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By Mel Robbins
Have you been in this situation? You’re sitting in a business meeting with an innovative idea bubbling up inside of you. It could save your company money or advance that project your team is working on. But as good as your idea is, you never bring it up. Or you do speak up, and you’re quickly interrupted, so you shrink back into your seat and pull your idea back down with you. If you’re a woman nodding yes, you are not alone. Research finds that in mixed-gender meetings, men tend to dominate 75% of the conversation. And why wouldn’t they? From a very early age, males from around the world are taught, consciously or not, that their role is to take risks. Females, on the other hand, learn from as early as six years old that they are vulnerable, need protection, and should be seen and not heard. But you know what happens when women shut down and don’t share? B.L.O: Businesses.Lose.Out. That’s right. Valuable perspectives never get shared. That affects a company’s profits, potential for growth, and overall performance. It’s time to change that. In my Audible Originals™ Audiobook, Work It Out, I share how your patterns of behavior at work are related to the way you do life in general. Instead of asking, What’s wrong with me? when it comes to your struggles, the question you need to ask yourself is, What happened to me? Often we find that very early messaging or strategies we used to get attention as children are the very ones that backfire on us today. Through five very personal coaching sessions with women looking to move into their next work chapters, we get to the root of what drives their struggles. You may be surprised that what lies beneath self-doubt, lack of boundaries, and indecision has little to do with work and everything to do with what came before. But back to our meeting. Why is it important you speak up and share that idea? Because first, your idea matters. And who knows? It could be the idea that changes the way your company operates and then business quadruples and hundreds more people are hired and you just changed the world. Second and perhaps more importantly, even if your idea is dribble, you made yourself visible. After all the progress women have made in the corporate world in the past two decades, and with all the right ways women are operating to get ahead, the gender pay gap is still real. Women, on average, earn .78 less on the dollar than men for the same job. And no surprise that women of color make even less. But there IS good news and I want every woman on the planet to know what it is. Research from Catalyst found that there is one strategy that can increase the salary for a woman. It’s visibility. Ladies, you have to stop making yourselves invisible at work. Please – with a capital P – make damn sure your achievements are being seen by those who sign paychecks and do the promoting. I offer lots of coaching around this in Work It Out, but one place you can make sure you’re in plain sight is through your presence in company meetings. And listen. I know it’s hard to speak up when you’re not used to doing it. I know it’s hard to be a confident presence when your voice is the only female one in the room. And it’s okay to be scared. But please. Don’t let your fear stop you. You have a voice and you have ideas and they deserve to be heard, my friend. So the next time you’re in a business meeting, these are the 6 steps I want you to take: #1 Sit in the center. No more hiding at the end of the conference table or in a corner. Sit with your team leaders or whoever is running the meeting. This is the most obvious way to make yourself visible, but it also makes it easier to hear what’s being discussed and to participate in the conversation. #2 Instead of taking notes, take note. Stop transcribing every word of the meeting and then sharing your notes with everyone else on the team. Unless your job is to take notes, pay attention and jot down bullet points. If you want to elaborate on those bullets after the meeting, go for it. But during the meeting, you should be head up and ready to contribute. #3 Speak up. Even if all you do is agree with somebody else, insert and assert. Set a goal to speak up at least once at every meeting and when you do, set your volume loud enough so everyone can hear you. #4 Watch what you say and how you say it. Author Pat Heim has studied gender culture in the workplace for decades and her research found that when women speak up in meetings, they end their sentences with disclaimers like, right? In this way, their sentences sound more like questions, which to a man sounds like a need for approval. Instead, practice on your own time asserting yourself in a way that sounds confident. And if speaking up freaks you out, please take a public speaking course or join a Toastmasters group to develop your confidence. #5 Check your body language. The way you enter a room and sit in the meeting says you’re either there to contribute or you’d rather disappear into the upholstery. Sit up tall, roll your shoulders back, keep both feet solidly on the floor, and make direct eye contact with whomever is speaking. #6 Finish what you have to say. When conversations between men and women are studied, data finds that men tend to cut women off a third of the time. If you’re speaking and someone jumps in, keep the floor. Continue sharing your idea without stopping or ask the interrupter to let you finish. Remember, you train people how to treat you and the way you take up space tells others how valuable you are. You have a place at the table; it’s your time to take it. Not just for you, but for all women everywhere. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success!
