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By LeAnn Thieman. This was originally published on LeAnn's blog.
Reality TV shows and professional organizers attest to the amount of clutter we cram into our lives. My basement is living proof that we are accumulators. Just like my basement, our minds can become cluttered too. Mind debris gets in the way of our productivity and even our joy. You know it may be time for a brain clearing when your mind feels sluggish, you have stress overload, or you just want to numb out by staring at a TV or video screen. You can prevent the accumulation of brain garbage by setting up some filters. By screening incoming data, you can stop the insidious trash before it clutters things up. You can filter out gossip, negative political ads, stinkin’-thinkin’ conversations, and too much negative world news. Outmoded ideas, harmful thoughts, and negative feelings can be weeded out too, before they take root. Periodically, take time to sit quietly and focus within. Identify which thoughts are useful and supportive, and which are negative and a nuisance. Singer Jimmy Buffet recommends “mental floss.” Imagine your mind like your home, filled with rooms that have become cluttered. Prepare for spring cleaning. Visualize entering each room with a bucket of scrubbing supplies. Some rooms may hold thoughts and emotions; others memories; still other beliefs, attitudes and opinions. There may be a separate room for relationships. Imagine sorting which of these are good, from those that are no longer good for you. See yourself tossing out the worn and unwanted ones, and happily storing those you wish to keep. Finally, open the windows to let in fresh air and sunlight. Let this clean, bright feeling refresh you. Think how great it will be now with your new filters in place! You’ll prevent the mental garbage from accumulating and healthier happier thoughts will fill your mind. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success!
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By Josh Linkner
In these competitive and uncertain times, most of us long for that bold, fresh idea that will shake things up and drive meaningful progress. Yet great new ideas can feel harder to find than a five-leaf clover. We stare at the same problem – with the same set of eyes and the same perspective – and then wonder why our ideas fall short. To shake things up, I love using a simple technique that I simply call The Different Lens. As the name suggests, the tactic involves generating solutions from the perspective of someone else. Let’s say you’re a Realtor trying to drum up new clients. It’s a crowded and competitive field, so your first instinct may be to study the best practices of other Realtors. The problem is that we can get caught in our industry’s echo-chamber, with originality suffering as a result. Using The Different Lens, you might ask how a Hollywood agent might solve the problem? How about a hotel manager? Or a tech billionaire? The best new way to snag homebuyers may actually arrive from the most unlikely perspective. If you’re looking for fresh inspiration, think how other people in different fields or roles might approach the situation. Here are some fun ones to take for a test drive:
The notion of looking at the problem you’re trying to solve from a different lens can quickly unlock fresh thinking and bold creativity. Not to mention, it gives you a hall pass for any responsibility. After all, that crazy idea didn’t come from YOU… it came from a celebrity chef with an Eastern European accent. Next time you’re frustrated with ho-hum ideas, get unstuck by looking at the situation with a different lens. You’ll be blown away at just how different your results will be. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Vicki Hess
Is there anything you can do if you’re feeling numb; exhausted; angry; disconnected; afraid (feel free to fill in how you’re feeling)? YES – It’s time to SHIFT! Stop and breathe Almost all solutions start with this step. If you don’t stop and consciously take a breath, your sympathetic nervous system takes over and your cognitive thinking skills decrease. When things get tough, you want your brain to work at an optimal state. Take another deep breath for good measure. Harness Your Knee Jerk Reactions It’s easy to start complaining, yelling, withdrawing or feeling even more of what you were feeling to begin with. These reactions take you down a path to a darker, scarier place. They aren’t helpful. They usually lead us away from feeling better. They layer on the angst. Identify and manage your emotions Where are you feeling the ache, the pain, the sadness, the anxiety? Name it. Touch it. Think about it. Now breathe into that spot. Keep moving outward and relax all the muscles in your body. Relax so much that you feel like a wet noodle. It’s impossible to be in a panic state when your body is fully relaxed. When you practice this frequently, you can do it in front of others, even in the middle of working. It’s an amazing skill to cultivate. Find new solutions Focus on WC2 – “What Can We Control?” Put on your powerful WC2 decoder ring and only focus on things that you can do something about. Take your energy away from all that is BIG and SCARY and UNKNOWN. Direct your thoughts toward little things that YOU CAN DO NOW to ease your mind, your body and your soul. Take One Positive Action Make it count. Do you need a nap? A shoulder to cry on? Professional counseling or therapy? Maybe you need a chocolate chip cookie or a phone call to a beloved family member. Do you need a walk? A run? A yoga class? A good book? A mindless movie or TV show? Your favorite song? Do something nice for yourself. It doesn’t have to take long – it just takes action. Depending on your job, you might be facing the most challenging days of your life, caring for people in an environment that is more unknown and upsetting than ever. You might also be facing time alone at home, furloughed from your job, missing the daily hum of work and worrying about the future. Regardless of where you are on the continuum and how you feel, all is not lost. You can SHIFT toward your own Professional Paradise…even in a pandemic. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
