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By LeAnn Thieman. This was originally published on LeAnn's blog.
This is one of my favorite stories I’ve read, called The Miracle of Forgiveness: For years, I had been unable to forgive my dad. I blamed him for everything that went wrong in my life. If he hadn’t been so strict, so overbearing, so distant, so volatile, I would have turned out to be a better person. Maybe I would have made better choices as an adult if he had just taken the time to show me he loved me. Eventually I came to realize that Dad was only human, just like I was. I understood that he did the best he could, based on what he knew at the time. I also came to know that as an adult, I could no longer blame anyone but myself for the bad choices I’d made. Once I accepted all of that, the miracle of forgiveness occurred. Privately, I forgave my dad, and eventually myself, for making so many poor choices. I was able to move on with a new resolve in life. With all these thoughts swirling in my head, I sat at Dad’s hospital bedside. He woke and said groggily, “I’m so sorry you have to do this.” He stared into my eyes, as if to penetrate the message. “I’m sorry for a lot of things.” At that moment I realized Dad didn’t know I had forgiven him. “Dad, it’s an honor to take care of you.” As I said those words, it seemed like it was someone else who had been so angry with him just a few years before. Dad looked up heavenward and whispered, “Thank you, God.” Then I knew he had been praying for this miracle of forgiveness for years too. Forgiveness is healing and freeing. Who are you going to forgive? Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success!
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By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
Entering into this advent season we look forward to the joy of the holidays, the gift of Christmas and the promise of a New Year by sharing a reminder of the power of joyful awaiting. Enjoy this short excerpt from my book IN AWE. * * * * * Getting kids to bed can be an exhausting, time-consuming venture. In our house, the journey begins with getting them into—and then out of—a bathtub. From there, the assembly line includes drying them off and getting them to pull on their pajamas, brush their teeth, and comb their hair. There’s a quick straightening of their room, laying out their clothes for the morning, and picking a book to read. Once in bed, we read a book, or sometimes I tell them a funny story, and then we pray together. While I was tucking Henry into bed recently, he attempted to stall the inevitable. After having already read “just one more story” several times, I leaned over, kissed his forehead, stood up, turned off the light, and made my way out of the room. Just a few steps down the hallway, I heard his voice call out, “Dad?” I ignored it, hoping he would fall asleep. Don’t judge. I had three more kids to get to bed and a desire to spend some uninterrupted time with my wife! “Dad?” he called again, even more emphatically. The pull of guilt and an excuse to spend another moment with my little guy sent me back. “What is it, buddy?” He looked up at me. “Dad, how many days until my birthday?” His birthday is December 7. This conversation was taking place the week after Christmas. I wanted to respond, Henry, way too freaking many days to count! Now go to sleep. But instead, I moved further into his room, sat on his bed again, brushed back his hair, and responded, “Great question.” I assumed he’d be pretty disappointed when I added, “Your birthday is about 340 days away.” He looked away for a moment. I could see his little mind doing the math, working it out, thinking it through. He then looked back at me and said, “Awesome. Tomorrow can we make a countdown calendar to get ready for it?” His birthday is more than eleven months away, and this kid wants to get ready for it? My friend, this is the power of joyful awaiting. Kids can’t wait for the next big thing. They are always looking forward to the next holiday, the next weekend, the next vacation, the next sleepover. And it’s not just the big stuff they enthusiastically await. It is why they can sit cross-legged watching through the glass on the oven door as the chocolate chip cookie dough transforms into cookies. It’s why they wear their swimming trunks to bed when they know they are headed to the pool with a friend in the morning. It’s why, when learning their birthday is 340 days away, they respond with fervor and joy, preparing for the countdown. Children intrinsically know how sweet it is to thoroughly anticipate something. But you don’t need to be a kid to experience it. Have you ever watched the face of a groom as his bride walks down the aisle? Or witnessed someone hold their grandchild for the first time? Have you seen the smile of an Olympian perched on top of a platform preparing to receive her gold medal? Have you ever been present the moment a unit of soldiers is released from their ranks to finally rejoin their families after a fifteen-month deployment? The delight that emanates from joyful awaiting is a beautiful part of life. * * * * * My friends, this has been another difficult year in so many regards for so many people. And yet, as we move into the final month of it, we advance into a season of profound anticipation. This season, don’t just make lists of things you need to get ready for the house or buy for others, but consider what it is you are celebrating in the first place and how best to prepare yourself to be ready when it arrives. Joyful awaiting doesn’t ensure what we are going through will be easy. It just provides the conviction that the reward and the wait will be worth the struggle. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Mary Kelly