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By Courtney Clark
If you’ve ever had one of those moments where you just wanted to scream “I quit!” and clean out your desk, then you know what I’m talking about. I recently got a LinkedIn connection request from the worst manager I ever had. He refused to stick up for me (or any of my colleagues) when we were being undermined, bullied, harassed, and prevented from doing our jobs by the manager of another department. Employee after employee asked for his help getting this other manager out of our way. Employee after employee begged him to intervene. Employee after employee quit. There were so many times during this job that I just wanted to pack my stuff up and go home. The problem? I LOVED what I was doing. Everything besides the toxic leadership at this job was amazing. The work was great, my other colleagues were great… and of course I needed the paycheck. During those long months before I finally handed in my resignation letter, I came up with a plan to make staying survivable. Here’s what I did when I wanted to quit, but couldn’t... Start In Two Places At The Same Time When you’re facing a frustrating situation, our brains tend to recognize two ways we can help ourselves feel better: fixing the problem, or soothing our emotions. Psychologists call these two strategies Problem-Focused Coping and Emotion-Focused Coping. Research shows that using coping techniques that fall into not one but both categories – simultaneously – gets us the best results. (So if you were one of those people who learned that successful people only use Problem-Focused Coping, it’s time to un-learn that bad habit!) The Heart of the Matter Emotion-Focused Coping in the middle of a bad job experience can be things like finding a friend or mental health professional to talk to about the stress. Leaning on other people for support is a coping mechanism that most of us take for granted, but it’s one of the strongest ones we can use. The only catch is that sometimes we may find ourselves “venting” instead of actually processing. Venting is when we just rehash our anger over and over, always staying at the boiling point. In a healthy conversation, you’ll want to use your listener as support to help you feel better and maybe even find some new coping ideas. Another option is volunteering. When I was researching my book The Giving Prescription, I found that giving back to others is one of the best ways to help you get perspective even when life is challenging or frustrating. All through my initial cancer diagnosis, I was volunteering every week at a nursing home, doing singing and dancing performances with a group of other young women. I was scared and struggling, but two things happened during those evening performances: I could see I wasn’t the only one struggling in life, and I also recognized that despite my illness, I had the ability to bring joy to people’s lives. Taking Baby Steps Problem-Focused Coping is using strategies and taking action that will hopefully solve the root cause of the issue. Interestingly, though, studies show that just taking any action might be enough to help you feel better, even if the action doesn’t have a direct result, because action-taking helps us feel more in control. When it comes to staying in a job where you want to quit but can’t, Problem-Focused Coping might look like coming up with ways to keep your boss happy and conflict at a minimum. In my job with the poor manager who let the other manager harass us, I started anticipating ways the other manager was going to “accidentally” sabotage my programs, and building in safeguards to make it more difficult for that to happen. It might also mean starting to make a plan for when you can look for a new job. An important element that helps internal resilience is something called “future orientation.” When we make plans for the future, it helps us keep our drive up, even in tough situations. So tell yourself “I can’t quit now. But I can start job hunting in six months.” And then work backwards from there. “So I’ll need to start brushing up my resume in five months. Maybe I’ll hire a career counselor in four months to help rewrite the resume. So starting next month, I can start putting some money aside for that career coach…” And all of a sudden you’ve got something you can do right now to help plan for the future. It’s More In Your Hands Than You Think When you want to quit but can’t, it’s easy to feel stuck. But even if you can’t make the final move right now, you can set yourself up – both emotionally and tactically – so you’ll be ready to move on and be successful as soon as possible. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Shep Hyken
I was recently asked what three traits I think are most important for someone in customer service to have. I’d like to broaden the topic to anyone dealing with someone else’s problem or question, be it a customer or another person inside the organization, also known as an inside customer. My response to the question was quick:
This is the ability to move on and put anything negative that happened in the most recent interaction with a customer behind you – especially if it was negative or contentious. This isn’t easy. I recently interviewed Eric Williams, the chief marketing officer at CallMiner, who said that it could take a professional customer support agent up to 40 minutes to bounce back after a call in which the customer may have been angry, used foul language or even made derogatory comments or racial slurs. Forty minutes seems like a long time, and I’m not disagreeing, but even if it was just four minutes, that means that the next customer is going to get the “fallout” from the previous call. Is this support agent going to be less amazing because of a negative or contentious previous call? I believe that the best agents move on. They put a negative call behind them. The next customer – or customers – never know if the agent just had a bad call, let alone a bad day. That brings us to the goldfish. I was watching the TV series Ted Lasso, which is about a professional soccer team that gets a new coach who has never played soccer before. He admits to that the first time he meets with the team. He also tells them that he doesn’t have to play soccer to be a good coach. One of his coachable moments came after a member of his team made a really bad play. He talked about the happiest animal in the world. Actually, it was a fish: a goldfish. The reason why? Because its memory lasts 10 seconds. My research claims as short as three seconds, but that’s not the point. Coach Lasso’s advice to his player after that bad play was to be a goldfish. In other words, put it behind you and move on. That’s what resilience is. You don’t have to have a short memory, but you have to be able and willing to put negative emotions behind you and move on. That’s what the best do in customer service, on the athletic field, and for that matter, in life. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Kristin Baird
When I think about employee engagement, I picture a continuum that, going left to right increases in adherence capability. Imagine you have lined up the following, left to right: A paper clip A sticky note A strip of Velcro A bottle of super glue LEVELS OF STICKYNESS Each one of these represent a team member’s level of engagement. The paperclip has the least commitment to the team, the job duties, and the organization. A small gust of wind (an irritation or shinier object) would send him flying off in any direction. This is your disengaged person. The sticky note can be affixed but easily peeled. These are the somewhat engaged employees. They are inconsistent in their engagement. One day they’re firmly engaged with the team and the organization, but when things go wrong or when they’re working with a paper clip (disengaged person) they can easily move in that direction on the continuum. Then we have the Velcro. Pretty solid adherence in the right location. They do a good job of staying the course of engagement, and overall perform the job well. These are your engaged employees. You can count on them to do the job consistently. And finally comes the superglue. These are your fully engaged team members that are rock-solid and have the greatest holding power. They show real ownership and commitment. They serve the organization, the team and the mission with a passion. Look around your team and ask yourself if you have paper clips and sticky notes among your Velcro and Superglue. They could be weakening the strength of the team and performance outcomes. Coaching is the key to filling your team with Velcro and Superglue, but the techniques vary by level of engagement. Leaders must learn how to spot and coach differently at each level of engagement to make your team as sticky as possible. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
It's been a tough year. Many of us turn to food to soothe our spirits. Specifically, calorie laden, fat, sugar, salt and carbo heavy foods. These gut bombs give us momentary solace and then upset our stomachs, pack on the pounds and generally makes us sorry we ate them later. It’s natural to search for relief from stress in small and big ways. How do we ease the tension and anxiety without making ourselves feel worse? Food seems to be a natural. And it can be if we adjust our behavior and the ingredients in our comfort foods, giving our physical, sentimental and emotional selves, relief while nurturing our bodies with nutrients. It’s doable when you keep a few points in mind. 1. Pause before you reach. Impulse buying and eating of fast foods, takeaways, salted and high fat/sugar snacks and heavy use of ready-made sauces and mixes in cooking is closely correlated to when a person is stressed, feeling pressured and/or hungry. The National Institute of Health has shown that we do not make the best decisions when we are preoccupied, tense or famished. Recognizing this, pause what you are doing when you sense rising anxiety, frustration or hunger. Take the time to do what you need to destress, breathe deeply, center yourself, and/or find some nourishing snacks (nuts, a smoothie, fruit, cut up vegetables, hummus etc.) to replenish yourself before the urge to grab the unhealthy food takes over. Sharing food and ideas of what’s delcious and nutritious helps you support each other. 