As a child growing up in South Africa, Arun was bullied, harassed, and beaten up for being dark, and also tormented, pushed around, and thrashed for being not dark enough. He became suspicious, bitter and filled with rage. Fearing for his future, his parents sent him to India to live with his grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi. Arun learned about peace and service, and he found his life purpose, happiness ensued. Arun Gandhi is one of the six happy, diverse, and accomplished people, who run global multi-million-dollar companies to leaders of national nonprofits, I interviewed for my Happiness and Meaning of Life series. Happiness and the meaning of life, these are universally important to everyone. Yet people often miss the mark in finding the very things that they are looking for. The “shoulds” and “must haves” in our heads, subtly and incessantly infiltrated and embedded there by well-meaning people, the relentless marketing from media, and pressure from social networks, drive our thinking and actions imperceptibly and ongoingly. The leaders I interviewed, shared their personal stories, their “ah ha” moments, and how they found their way to living their life purpose, in joy, inner peace and their personal version of success. Arun Gandhi, humanitarian & grandson of Mahatma Gandhi went from an angry young man in S Africa to a lifelong “peace farmer” and activist residing in the US. Hyepin Im, founder & president of FACE, transformed from a Venture Capitalist to becoming a minister, and forming her nonprofit. Howard Schiffer, founder & president of Vitamin Angels, formerly a natural products industry executive, spent five years founding Vitamin Angels from his bedroom while working full time. Linda Akutagawa, CEO of LEAP, volunteered at the organization in between jobs and stayed on to eventually leading the organization. Sandra Yancey, founder & CEO of eWomenNetwork, didn’t have any idea she wanted to create her company until she turned 40. Bill Shireman, founder, CEO & president of Future 500, spends his life joyfully where most people would be quite uncomfortable, working to get polar opposites in politics and the environment to collaborate. These people are living the lives they were born to live. Happily, gainfully and with a peaceful heart. Listening to their stories, I found underlying principles and tools that led them to where they are living in alignment with why they were born. Here are the five key points. Six inspiring leaders, sharing how they found their path to happiness and meaning of life, and I got to record all their stories and insights! 1. Happiness is a choice In the darkest and most confusing of times, we can still find a reason for being and for gratitude. Each leader had their own version of awakening, where they found inner peace in their life circumstances. They identified reasons to give thanks in the midst of apparent disorder. By appreciating something about your current situation, the negativity, worries and even outside conditions, change to bring you more happiness.Linda Akutagawa was in between jobs; she was unsure of her next steps. Instead of worrying about her future, she volunteered at LEAP, Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics because she thought she could help others gain training and skills to advance in their careers. LEAP’s mission to support and train Asian and Pacific Islanders (APIs) in leadership, empowerment, and policy for full participation and equality resonated with her. Decades later Linda is still at LEAP, now as CEO. Her choice to help make others happier enabled her to be joyfully doing what she loves every day. 2. Find your life purpose and follow it Each one has a reason for being. Find yours and live it. How? Go inside and listen to your inner wisdom. Align your passion, gifts and calling to achieve happiness and inner peace. Howard Schiffer was a successful executive in the natural products industry, but inside he was uneasy. The question of what would be written on his tombstone nagged at him. “He sold a lot of products”, didn’t seem to be meaningful enough. It took him five years of being open and actively working on how he can make a bigger difference for him to birth the nonprofit, Vitamin Angels Vitamin Angels educates and supplies nutritional supplements to 70 million underprivileged children and mothers in over 65 countries a year. Howard is now comfortable with what is going to be etched on his grave stone. 