It is the holiday season, and it seems everyone around you is decorating, shopping, traveling for fun, and relaxing. It is tempting to take your foot off the gas pedal and turn everything off. After all, it is the holidays, and we all need a break. However, what we do in December is often what sets us up for success in the first quarter of the new year, and perhaps the entire year. How do you stay motivated on work when you want to enjoy the holidays as well? Now is a great time to reassess what is really important, and to categorize what needs to happen in the right way. Once projects are properly categorized, it is easier to get them accomplished. 1. Redefine your core values. Core values encapsulate what is most important to us. Values such as “provide for my family,” “feel a sense of accomplishment,” and “contribute to my community” help us find direction when we want to take the day off to bake cookies or go fishing. Values, both our own and our organizations’, help us stay motivated towards goals that are part of the bigger picture. 2. Redirect efforts to focus on your wants. The Great Resignation is often linked to employees wanting something different from what their employers are offering, and not feeling as though they can do what they want in their current capacity. This may be true. What are your career aspirations? What do you want for your business? What do you want to accomplish in the part of the business you control? 3. Remember that the grass isn’t always greener. Employees who are leaving their jobs are saying they are underpaid, underappreciated, and overworked. Is this you? Is this the people around you? Is this the people who work for you? Or is it just the prevailing sentiment that is making you feel like you want to make a change? When your friends are leaving their jobs, it is tempting to join the crowd of the newly unemployed, and the holidays seem like a great time to enjoy the break that quitting your job might bring. But the grass is not always greener. If the problem is that you don’t like your house, your city, or career, a change might be in order. But a new job, location, or career may not be better than what you have now. 4. Reevaluate our compensation packages and compare apples to apples. I just worked with an organization where some of the employees told me privately that they believed they were underpaid. Why did they feel this way? Because they thought they were comparing their work and salaries with comparable work. They thought they were comparing apples to apples. Except they were not. I tracked down the competitor, and found out that the salaries were 6% lower at my client’s organization, but that the benefits and bonus structures actually meant that my client’s employees were making 19% more. The problem is that the employees didn’t understand that, because they were only comparing salaries, not the overall benefits, vacation, working hours, and end-of-the year bonuses. My recommendation was that the leadership and HR team do a better job conveying what they were actually spending on their employees, and to reiterate the benefits and bonus structure as they were handing out bonuses and performance evaluations at the end of the year, so that employees didn’t think about updating their resumes while opening Christmas presents. 5. Renew the sense of excitement. Take a look at what is changing heading into the new year. Sometimes we feel lethargic about work when work is monotonous. Get the team together and brainstorm about the changes you are likely to face in the new year. Yes, I know we have been barraged with changes over the past few years, but change is exciting when it is challenging and positive. Make a list of what is likely to change in the new year, and then strategize about what needs to happen to respond and lead those changes. 6. Reengage with the right people. The people around us play a big role in our success. When it comes to our professional lives, we can be influenced by our peers. If our friends are talking about how happy they are at work, we tend to feel the same way. If our friends are pessimistic, we are influenced. To stay positive and focused, seek out like-minded visionaries and entrepreneurs, both at networking events and in casual contexts. Get inspiration and motivation from those in similar situations, who are motivated and inspired to make a difference moving into the future. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Kristin Baird
Today’s workforce has more choices than ever before about how and for whom they work. That’s why employers must think differently about recruitment and retention strategies especially in healthcare settings. Why? Because the loss of staffing continuity can have life-threatening impact on patient outcomes; not to mention staff morale. Last week, I was speaking with a CEO about her recruitment challenges. Operating with a lean structure, she was devastated with three resignations in just under two weeks. While many healthcare organizations have recruitment challenges, they can be magnified for those in rural settings or those struggling to maintain competitive wages. EMPLOYERS MUST DO RECRUITMENT TO FILL POSITIONS BUT ALSO NEED TO RETAIN THE ONES THEY HAVE. Here’s the chicken and the egg situation. I’ve witnessed organizations spending huge amounts of money on recruitment tactics and very little on retention strategy to address the high levels of employee turnover. When you have good employees, what are you doing to ensure that you are creating and sustaining a culture where they not only want to stay but are actively recommending your company to family and friends? This is the multi-million-dollar question. RECRUITMENT ISN’T GOING TO BE AS BIG AN ISSUE IF LEADERS FIRST FOCUS ON RETENTION AND KEEPING THE GOOD ASSOCIATES THEY ALREADY HAVE. Sign-on bonuses are a tactic that attract candidates but do not influence retention. In fact, I have found sign-on bonuses to be counterproductive. Long-term, loyal employees are often resentful of sign-on bonuses especially when their wages are stagnant. During a focus group, one 20-year veteran nurse said of sign-on bonuses, “I’m insulted. I have given two decades to this organization and they (administration) will be paying a new hire a bonus while I will be the one helping to bring her up to speed.” This sentiment is not unusual. Another nurse stated, “I guess I will have to leave and reapply to get in on this good deal.” Culture and employee engagement are the backbone of retention. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Marilyn Tam