2. Make friends with your food. When we eat mindlessly, we tend to overeat and also not really taste what we are eating. Savor your food as you would a friend or something precious. How shiny is that apple, how well-made is your sandwich, and colorful is the salad? What about the texture when you bite into it? The taste and mouth feel? When you eat consciously you enjoy what you are eating, and your body has a chance to register nourishment is entering your system. You will feel satiated sooner and will be ready to stop before you are over full. 3. Switch out negatives. As we do in other aspects of our lives, learn how to replace the negative with something good for you; switch out nutritionally unhealthy ingredients with nutrient dense ones. We can still have fries, burgers and desserts when we exchange the unhealthy ones with better ones for our health. Air fries, plant-based burgers, naturally sweetened desserts with no hydrogenated oils etc. are delicious and nutritionally superior. 4. Taste and savor. Or avoid completely. If you have a food craving for something that you know is not beneficial for your wellbeing, enjoy small amounts. Relish to the full the tastes and memories the food brings up for you. Then push it away after a small taste. Acknowledge that you indulged in the nostalgic pleasures of eating memories and now you are satisfied and back in the present. For some, it is easier to never purchase or approach the unhealthy food(s) again. Completely eliminating certain item(s) is often simpler than trying to regulate the quantity consumed. You know your personality, choose the option that suits you. 5. Move your body. The next time you want to reach for some unhealthy food, move your body instead. Stretch, do jumping jacks, go for a walk, dance, sing…. When you give your body new interesting input, the desire to appease that food craving will lessen and it may go away for the while. Have healthy easy to snack on foods available so that you can easily satisfy any genuine hunger and nourishment needs. Create fun, special and memorable occasions with your friends and family cooking and sharing healthy food together. 6. Create new food memories. Develop new experiences with healthy food. Explore and create new dishes and snacks that are delicious and healthy. Share and cultivate interest in food and recipes with family, new and old friends who like healthy foods. Make friends and new memories by creating new recipes, rituals and bonding over nutritious food. 7. Be kind to yourself. When you are under stress you are vulnerable to making less than the best food choices, give yourself some grace. Recognize that the strain is weighing on you and you have strayed from choosing the best way to nourish yourself. Stop the behavior and use the experience to help you refrain from repeating less wise choice again. After a few times you may notice that you catch yourself sooner and the healthy choice becomes easier. Give yourself credit for each improvement you make. You are learning new skills and forming new habits. It takes time. Most of all, many studies show that eating well is nourishing you and providing you with the nutrients that help balance your hormones and moods. The highs and lows that come from eating sugar and fat laden junk foods are gone. Your mood swings and depression will be moderated, and you may find that you are enjoying your new habits more and more! Share your interest and enthusiasm with others, you could become the new food expert! Experiment and create, you may find that you have a knack for making food good and good for you! Happy eating. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Vicki Hess
I saw a group of kids at a day camp a couple of years ago when I was swimming in the Intracoastal waterway. It reminded me of my Girl Scout summer camp days in north Georgia. We would play & swim in Lake Altoona. Every now and then, the lifeguard would blow a whistle and yell “BUDDY CHECK”. We had to find our buddy, hold hands in the air and count off. This was the camp’s way of making sure we were all accounted for. Now seems like a great time to institute Buddy Checks at work. Here’s how that could work. 1. Randomly draw names to pair up everyone on your team. 2. Let everyone know who their partner is. 3. Decide on a timeframe for the Buddy Check (weekly, every other week, etc). 4. Announce the Buddy Check (this can be virtual or in-person). 5. Everyone reaches out to his or her buddy to check-in. 6. You can have a few prescribed questions to get started.