3. You have the capability to achieve your life purpose, work on your abilities to make it real. Your dreams are achievable. Get the training, develop the skills, and make the connections needed to follow your meaning of life. Hyepin Im graduated from UC Berkeley in finance and became an auditor and VC, but neither fit with her life purpose. She enrolled in Ministerial school, and then founded her nonprofit, Faith And Community Empowerment (FACE) to empower faith community leaders to better serve underserved communities. FACE trains faith leaders, educates underserved communities, and provides advocacy so that the voiceless may have a voice. She is now aligned and fulfilled. 4. Helping others is good for you Service to others is the way to personal fulfillment. When you support others in their growth and life journey, you are also lifted, often in more ways than you can even imagine. Sandra Yancey’s father died when she was five years old. Her mother alone with three young children went on welfare to survive. Sandra remembers how others helped them when they were in dire straits. Her gratitude inspired her to develop a company dedicated to providing a mutual support business network for women entrepreneurs. She and her multi-million dollars global company, eWomenNetwork is thriving by doing good for others. 5. Your legacy lies in how you made a difference in other people’s lives What you leave behind when you depart the planet is the good you did for others. Contribute your talents, time, and resources to improving your community. Feed, educate, entertain, support, and heal others, plant trees, and/or green the earth. There are numerous ways for you to combine your interests, abilities, and time to create a more harmonious, healthy, and happy world. Young Arun Gandhi in S Africa was not thinking about his legacy. He was worried about his personal safety and life each time he went out. He was harassed regularly for his skin color by both the blacks and the whites. He was “not good enough” for either side to accept. His grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi showed him that there is a greater calling and way to live. He taught him that each person has been given unique skills, and talents and they are on loan for you to give back to the world. Arun transformed his anger and determination to learning how non-violence is more powerful than fists and guns. He has since devoted his life to teaching, speaking and promoting peace and harmony. He is happy and fulfilled now. Have you found your meaning of life? Are you happy? Asking these questions are a step in developing the path to fulfilling these vital life questions. You are connected to the greater whole and your thoughts and actions can positively influence the overall direction. Understanding this key fact has shown to be powerful motivation for people to persist and overcome challenges to greater emotional and life rewards. This is even true for young people who are discovering their reason for being. For me, interviewing these inspiring leaders and absorbing their wisdom have made me even more committed to living my life purpose of making a positive difference. May your life be similarly enhanced. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Kristin Baird
A few years ago, I was coaching a hospital CEO who said, “I know culture is important but honestly I hate talking about it. Culture is an ethereal term. Nobody really can really lay their hands on it.” He quickly changed his view when I defined culture as, “How we really do things around here,” and went on to give examples from his own organization. He was complaining about poor patient satisfaction scores. I reminded him that several times when we pointed out rude behavior from staff, we were met with comments like, “That’s just Mary.” If leaders accept bad behavior, they will continue fostering a culture of bad behavior. When he spoke with the ER director about the rising number of disgruntled patients, the director explained, “We’re really busy.” The CEO readily accepted this rationale. I pointed out that theirs was a culture of excuses and was one of the primary reasons they were struggling. He cringed at this but realized it was true. What you permit, you promote. By helping him see that they had fallen into habits of accepting excuses, they were fostering a culture that was far from quality and their value of excellence. He made a conscious effort to shift from an excuse culture to one of accountability. ACCOUNTABILITY IS KEY Aligning your culture with your stated mission, vision, and values won’t happen the moment you solidify the statements. It takes conscious effort to align behaviors. The first step is in determining what you want the culture to be, then helping everyone to take ownership in consistent delivery. While this concept is simple, making it a reality isn’t easy. It takes time and commitment but is well worth the energy. Clarify the vision and hold everyone accountable. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Ron Culberson. With a master’s degree in social work, Ron Culberson spent the first part of his career working in a large hospice organization as a clinical social worker, middle manager, and senior leader. As a speaker, humorist, and author of "Do it Well. Make it Fun.The Key to Success in Life, Death, and Almost Everything in Between", he has delivered more than 1,000 presentations to associations, government agencies, non-profit organizations, and corporations. His mission is to change the workplace culture so that organizations are more productive and staff are more content. He was also the 2012-2013 president of the National Speakers Association and is a recognized expert on the benefits of humor and laughter.