It hits you as soon as you wake up. The world is in messy disorder and it’s seeping relentlessly into your daily life. Inflation, Supply shortages, War etc., are making you feel anxious and stressed. According to a survey by American Psychological Association this month, over 81–87% of Americans are worried, anxious, and fearful about these issues now. How can you maintain some sense of equilibrium so that you can manage your work, personal life, and health without feeling overburdened by the parade of challenges? Many years ago, I used to have occasional dreams where I was not prepared for a presentation. I would wake up with a start, sweating. Such dreams are an indication that a person is feeling less confident in handling some aspect of their lives. During our current tumultuous times, it is easy to feel insecure. I am happy to share the simple tools that have helped me manage my life and world view with self-assurance, equanimity, and faith. Paraphrasing Rudyard Kipling, if you can keep your head while others are losing theirs, you’ll master the world and all that’s in it. Here’s how: First of all, breathe. Deep belly breaths to release the knots in your shoulders, tightness in your chest and to slow down the buzzing in your head. When you are tense, your breathing is shallow, and you may not realize that your shoulders are hunched up by your ears. Breathe deeply to release the tension. Repeat. Smile. Smiling, even a fake smile triggers the neuropeptides (endorphins) to relieve stress, pain and help you relax. The old songwriter who penned the lyrics for the song, “Smile” knew before the confirming research: “If you smile through your fear and sorrow Smile and maybe tomorrow You’ll see the sun come shining through for you” Stretch, move your body. US Dept of Health & Human Services has shown that movement reduces feelings of depression and stress, enhances your mood and overall emotional well-being, increases your energy level, and improves sleep. Another great benefit? It’s free. You can move any time you feel tight and anxious. Meditate. Quiet your mind. As hard as that may sound when you are feeling stressed, it’s possible. Do the above three steps first and then find a quiet place where you can be alone and feel more relaxed. Sit comfortably. Divert from your anxiety to focusing on your breath, or on a single point like a plant, a candle or some favorite object, and breathe deeply and regularly. When your mind wanders to other matters, bring it back gently and repeat the process. Start with a short period, say 5 minutes, build up from there. You will find that you feel more refreshed and calmer afterwards. Meditating in nature gives you a double bonus of feel goodness. Go outside. Find support in nature. You are part of the natural world. When you are in nature, a park, lake, ocean, mountains or just a small patch of green in your neighborhood, it will improve your attention quality, lower stress, reduce risk of psychiatric disorders, increase empathy and cooperation. A double bonus is when you meditate in nature, you will reap the rewards of both! Seek help. You are not alone, there are people, organizations, and spiritual support to assist you. A friendly ear, a helping hand, a reassuring hug, a useful referral, a heartfelt prayer. There are many ways for help to come, ask for them. Be open to receiving them. List the most challenging things you are dealing with. Prioritize them. Place possible action steps next to each item. Realize that you can affect each situation in some way, even the ones that seem out of your apparent control. When you feel that you can influence the matter, you will feel more empowered. A phone call, making a decision, a small donation to the cause, a prayer and/or your positive intention can make a difference. Find the good in the situation. Your choice of how you perceive the issue changes how you feel. Viktor Frankel, the psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ~ Viktor Frankel It’s challenging to perceive good in grim circumstances. In Viktor Frankel’s case, and he suffered greatly in the concentration camps, he lost many friends and his entire beloved family in the holocaust. Being a psychiatrist, he did his best to support his fellow inmates, and he observed that the ones who survived were the ones who had a reason for living. Viktor Franel’s will to live came from his determination to be reunited with his wife and to use what he was learning in the horrific conditions to help humanity. Fortunately, our problems generally are not as dire as Dr. Frankel’s, and we have more resources to support us. Use the above 8 tools to ease your path to a happier, calmer and more creative life. The world may seem frightful, but you can be a light and support in shifting the trajectory in your own way, by living from a place of awareness positivity and calmness. I’m with you. Breathe. Smile. Stretch…….. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By LeAnn Thieman. This was originally published on LeAnn's blog.
