactions. 4. The coaching sessions will also reveal case(s) where the employee’s goals and talents are not suited to your division/organization. Help them transition to another division or company. By doing so you open their position(s) to a more suitable person and also strengthen the reputation that you and the organization genuinely care about the employees’ wellbeing. Morale will increase, retention and recruitment will be enhanced. As you can tell the benefits of being a coach/mentor for your employees has multiple benefits. The old saying, “it not personal, it is only business” can be retired for good. Welcome to a more humane world. What happened to my first boss who yelled all the time? He was let go less than a year after I was promoted. The last I heard he moved back to New York and was doing similar work in a small company there. I wonder if it would have been a different story if he had a good coach and mentor. As for me, I learned from him how not to be. I learned the value of coaching and mentoring and how everyone and the organization gain when we collaborate, support each other and work towards the same goals. Thank you, S.C., my “anti-mentor”. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
As a child growing up in South Africa, Arun was bullied, harassed, and beaten up for being dark, and also tormented, pushed around, and thrashed for being not dark enough. He became suspicious, bitter and filled with rage. Fearing for his future, his parents sent him to India to live with his grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi. Arun learned about peace and service, and he found his life purpose, happiness ensued. Arun Gandhi is one of the six happy, diverse, and accomplished people, who run global multi-million-dollar companies to leaders of national nonprofits, I interviewed for my Happiness and Meaning of Life series. Happiness and the meaning of life, these are universally important to everyone. Yet people often miss the mark in finding the very things that they are looking for. The “shoulds” and “must haves” in our heads, subtly and incessantly infiltrated and embedded there by well-meaning people, the relentless marketing from media, and pressure from social networks, drive our thinking and actions imperceptibly and ongoingly. The leaders I interviewed, shared their personal stories, their “ah ha” moments, and how they found their way to living their life purpose, in joy, inner peace and their personal version of success. Arun Gandhi, humanitarian & grandson of Mahatma Gandhi went from an angry young man in S Africa to a lifelong “peace farmer” and activist residing in the US. Hyepin Im, founder & president of FACE, transformed from a Venture Capitalist to becoming a minister, and forming her nonprofit. Howard Schiffer, founder & president of Vitamin Angels, formerly a natural products industry executive, spent five years founding Vitamin Angels from his bedroom while working full time. Linda Akutagawa, CEO of LEAP, volunteered at the organization in between jobs and stayed on to eventually leading the organization. Sandra Yancey, founder & CEO of eWomenNetwork, didn’t have any idea she wanted to create her company until she turned 40. Bill Shireman, founder, CEO & president of Future 500, spends his life joyfully where most people would be quite uncomfortable, working to get polar opposites in politics and the environment to collaborate. These people are living the lives they were born to live. Happily, gainfully and with a peaceful heart. Listening to their stories, I found underlying principles and tools that led them to where they are living in alignment with why they were born. Here are the five key points. Six inspiring leaders, sharing how they found their path to happiness and meaning of life, and I got to record all their stories and insights! 1. Happiness is a choice In the darkest and most confusing of times, we can still find a reason for being and for gratitude. Each leader had their own version of awakening, where they found inner peace in their life circumstances. They identified reasons to give thanks in the midst of apparent disorder. By appreciating something about your current situation, the negativity, worries and even outside conditions, change to bring you more happiness.Linda Akutagawa was in between jobs; she was unsure of her next steps. Instead of worrying about her future, she volunteered at LEAP, Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics because she thought she could help others gain training and skills to advance in their careers. LEAP’s mission to support and train Asian and Pacific Islanders (APIs) in leadership, empowerment, and policy for full participation and equality resonated with her. Decades later Linda is still at LEAP, now as CEO. Her choice to help make others happier enabled her to be joyfully doing what she loves every day. 2. Find your life purpose and follow it Each one has a reason for being. Find yours and live it. How? Go inside and listen to your inner wisdom. Align your passion, gifts and calling to achieve happiness and inner peace. Howard Schiffer was a successful executive in the natural products industry, but inside he was uneasy. The question of what would be written on his tombstone nagged at him. “He sold a lot of products”, didn’t seem to be meaningful enough. It took him five years of being open and actively working on how he can make a bigger difference for him to birth the nonprofit, Vitamin Angels Vitamin Angels educates and supplies nutritional supplements to 70 million underprivileged children and mothers in over 65 countries a year. Howard is now comfortable with what is going to be etched on his grave stone. 