When I was a kid, I remember riding in the car with my dad when we came upon an accident. A pickup truck had stalled on the railroad tracks as a train was approaching. Luckily the driver got out before the train hit the truck. Unfortunately, however, a dog had been chasing the truck and was killed by the train. I’ll never forget how bad I felt for the dog and thinking that if the dog had focused on the train instead of the truck, it might have survived. When I started my social work career in 1986, I worked for a large hospice organization in Northern Virginia. One of the greatest lessons I learned from my patients was also about focus. The insight came from the people who said, “I wish I’d done this a few years ago” or “I should have done that when I was younger” or “Why didn’t I retire earlier?” These patients had come to the conclusion that they had not set their priorities properly and that perhaps, their focus had been on the wrong things. Additionally, they knew that as they approached the end of their lives, they were unable to do much about it. When we’re young, most of us think we know how our lives will play out. Some of us might even have a specific plan with goals we want to achieve. And yet, as we get older and gain the gift of hindsight, we realize that we may not have ended up where we thought we would. Early in my speaking career, I attended a conference of the National Speakers Association and was talking with my friend and colleague Carl Hammerchlag. Carl is a talented speaker and brilliant psychiatrist. At one point during the conversation, I asked him, “How do I know if I’m where I’m supposed to be at any particular point in my life?” Without missing a beat, Carl said, “If you’re always worried about where you should be, you’ll never be.” At the time, I wanted a more concrete answer. I was looking for a tool, like a tape measure, that would show me how much I had veered off my path. Or perhaps, I thought, there was a mathematical formula I could employ which would calculate if my x+y had not equaled z. But the idea that I should “just be” seemed, well, kinda nuts. I couldn’t wrap my simple-minded brain around the concept. In time, though, I started hearing comments like this with a different perspective. I realized that his suggestion was about being true to the moment rather than focusing on some ideal that may or may not be appropriate for me. He actually gave me a true gift that day and I’ll be forever grateful. One of my favorite books is by Jon Kabat-Zinn and it’s called, Wherever You Go, There You Are. It’s a book about mindfulness and as the title suggests, we really are always where we should be—the word “should,” by the way, does not suggest a judgment but instead, a simple acknowledgement of what is. So, if we assume that we are where we’re supposed to be at any point in our lives, then what can we do to make the most of those moments? I think it boils down to two critical pursuits: deepening our relationships and serving others. Let me explain. When I look back on the vast majority of hospice patients I visited, the conversations focused primarily on the people in their lives. Many times, they discussed the relationships that were most important to them. Sometimes, they talked about a challenging relationship that needed to be mended. And occasionally, they focused on a severely damaged relationship that could never be healed. The people were a key element in these patients’ journeys and even though they enjoyed other important experiences, the emphasis kept returning to the relationships. That taught me the value of the connections in our lives and how we need to enrich them whenever possible. Beyond the need for nurturing our relationships, I believe we also need to serve. When we serve, we get out of our self-centeredness and pursue an other-centered activity. When I worked as a social worker, I regularly encountered people who were in situations far less fortunate than mine. However, when I transitioned to my speaking career, I spent most of my time in hotels, airports, and conference centers. I no longer encountered the same types of people and I felt that I had lost a personal connection to the disadvantaged individuals I had known in my social work role. As I got older, I realized what I was missing and decided to find a way to not only recapture my role of serving others but to understand, in a more direct way, their needs. Today, I am a volunteer ambulance driver and I cut wood for those without heat. As a result, I regularly come in contact with people who may struggle to pay bills, to put food on their tables, or to address their healthcare needs. I am so grateful for this newfound, yet familiar, opportunity to build relationships and to serve. We live in a culture where power and celebrity are revered. This misdirection of priorities can entice us to pursue fame and fortune rather than human connection. During this home-bounded-ness time of the Coronavirus, we’ve seen many examples of the need for human connection. Additionally, we’ve become more appreciative of those who are taking serious risks to serve others. Ultimately, I believe life is all about other people— to deepen relationships and to serve those in need. When we do this, from wherever we are at the time, we will be exactly where we are supposed to be. And then, when we get to the end of our lives, we will be able to look back with both satisfaction and gratitude. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