Fear, grief, and isolation during the pandemic have triggered a national state of emergency in the mental health of America’s youth. Youngsters already faced significant mental health challenges, and the pandemic has made them worse, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. They report that children’s mental health is suffering. So much attention is placed on their physical health consequences and too little on their mental health. It’s a health crisis emergency. The statistics prove it. Between March and October 2020, the percentage of emergency department visits for children with mental health emergencies rose by 24% among children aged 5 to 11 and by 31% among children aged 12 to 17. There were 50% more suspected suicide attempt-related emergency room visits among girls aged 12 to 17 in early 2021 than in early 2019. Recent data also show that more than 140,000 U.S. children have suffered the loss of a primary or secondary caregiver during the pandemic. In the first six months of this year, children’s hospitals across the country reported a shocking 45% increase in the number of self-injury and suicide cases in 5- to 17-year-olds compared to the same period in 2019. Attention has focused on the physical health of our children. It’s time to give the same commitment and attention to their mental and spiritual well-being. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Ron Culberson. With a master’s degree in social work, Ron Culberson spent the first part of his career working in a large hospice organization as a clinical social worker, middle manager, and senior leader. As a speaker, humorist, and author of "Do it Well. Make it Fun.The Key to Success in Life, Death, and Almost Everything in Between", he has delivered more than 1,000 presentations to associations, government agencies, non-profit organizations, and corporations. His mission is to change the workplace culture so that organizations are more productive and staff are more content. He was also the 2012-2013 president of the National Speakers Association and is a recognized expert on the benefits of humor and laughter.
A friend of mine recently said that it seems like more people die in January. I don’t know if January leads the calendar in deaths but since it’s often noted that nothing in life is guaranteed but death and taxes, I would expect April to hold that honor. At sixty one years of age, I’ve just made a simple yet profound observation. It seems that I know more people who have died than I used to. Before you jump to the conclusion that I have not been paying attention to the logical trajectory of life (birth, school, work, golf, death), you have to admit that most of us don’t really pay attention to this phenomenon on a regular basis. But we should. A friend of mine died recently and her daughter noted that she had planned out every detail of her funeral right down to where people should sit. My friend said, “It made things so much easier.” You see, when people die, their loved ones are tasked with many details that must be handled. Initially, it’s the funeral plans. Then, there are car titles to change, bank accounts to be transferred, and pesky social media accounts that must be deleted but can’t be without the password that was kept on a slip of paper and stored in a secret drawer somewhere in attic. And when survivors are also dealing with the effects of grief, they aren’t in a state of mind that makes these tasks easy. So, anything that is pre-planned can be a wonderful relief for the loved ones. A few years ago, my wife and I were hanging out with some friends, all of whom were all in their early fifties, and the topic of wills came up. We discovered that we were the only ones who had drawn up wills and advanced directives. In other words, these folks were willfully unwilling to will up. On top of that, they had children still living at home who would inevitably take on the heavy responsibility of making decisions should their parents become ill or depart this world unexpectedly. While this kind of unpreparedness can be avoided, it’s not uncommon in our culture. Many years ago, death was more popular than it is today. Well, let me restate that. It’s never really been that popular, as most of us prefer to stay in the have-not-yet-died category, but it was a less hidden. You see, before funeral homes came into prominence in the 1860’s and people began to leave the communities where they were born, death was a part of everyday life. I’m not talking about the reports of death we constantly see today in the news but the deaths we encountered when we lived for years in and around our neighbors and relatives. Back then, death happened in the home, bodies were viewed in the parlor, and we understood that the end of life was part of life. Today, however, we avoid death like the plague. I guess we also now avoid the plague like death but that’s an issue for the CDC to sort out. It’s as if we seem to think our own death won’t happen anytime soon so we ignore our biological clocks and trudge on through life. So that brings me back to my original pre-planning preparedness stance. All of us over the age of twenty-five (random number that just seems right) should probably have a will and an advanced directive. It doesn’t have to be complicated but it needs to specify our wishes. I worked in hospice care when I was in my mid-twenties and saw a number of difficult situations play out when people did not specify the kind of medical care they wanted or how their loved ones should handle their burial and funeral. So, I’ve been an advocate for clear communication ever since because, as my friend’s daughter said, “It makes things so much easier.” So, keeping that in mind and realizing I had put more thought into my legal documents