3. You have the capability to achieve your life purpose, work on your abilities to make it real. Your dreams are achievable. Get the training, develop the skills, and make the connections needed to follow your meaning of life. Hyepin Im graduated from UC Berkeley in finance and became an auditor and VC, but neither fit with her life purpose. She enrolled in Ministerial school, and then founded her nonprofit, Faith And Community Empowerment (FACE) to empower faith community leaders to better serve underserved communities. FACE trains faith leaders, educates underserved communities, and provides advocacy so that the voiceless may have a voice. She is now aligned and fulfilled. 4. Helping others is good for you Service to others is the way to personal fulfillment. When you support others in their growth and life journey, you are also lifted, often in more ways than you can even imagine. Sandra Yancey’s father died when she was five years old. Her mother alone with three young children went on welfare to survive. Sandra remembers how others helped them when they were in dire straits. Her gratitude inspired her to develop a company dedicated to providing a mutual support business network for women entrepreneurs. She and her multi-million dollars global company, eWomenNetwork is thriving by doing good for others. 5. Your legacy lies in how you made a difference in other people’s lives What you leave behind when you depart the planet is the good you did for others. Contribute your talents, time, and resources to improving your community. Feed, educate, entertain, support, and heal others, plant trees, and/or green the earth. There are numerous ways for you to combine your interests, abilities, and time to create a more harmonious, healthy, and happy world. Young Arun Gandhi in S Africa was not thinking about his legacy. He was worried about his personal safety and life each time he went out. He was harassed regularly for his skin color by both the blacks and the whites. He was “not good enough” for either side to accept. His grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi showed him that there is a greater calling and way to live. He taught him that each person has been given unique skills, and talents and they are on loan for you to give back to the world. Arun transformed his anger and determination to learning how non-violence is more powerful than fists and guns. He has since devoted his life to teaching, speaking and promoting peace and harmony. He is happy and fulfilled now. Have you found your meaning of life? Are you happy? Asking these questions are a step in developing the path to fulfilling these vital life questions. You are connected to the greater whole and your thoughts and actions can positively influence the overall direction. Understanding this key fact has shown to be powerful motivation for people to persist and overcome challenges to greater emotional and life rewards. This is even true for young people who are discovering their reason for being. For me, interviewing these inspiring leaders and absorbing their wisdom have made me even more committed to living my life purpose of making a positive difference. May your life be similarly enhanced. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
Why being grateful creates happiness and more good 'Twas the worst of times. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack. I stopped working from the shock, my family was preoccupied and on another continent, and friends stayed away because they didn’t know how to deal with death so early in our lives. I was alone, no work, no income, and no place I wanted to be. Getting up in the morning seemed like an exercise in futility. Why bother? There was no one there, nothing to do, no place to go, and money was dwindling away. Giving thanks saved me. In the depths of my depression and listlessness, I turned inward. I prayed. I prayed for clarity, the reason for being, for what’s next. Somehow in that place of despair I heard an inner voice say to me, “Give Thanks”. Give thanks? For what? Yet the voice persisted. Give thanks. It was more a command than a suggestion. In the midst of depression and confusion, you can find a heart of gratitude. So, I developed a ritual. Upon awakening from another restless night, I forced myself to list five things I am grateful for before I get up. Small things like, I can get ready very quickly, my teeth are naturally straight, I don’t have any appointments to rush off to etc. Each morning I struggled to come up with five things to give thanks for. Some days it was hard. Other days it was really, really hard. But somehow after I listed the five, getting up became easier. Little by little the darkness cracked, and tiny slivers of light broke through, if only for a moment here and there. During my periods of equanimity, I started sorting out what to do next. Change out of my PJs. Exercise. Eat. Do things for others. Learn new things. Give thanks. Repeat. Repeat again. Gradually, over some time, things became more manageable. Then an executive recruiter called out of the blue to offer me a dream job. I accepted the job and moved across the country to a new life. Giving thanks all the way. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Yes. Grateful. Happy. Give thanks and the sun will shine again and you will dance again. Brother David Steindl-Rast developed a deep appreciation of gratitude from living day to day with death imminent under Nazi occupation in Austria. Heis now a Benedictine monk and a leader in Buddhist-Christian dialogue, alternatively traveling the world speaking on spirituality and gratitude, and spending time in deep retreat. Brother David, his teaching and life is about gratitude. His short video (5.23), “A Grateful Day” has been viewed over 1.1 Million times. Many people and groups use it and his teachings in their daily meditation. He preaches that if you wish to be happy, be grateful. The very same core message that I received when I was in deep despair. Brother David established the interactive website, www.Gratefulness.org, which serves as the home for the worldwide Network for Grateful Living. It is a place where you can find support for living each day with gratitude in your heart. It is no wonder that many cultures have a thanksgiving festival. Instinctively and traditionally, people have found that giving thanks leads to more reasons to give thanks. Like attracts like. You can use this to power your own happiness and thankfulness. Give thanks for what you have now, no matter how meager it may seem to you. Your current situation is one that some else would be grateful for. Find things in your life to give thanks for and soon, you will find that you indeed have more to be pleased about! Express gratitude in whatever way that feels authentic to you. Persist in doing so even when it’s difficult to feel grateful for your life. You will find as you do, that you’ll be happier and more good things will flow into your life too. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
Successful leaders now are more coaches and mentors than business whizzes or domain experts. Surveys and research are showing that the top leadership skills for the future are the abilities to coach, support their employees and to foster teamwork. Are you prepared? The past year has graphically shown us that sudden disruptive change can happen without warning. What worked in the past is not going to resolve the issues of the present and future. The previously familiar command and control style of leadership is ineffective in managing the challenges we face now. Harvard Business review’s article by Herminia Ibarra & Anne Scoular illustrated how successful leaders today coach and mentor their teams to achieve optimal results. Yet most leaders overestimate their abilities in developing and motivating their teams. In research by Joe Folkman & Jack Zenger published in HBR, the majority of 2,761 leaders studied overestimated their coaching and mentoring skills. 24 percent were significantly off the mark on how effective they were in fostering their employees’ abilities to achieving their best, individually and as a team. Yelling and reprimanding employees, especially in a meeting, is a poor way of coaching and motivating others.My first corporate boss after college yelled constantly instead of speaking in normal tones. He shouted at everyone he worked with, in person and on the phone. He didn’t listen and barked out orders whenever he needed anything. Yet he thought he was a great leader, telling (shouting at) anyone around that he’s the best trainer of new executive trainees, including for yours truly. No one dared to contradict him — for fear of more screaming. It’s a wonder that he lasted as long as he did even back then when the hard knocks way of developing employees was more accepted. Today when talent can be accessed globally to work remotely, leaders have to establish a culture that fosters engagement, growth and collaboration to attract the best. The competition for quality workers is strong and they have great flexibility in their choice for employment. A high development environment is attractive and good for the employees and also fosters productivity, innovation, morale, recruitment and retention for the company. In 2020, Gallup research showed that organizations with a coaching and talent development centered culture have employees who are motivated by more than a paycheck. They are aligned with the company’s goals and know that their own personal career goals are intertwined with the success of the organization. These workers are more engaged, productive, innovative and stay longer at the company. How do you develop the skills to become a better leader in today’s abrupt and constantly unsettling environment? A manager’s role now is to support, guide and encourage employees to learn and adapt to continuously changing environments so that fresh energy, innovation, and commitment become the norm. The boss is not anymore the person who knows the most or has the most experience. The successful leader is the one who can manage and lead the team with vision, integrity and understanding. A coach/mentor who can bring out the best in the team, facilitate collaboration and guide progress towards the organization’s mission and goals. Leading a team remotely requires different skills. A manager has to coach and mentor to bring out the best in each person.Here are four points to help up level your leadership skills for now and the future: 1. Clarify your organization’s mission and goals and explain how they align with the work each person is doing. When employees understand the alignment between their goals and the company’s, they will know how to approach the changing circumstances appropriately with the resources available. Equally important, they will feel that they are working in tandem with the company’s mission and are actively committed to achieving it. 2. Connect with each direct report to establish their personal goals and benchmarks and maintain regularly scheduled follow up sessions. At each meeting, ask open ended questions, truly listen and respond honestly with the intention to foster personal and professional development. Conclude each meeting with actionable and measurable items to be discussed during the next session. 