“Were you born stupid? Or have you just become stupid over time?” As a 20-year old college finance major, I had an amazing opportunity to work at a world-class financial service firm. Although at that age, my ability to balance my personal checking account was in serious question, this organization placed me in a position to support their most successful financial advisers. Truth be told, the majority of my job consisted of making copies, printing spreadsheets and assembling mailing packets. On the few occasions my phone actually rang, I’d answer excitedly only to be greeted by the voice of college friends pranking me or my mother asking how the day was going. There was, however, one unforgettable phone call. As the phone rang, I cleared my throat and answered in my most professional voice, “Managed Products, this is John O’Leary. How may I help you?” A deep, grumpy voiced barked back into the line, “Good, John, I got you. Have a question for you: Were you born stupid? Or have you just become stupid over time?” Startled, I looked at the phone to make sure it wasn’t a number from a college friend. Seeing it was coming from our office in Chicago, I responded, “I’m sorry. Excuse me?” This manager’s advice after his employee received a cutting insult is something we all need to hear. To which the successful advisor replied sarcastically, “Oh no, I am the one who is sorry. I forgot who I called. Let me slow this question down for you: Were. You. Born. Stupid? Or. Have. You. Just. Become. Stupid. Over. Time?” There was a long pause before he added, “Did I slow it down enough for you?” Without going into the details, the cause of the problem this man had wasn’t actually me, or even our department. It was a filing issue elsewhere that kept him from closing a contract. And it was an issue easily remedied. Although the conversation rattled me as an intern, the reason I am rehashing the story is less about my hurt feelings or someone’s assessment of my intelligence, and much more about my manager’s response and what it means for all of us today. As a leader, Don Embree was quiet and humble, but also fierce and resolute. He became highly successful professionally by investing himself fully into his team. Whereas we have many examples of leaders today who quickly blame others for mistakes while earnestly taking credit for successes, Don worked in the opposite manner. His wisdom imparted that day remains with me 25 years later. “John, never listen to anyone who is only able to tell you what you do poorly. Their hostility toward you is just a reflection of hatred toward themselves. They don’t feel good about themselves, they don’t have strong self-esteem and they most certainly don’t have your best interest in mind.” This is so good. Anger is frequently a reflection of self-loathing. It almost always reveals lack of self-esteem. And those who show it almost never have the best interest of others in mind. It’s a beautiful sentiment but how do we live this each day? The challenge today is two-fold: This is what you should read into others’ attitudes and insults. The first is to recognize when someone belittles you, is negative toward you, or treats you poorly, that their attitude reflects not your self-wroth, but theirs. Too frequently we give our power to someone who doesn’t even have our best interest in mind. Let’s take our power back! The second aspect is even more important. In the divisive, quick-to-anger world we find ourselves navigating today we can choose to be a model that connects, lifts up, and provides hope. Any fool can raise their voice or degrade an idea or another human being. It’s popular, trends on social and is the currency of the day. Truly remarkable leaders and ordinary heroes, however, choose instead to faithfully serve, selflessly strive, continuously encourage, and humbly work to make the world a better place. They have high self esteem and have the best interest of others in mind. My friends, 25 years ago a self-centered individual asked me if I was born stupid or just became that way over time. Today, let’s share a very different message with those we encounter. Let’s ask if they realize they were born enough. Let’s ask if they’re embracing the wonderful opportunity to become even more brilliant in time. And let’s begin this conversation with a person probably longing for the reminder: The reflection in the mirror. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Roger Crawford. This was originally published on Roger's blog.