than my funeral planning, I started a “Ron’s Funeral Wishes” list. I considered potential speakers, a selection of readings, and music. Now, I fully support the idea that funerals are rites of passage and that part of the purpose of a this ritual is to encourage the grieving process. But I don’t want my own funeral to be a sob-fest (although I’m sure my demise will be devastating for most in attendance). There needs to be some balance. To get some ideas of what others have done music-wise, I did an internet search on the “most popular funeral songs.” As I scrolled down the options, I saw the usual tunes: “Amazing Grace,” “Hallelujah,” “Ave Maria.” These are undeniably beautiful songs that would bring a heartfelt tear to any funeral. But I also saw AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” and the Snoop Dog/Willie Nelson duet called, “Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I’m Gone.” I immediately added both to my list. I get giddy just thinking about how people will react—assuming anyone actually attends my funeral. As someone who grew up in a small town and attended numerous funerals in my childhood, and then worked for a decade in the hospice industry, I’ve been aware of end of life issues for years. However, please understand that I don’t live in a state of fear nor do I carry a continual cloud of anticipated grief with me. I see death for what it is—the last part of my life. I think this perspective is how we can cope with its inevitability as well as to plan for it more effectively. This is true for any of the inevitabilities of life. The more we prepare for these “death and taxes” moments, the smoother the experience will be for us and our loved ones. This whole discussion reminds me of a story I heard about a preacher who proclaimed to his flock, “Every member of this congregation will one day die.” A man sitting in the front row started laughing. The pastor stopped his sermon and asked the man why he was laughing. The man said, “I’m not a member of this congregation!” And there you have it. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Steve Gilliland
Let’s face it: as employees, managers, or even business leaders, we all fear change. It can be scary, overwhelming, and even daunting at times. One of the main reasons why is because it removes you from your comfort zone, one that seems too good to leave just yet. But, change is an inevitable part of life and the workplace. Here are some tips to help you embrace changes that come your way: 1. PREPARE FOR MULTIPLE OUTCOMES The future is a mystery; you don’t know which direction you’ll head in and which destination you’ll stop at. The very nature of change is daunting only because you have zero control of what happens. But, having said that, you can prepare for the worst while still expecting the best. Learn to be ready for different outcomes so you know exactly how to react when the situation is real. This helps you avoid being caught in scenarios where you’re unprepared or unable to function. 2. BECOME PART OF THE CHANGE If you can’t go against it, be a part of it. Look at change as an opportunity to learn from your past mistakes and grow to your full potential. Life is an unpredictable ride that includes bumps along the way. Be positive through it all. If there are certain changes occurring in the workplace, get involved and work as a team. Being a driver of change will make you feel less fearful and more empowered. 3. COMMUNICATE Communication is important when you face change. If the company isn’t communicating change effectively, take the initiative to learn more about what this change involves. Talk to your team leader, co-workers, and others involved to understand their opinions. Avoid making these talks negative; instead, ask constructive questions to find resourceful information to better adapt. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Mary Kelly
I don’t really like the word done because it reminds me of something being baked in the oven. It is not my verb of choice, but it is a wildly powerful word. It’s simple. Let people know when you did something. Let people know when something is done. Finished. Accomplished. Closed out. Crossed off. Done. Close the loop. Close the loop with managers, coworkers, and suppliers. Yes, they trust that you will do it, because you said you would do it. They believe you. Yes, you have done it before and they know you are capable of doing it. They have confidence in you. Yes, you are an expert in your field. They respect you. Take the final step and let people know when you have accomplished what you said you would accomplish. Why? So they can take it off their plate. Managers and leaders are juggling hundreds of issues and tasks. When you close the loop and simply tell your supervisor, your coworker, or your customer that you have done what you said you would do, it brings them a sense of relief. It allows them to close the icon. It takes that task off their plate. It reduces the stress. Yet some people push back on this idea of letting people know when they get things done for these reasons, and here are our responses: “I said I would do it.” Response: So tell them you did it to continue to build trust. “It is something I do routinely every week.” Response: Good! So letting others know it is done should be easy. “They shouldn’t have to worry about the details of my job.” We agree! Make it easy for them to NOT worry about you and your job and take it off their to-do list by letting them know the task has been accomplished. Try letting 3 people know you have accomplished what they trust you to do. A simple one word response will suffice. “DONE!” It works. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! |
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