I hope you find time to connect with your buddies at work. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Amy Dee
Years ago, I worked as a nurse in a behavioral health hospital. One day we had an unfortunate incident. My co-workers took the adolescents to our gym. As always, the kids were warned to avoid hitting the celling. Above all, we were concerned they’d hit the sprinkler system. Certainly, most kids followed the rules. Unfortunately, one day an angry teen intentionally smacked the sprinkler. Consequently, the sprinkler went off, and the gym was flooded. The flooding caused considerable damage. Meanwhile, one of our managers stormed onto our unit. Unbelievably, she announced “The gym has $10,000 dollars of damage, so no raises this year!” Subsequently, her outburst caused an adverse reaction from my co-workers. First, they didn’t want to lose their raise. Second, they thought this was unbelievably unfair. She immediately apologized for her comment, but it was too late. The damage was done. Chatter about her comment went on for weeks. This manager allowed emotions to hijack her thinking. Understanding and strengthening her emotional intelligence may have helped. Emotional intelligence is a set of emotional and social skills that combine to establish how good you are at:
Explaining Emotional Intelligence In short, EQ is how you blend your thinking with your feelings. It helps you make the right decisions, and build authentic relationships. Of course, many factors predict performance, development potential, and success in life. However, emotional intelligence is a critical factor in these areas. You can developed, improved, and change your EQ over time. Studies estimate that EQ accounts for between 27% to 45% of job success. Although EQ is often linked with management training and skills, everyone needs it. Three tips to increase your emotional intelligence 1. Take Responsibility for Your Feelings and Behavior No one can make you feel or act. You are responsible for your emotions and behavior. Accepting responsibility for how you feel and behave will positively impact other parts of your life. 2. Choose to respond rather than react Reacting is an unconscious action. First, we experience an emotional trigger. Next, we act quickly without thinking to express or relieve the negative emotion we are feeling. On the other hand, responding is a conscious process. To clarify, you take time to acknowledge the emotion, then choose how to behave. 3. Learn to empathize with yourself and others Above all, empathy requires you to understand why someone feels or acts in a particular way. In addition, it requires you to explain your understanding. Certainly, we need self-empathy as much as everyone else. Strengthening your empathy comes with practice. It will also improve your EI. First, begin by practicing on yourself. To clarify, notice your feelings and behavior, ask yourself, “Why do I feel or act this way?” Eventually, your self-awareness and self-control will increase. Be patient with yourself. EI isn’t one and done. Therefore, you must continue to practice. As a result, you keep improving over a lifetime. Every situation is different. You’ll need practice to hone this skill. It is worth it. You will reap a lifetime of benefits. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
We're witnessing a season with profound public tensions. In the midst of headlines, stories, agendas and debates that are often propelled forward on emotion, it’s never been more important to have clear, researched thoughts on how your vote will make the impact you hope to see in your country and our world. And in a season of snap judgments, when lines are being drawn separating us from one another, it’s equally as important to invest the time to get to know another human being, to understand their opinion and how they came to it. Too often we cross our arms, close our minds, cast our judgments and our votes while arrogantly assuming that not only are we the ones uniquely privileged with wisdom, but those we don’t agree with are simply cursed with abject ignorance. I’ve discovered, however, when actually investing time to learn more about a subject or open myself up to authentically connect with another, how often my assumptions have been wrong. This is why you give people the benefit of the doubt. Several years ago, I delivered a three-hour workshop on growing top-line revenue and bottom-line profitability by pivoting our mindsets from trapped in adversity into embracing limitless possibility. There were eighty business owners in the room. 79 were actively participating. As I spoke, my eyes and attention turned toward him. The one person not engaged. My judgment started painting him for what I knew he was. He was sitting in the back row. (Figures, he probably didn’t even want to be there). He had the audacity to read the paper the entire time. (Shocking, surprised he could even read!) Not once did he look up, participate or take notes and he was the first to leave when the session ended. (Not surprised. Probably went back to his hotel room to watch Showtime.) I