Do you remember a time when you had a challenge to overcome, an important project to complete, or a situation that you had never faced before? Were you unsure where to start? Was it a positive or negative experience for you? How did you feel about the results? What I’ve found after thirty years of speaking to over 4,000 audiences and coaching hundreds of highly-successful executives and industry experts is…the more positive you think, the better results you get. Take a look at the lives of successful people and you will find a common denominator. They have a positive mindset that allows them to break through obstacles and maintain momentum. Instead of retreating, they lean into their challenges and discover new opportunities less-successful people missed. Those opportunities create a path through obstacles that leads to achievement. A positive mindset that results in success doesn’t mean you overlook challenges. Instead, you lean in and say, “Yes I can” which helps you see circumstances in the most favorable positive light possible. If you choose a negative mindset, you will look for and magnify what is negative around you. You immediately anticipate the worst and start blaming yourself or others for a bad outcome, whether it occurs or not. There’s no opportunity to create a positive result and success. My priceless years of experience show that a positive mindset is essential to perform your best and realize your awesome potential. Here are four key ideas to develop and maintain a positive mindset. If you think with a negative mindset, you will look for and magnify what is negative around you. You immediately anticipate the worst and start blaming yourself for a bad outcome, whether it occurs or not. Your Mindset Matters! A positive mindset is essential to perform at your best and realize your awesome potential. Here are four ideas to help you develop and maintain a positive mindset. #1 Manage Your Mouth The language you use has a tremendous influence over your mindset. What you say affects how you feel; how you feel determines how you act; and how you act either increases or decreases results. Choose your words carefully because what you say impacts whether you’re crushed by, or conquer your circumstances. Positive words make you strong; and negative words make you weak. It’s important to make a habit of using words that accurately reflect your reality. This way you won’t turn a molehill into a mountain. In other words, don’t exaggerate the situation. How many times have you heard someone say something like this? “It’s a disaster!” Think again. Maybe it’s actually an inconvenience. “It’s impossible!” Is that a fact or an opinion? The important point is that using language that mistakenly depicts our circumstances is a clear path to excuse making. Failure to take responsibility leads to an inability to find solutions. When you have negative thoughts, strive to reframe your thinking in a more positive way. Instead of saying, “I am a failure,” try a more positive and accurate representation. “I failed this time, but what I learned will help me succeed in the future.” #2 You Have the Control People that have a consistently negative mindset have likely forgotten that they have control over their thoughts. They let challenges, other people, or even the weather determine how they think. Would you agree that we live life from the inside out? The thoughts and beliefs you have inside shape what you see on the outside, not the other way around. One of the most important principles of maintaining a positive mindset is understanding that while you may not control your circumstances, you do control how you respond to your circumstances. Remember, you are the boss of your brain! #3 Have a Grateful Mindset People with a positive mindset resist dwelling on their disadvantages and appreciate what they do have. A grateful mindset is not automatic… it’s intentional. So, instead of waiting for something to make you feel grateful, deliberately look for the blessings you already possess. Being grateful doesn’t eliminate problems. However, by focusing on what’s good about your life helps remove bitterness and negativity. New York Times best-selling author Lewis Howes says, “If you concentrate on what you have, you’ll always have more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.” #4 Release Setbacks – Rehearse Success The next time you experience a loss, turn it into a lesson, and then let it go. Someone with a negative mindset spends time living in the past, dwelling on previous problems, and continually asks “why.” They ask themselves, “Why did it happen?” “Why me?” or “Why not someone else?” On the other hand, someone with a positive mindset is present focused, learns from their past circumstances, and then asks “how.” They ask, “How can I learn from this?” and “How do I move forward?” A positive mindset can take you from where you are to where you want to be. A negative mindset will stop you from even trying. The ability to develop and maintain a positive mindset is always within your reach, and I’ve given you four keys to help you. Lean into the opportunity to discover the tremendous potential you have and experience the great things you are capable of. Believe that success is possible, develop a winning mindset, achieve more, and become more of who you are meant to be! Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Donna Cardillo