3. Treat each person as you would like to be treated. Guide them in fulfilling their goals even when their ideas seem grandiose. With active communication and support, your employee will either find a way to achieve their goals or learn to modify them so that they can be attained. Your job as a mentor/coach is to help them explore and grow. You gain new perspectives, and the organization is energized from the possibilities that you may not have considered. All parties learn and grow from the interactions. 4. The coaching sessions will also reveal case(s) where the employee’s goals and talents are not suited to your division/organization. Help them transition to another division or company. By doing so you open their position(s) to a more suitable person and also strengthen the reputation that you and the organization genuinely care about the employees’ wellbeing. Morale will increase, retention and recruitment will be enhanced. As you can tell the benefits of being a coach/mentor for your employees has multiple benefits. The old saying, “it's not personal, it is only business” can be retired for good. Welcome to a more humane world. What happened to my first boss who yelled all the time? He was let go less than a year after I was promoted. The last I heard he moved back to New York and was doing similar work in a small company there. I wonder if it would have been a different story if he had a good coach and mentor. As for me, I learned from him how not to be. I learned the value of coaching and mentoring and how everyone and the organization gain when we collaborate, support each other and work towards the same goals. Thank you, S.C., my “anti-mentor”. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? What am I striving for? During these challenging times, such questions come up in many people’s minds. If we knew our life purpose and the meaning of life, the stress of our day to day trials would be easier to understand and endure. The heavy pressure, physical, emotional and financial strain we are feeling under the current health crisis, travel restrictions and political uncertainty could be converted into motivation if we can see the bigger picture. My dear friend, Glenn, is an emergency room physician and medical director. In the 30 years he’s been practicing medicine, he has seen many near-death situations and many people die. It has given him an interesting perspective on our culture’s attitude toward life and death. He says that we put the dates of a person’s birth and death on a gravestone with only a dash in between to denote their life and contribution. For example, all we know from a gravestone inscribed with the words, Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865), is that Abraham Lincoln was 56 years old when he died. We do not know that he literally held the United States of America together when it might have split apart, that he freed the slaves, and that he was a powerful orator whose vision and speeches moved a nation. The dash symbolizes our entire lives — the time we have to create meaning for ourselves, our families, our communities, our country, and the world. We are the ones responsible for what we do with our lives. We are the ones who will one day look back and determine whether the life we lived was happy, fulfilling and if it was one we are proud to have lived. Like Abraham Lincoln, we do not know when our lives may end, so we need to ask the question now: “What is the purpose of my life?” For an individual or a company, the answer to that question determines the mission and purpose. Each day you have the choice to begin again. Choose wisely. When you think about that dash — the length of your life between your birth and death — what do you want it to say about you? Ask yourself what is most important instead of what is most urgent. What gives you joy and a sense of satisfaction? These are the big questions that you need to answer in order to proceed with inner peace in your life. Some people find it by taking time to meditate and reflect. Other people find it after encountering some life-threatening incident. And others find it after being hit by some emotional or financial disaster. The key to finding it is to ask yourself honestly and fearlessly: What really makes you happy? What gives you inner peace? Ultimately it is usually the relationships that you make with yourself and with your family and friends you value that are most important. It is about contributing to the wellbeing of the greater whole, to using your talents and gifts to help make the world a better place. Make a commitment to yourself and to your loved ones that you are going to devote your time to what is going to make you happy and proud of your “Dash.” Knowing the meaning of your Dash makes it less trying to deal with the onslaught of challenges you are facing today. Your dash; it’s yours to determine how you play it out. Make it one that you are happy to live. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! |
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