assumed I knew everything about this man. But my friends, our assumptions say far more about us than they do about the person we are judging. During a season when many of us are lined up with those who look and act and worship and vote just like we do, staring across the aisle repulsed by the others who look, act, worship and vote differently than we do, it’s important we read that again: Our assumptions of others say far more about us than they do about the person or group of people we are judging. After the hugs and handshakes and exchanging of business cards, I made my way toward the elevator. In the hallway, waiting for the elevator to arrive, stood one person. There were 80 business owners that day, meeting planners, sponsors, and staff… and somehow the one guy I have to take the elevator with was him. I looked down, still slighted, and prepared to walk past. “Excuse me, John. Do you have a minute?” This is why we should question our assumptions. Andrew told me the morning session had been difficult for him. He shared that his younger brother had been involved in a car accident. The car flipped, his brother was trapped inside, conscious, alert, speaking, but unable to get out. Although there were others attempting to free him, there was nothing anyone could do when the car exploded into flames. The first anniversary of his death was tomorrow. Before parting ways, he thanked me for fighting through my pain, speaking to organizations, and reminding others that there is always reason for hope. He shared that he had been incredibly discouraged lately and it was a message he desperately needed and was excited to share with his entire family. With tears streaming down his face, he gave me a hug. A moment earlier I judged Andrew as being aloof, indifferent, disengaged and generally just a bad guy. After we parted ways, I knew him to be personable, considerate, suffering and just trying to get through a very difficult day. Getting to know him and hear his story changed my perspective entirely. It’s a dramatic reminder that our assumptions say far more about us than they do about the person or group of people we might be judging. So, my friends, who are you judging today? Political divides are human-made; have a meaningful conversation. What political party are you sure is wrong? What group of people do you consider idiots? Which individual can you just not stand? As long as we continue to live separately and only spend time with people who think as we do, live how we live, vote how we vote: We will remain filled with judgments, anger, evaluations, and condemnations. We will continue to see them as less than and unworthy. True courage is seldom revealed standing with people who already agree with you. Sometimes true courage is as simple and as difficult as challenging your assumptions. They are, after all, your windows on the world. And if you don’t scrub them off every once in a while, the light won’t be able come in. In a darkened marketplace with so much negativity and certainty of opinion, maybe living with a little more humility and acting a little less on assumptions will provide some desperately needed light. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By LeAnn Thieman. This was originally published on LeAnn's blog.
More young nurses are opting to obtain advanced degrees, which will help fill gaps in primary care. But it will also take them away from the patient’s bedside. Nearly 50% of millennial nurses (ages 19-36), 35% of those in Generation X (ages 37-53), and 12% of baby boomers (ages 54-71) plan to become advanced-practice nurses, according to AMN Healthcare, a healthcare staffing agency that polled nearly 3,400 nurses in April 2017. They are predominantly aiming to become nurse practitioners, who generally have more autonomy and are well-suited to take on less acute cases and fill care gaps left by the shortage of primary-care physicians. But there is also a lack of registered nurses, and this education trend could exacerbate the current shortage. Seven states are projected to have RN shortages persist through 2030 as the aging population and need for chronic disease management will drive demand, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Nurse practitioner is one of the fastest-growing occupations in the United States, in part because it offers independence, a challenging work environment and educational progress. When organizations help nurses earn those higher degrees, they often leave for higher-paying jobs. Seventeen percent of millennial RNs plan to look for a new nursing job while the economy is improving, compared to 15% of Gen Xers and 10% of baby boomers, according to the AMN survey. Ten percent of millennials said they would pursue travel nursing, while only 6% of Gen Xers and 5% of boomers agreed. More than a third of millennials seek a leadership role, compared to 27% of Gen Xers and 10% of boomers. To learn how to increase recruitment and retention, visit SelfCare for HealthCare™. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! |
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