March is National Multiple Sclerosis Education and Awareness Month. Twenty-six years ago, my husband was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Twenty-six years ago, I became a family caregiver; and, more specifically (in my case), a spousal caregiver. I didn’t even realize that I was a family caregiver at that time because I always envisioned family caregivers as people who had to dress and feed the person for whom they cared. My husband didn’t need any of that. As time went on, I started to become very overwhelmed and bordering on burnout. I started to do some research online, and I found several wonderful websites that cater to family caregivers. As I began to read about what family caregiving is all about, I realized that I do all of those things—and more! I truly am a family caregiver. Caregiving is not just physically caring for someone with bathing, dressing, or eating. It’s also medication management, spending time on the phone with insurance companies and medical offices, and providing emotional support for the person for whom you care for. Family members, neighbors, and friends very often don’t want to ask the person who’s ill or disabled how they’re doing and get a real answer. Instead, they turn to the caregiver for all of those responses. Once I found relevant information online, I felt so much better just understanding my own experience more. The reason I’m bringing this up in National MS Month is that family caregivers suffer in silence. We often go unrecognized, even by ourselves. So, we suffer as a result—with a higher incidence of chronic illness—even a higher incidence of premature death. That point is not to scare you or make you paranoid, it’s just to illustrate the seriousness of the job we take on and why it’s even more important not to try to do it all alone. How vital it is—for us as family caregivers—to take care of ourselves and to also make ourselves a priority just as we do our loved one! Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean going to the spa, although that would be lovely. It does include things like getting help and support through support groups or through counselors—visiting your own healthcare professionals for both physical and mental health issues. Create opportunities to do things like spending time outdoors, working on some hobbies—there are lots of things that you can do on your own for yourself! I became aware of how easy it is to get sucked into the vortex of caregiving, and as a result, lose yourself in the process. Then, if we lose that loved one at some point, we don’t even know who we are anymore, and don’t have much of a life left. I want to tell all family caregivers, whether your loved one has multiple sclerosis or another disability, or you care for elderly people, that you are a vital part of that equation. Taking care of yourself is just as important as eating and sleeping. When people ask if they can help you in any way, we usually say, “No,” or “I don’t know.” Or they say, “What can I do for you?” We don’t even know what to say as a caregiver. So, here’s my best advice for you: The next time someone says, “Can I help you in any way?” Just say, “Yes,” even if you don’t know exactly what you need. Default to “Yes.” Then, if they say, “Oh, great! What can I do?” say, “What do you suggest?” In other words, you’re not even coming up with something yourself, you’re leaving it to them to offer. They might say, “How about I bring dinner over? Or maybe I can come over and sit with your loved one while you spend some time outside?” Say, “Yes! Great!” You have to seek help and support. You can’t operate in isolation. You’re not alone. I want you to know that. In fact, I wrote extensively about my own family caregiver experience in my book Falling Together: How to Find Balance, Joy, and Meaningful Change When Your Life Seems to be Falling Apart. I share my own experiences with readers so that even if they don’t have my exact experience, they can glean lessons learned. Everybody who has read the book—especially the chapter on how caregiving feels—can relate in some way. Whether you are caring for children, elderly parents, or anyone else in your life who depends on you for your ongoing care and support, pick up a copy of that today, and get some additional tips on how to cope and care for yourself. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Amy Dee
Do You Feeling Stressed and Overwhelmed? Emails pour in, a co-worker goes home sick, increasing your work load, the phone won’t stop ringing, and your elderly mom just called with her grocery list. Everyone wants a piece of you at the same time. You feel like growing out your mustache, slapping on some sunglasses, and going missing…just get away from it all. When stressed like this, your life feels off balance. Thoughts pour into your head so fast you can’t sort them out. You begin imaging worst-case scenarios: your co-worker will hate you, you’ll be fired, and your mom with starve to death. Most likely, none of this is true, but your head keeps spinning. Not only that, your breathing gets shallow, causing your heart to start banging. Your muscles tighten. You can’t think straight or stop thinking, so you start beating yourself up with ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda.’ It’s all too much, so you either dig in, to work harder or dig into a pile of nachos with rocky road ice cream to numb out. AARGH! Workplace Humor: Your Built In Stress Buster! Now, here’s the good news! Tucked inside your body is a powerful stress buster. Best of all, you can quickly and easily detonate this weapon by laughing at a funny cat video or chuckling with a co-worker. Laughter shifts your perspective, lowers the heat in stressful moments, and calms your nervous system. It has tons of other benefits, including strengthening your resilience. Humor doesn’t only reduce stress. Laughing with co-workers enhances creativity, improves productivity, boosts morale, and makes you more approachable. As a psychiatric RN in an acute care hospital, I know how much laughter helped me emotionally survive the demands of my very stressful work. There is no doubt that humor helped me cope with the demands of single parenting. Laughing helps me now, sandwiched between the layers of running a business, helping adult kids, and being the sole caretaker of my elderly mother. If Workplace Humor is SO Great, Why Don’t We Laugh More? Unfortunately, despite office humor being an incredible coping tool, too often, our sense of humor flies out the window when we most need it. Today we need it more than ever with the fear of Covid19 and the economy. Adding to the stress are school closings and working from home. Let’s top it all off with the cost of health care and concerns about our jobs. Right now, we are all under more stress than ever. Studies show that those of us still working are putting in longer hours. What’s more, due to Covid19, healthcare, and tech workers have been incredibly stressed during this pandemic. Now, without question, we need to concentrate on what we can control and better handle what we cannot control. Here are a few ways to bring more levity to your work-life. Most important, remember that this is about having fun, not about always being funny. There is no need for a comedy workshop; just decide to bring more playfulness to work. 4 Tips to add Workplace Humor 1. Start a Workplace Humor board As a hospital RN, we had a bulletin board in the break room where co-workers could share funny cartoons or sayings. Laughing together brought us closer as a team. PS The internet has lots of funny things to share, like memes! 2. Poke fun at yourself Don’t beat yourself up, but talk about your little quirks or embarrassing moments. For example, one day I got lots of stares and sniggers while leaving a roadside bathroom. Once back in my car, I realized my skirt was tucked up and inside my underwear, Embarrassing? Yes! Funny? Absolutely! We all have awkward moments. Sharing them with co-workers make you more human and relatable. 3. Find humor, even in serious moments. I am not condoning offensive humor, but seeing the funny side of a situation can rebalance our thoughts and help us find more creative solutions. I worked as a psych RN in an acute care hospital. One day, when an unhappy patient yelled, “You Fat-Old-B#*%H!” I whispered to my co-worker, “Pretty sure he’s talking to you.” Obviously, we didn’t laugh out loud, but it made for some levity at the moment. 4. Bring funny snacks to share Due to Covid 19, I’ll recommend only individual pre-packed items but check with your hospital or company’s guidelines. Consider bringing candies with a double meaning, such as Laffy Taffy or Take 5 during a rough week, to remind your crew to laugh and take breaks when needed. Make puns of candy names or prepackaged snacks like: You’re a Whopper of a co-worker! Snickers: You keep me laughing! Nestle Crunch: You always help out in a crunch! Chips: Thanks for chipping in! Workplace Humor: Shift Your Perspective Look for humor everywhere. Hone your ability to see funniness in everyday life. Share the funny things your kids do. As a toddler, one of my daughters loved the word ‘diarrhea,’ making for some comical moments. Share the goofy antics performed by your cat or dog. Or make fun of a particularly awful morning (overslept, spilled your coffee, stepped in dog doo on the way to your car). Do your parents mistakenly say funny stuff? One of my parents always mispronounced Volvo by changing the letter ‘O’ to the letter ‘U’. Finding humor requires you to actively look for things to laugh about in everyday situations. Even if you don’t consider yourself ‘funny,’ you can still learn to find humor in the little things. Choose to lighten up and stop taking yourself so seriously. Seek out the funny wherever it happens. Most importantly, look for humor no matter what happens. Shifting your perspective to find levity in even serious situations is one of the best ways to cope with difficulties. So, if you are irritated with a co-worker, tired of all the meetings, or lose a sale, learn to poke fun at the situation and your tension will melt away. Once your mood is lightened, you will have more energy to find solutions. Shedding a little laughter on a dark subject can be the ticket to brightening things up. In the end, once you understand how all-powerful laughter is, you’ll want to incorporate lots of workplace humor into every day. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! |
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