Capitol City Speakers Bureau
  • Home
  • Speakers
  • Events
    • American Heart Month
    • Patient Safety Awareness Week
    • Stress Awareness Month
    • National Nurses Week
    • National Women's Health Week
    • Breast Cancer Awareness Month
  • Blog
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • What's New
  • About
  • Contact
  • Request
Picture

BLOG

The Best Ways to Kill a Conversation - and how to make it better

2/7/2019

0 Comments

 
By Christine Cashen

My son started at a new high school at the beginning of this school year.

As he knows no one, his motivational-speaker mom provided this brilliant advice: “I bet there are a lot of new kids. Just say hello and introduce yourself. Ask them about themselves and before you know it, you’ve started a conversation and maybe made a new friend.” Easy breezy. He’s a great kid. He’s got this!


Then day #2… my son comes home with this, “Why can’t kids just talk to each other? No one asks questions. Everybody just looks at their phones. No one asked me a thing. They just want to talk about themselves.” Ugh.

My pitiful response is that adults are not much better. With technology taking over, face-to-face communication has taken a back seat and people are getting rusty. Let’s bring the art of conversation back.
​

So what kills conversations? What makes conversations killer (that means good)? Check out these common ways convos can either get hijacked or fly high….

The Conversation Karate Chop
These people start or end a sentence with, “No offense," which is really code for: This is offensive, but I am going to say it anyway.

The phrase means nothing except prepare to be offended. Don’t just cut “no offense” from your vocab, but also x-out what you were going to say before or after that. Stop using a phrase that tries to make insults socially acceptable. They’re not. Saying, “No offense” doesn’t excuse what you said. I’m just sayin’ (see what I did there?).

The Yelper 
Do you know someone who posts to YELP every time they get bad service? We all have opinions, but could we be honest in the kindest way possible? Or better yet, do you need to give your view on everything?

If you wonder whether you should post a negative comment, don’t. Do you have something more useful to do than try to change the opinion of someone else? Are you trying to make yourself look smarter or better than others? Maybe someone needs more support and less criticism. What can you do to be more of a helper — and less of a yelper?

The Verbal Tee-Up
This is the phrase you say before you criticize. “Don’t get mad but…”, “Let me be honest with you…”, “I hate to be the one to tell you this…”, and the infamous, “with all due respect.” Really?!? This should not be par for the course.

The Unfiltered
Before you say (or write) something, ask: Is it kind? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said at all? Yes, you can think it, but filter, people, FILTER! “That dress is a little too clingy.” “That tattoo is unfortunate.” Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to say it.

 The Pretender
This is when you think you can multitask, but you really can’t. Have you ever grabbed your phone to check a quick text? Ever sneak a peek over someone’s shoulder to see who else is around? Come on! Do you think the other person doesn’t notice? Sometimes you can even see in a person’s eyes that they are only half listening to you, and instead of thinking of what they want to say next.

The Distracted
Turn your phone face down. Consider turning it off (GIANT GASP)! Look someone in the eye. Be in the moment. Engage fully with another human being. Listening is not a performance. Just listen.

The Boomerang
These are people who always turn the conversation back to themselves. No matter what you say, this conversation narcissist will find a way to steal the conversation spotlight. “Oh, you said you are hungry? I had dinner at the best place last night.”

These people may feel as though they are bonding, but they are doing the opposite. “You think that is embarrassing, you should hear my story.” Even though I can beat anyone with an embarrassing story, I work hard to zip it.

The Competitor
It is a conversation, not a competition. The best exchanges go back and forth. Make sure you share the spotlight. Try being more interested than interesting. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and if you feel like you are dominating the convo, say, “Enough about me — what about you?!?”

I challenge you to join the conversation — in the right way — and work on being a convo master, not a disaster. Improve relationships, build rapport, and leave people feeling better for being in your company. If you don’t agree with me, well, “Bless Your Heart.”  

Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success!
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019

    Categories

    All
    Amy Dee
    Andrew Busch
    Beth Boynton
    Bobbe White
    Chip Bell
    Christine Cashen
    Colette Carlson
    Courtney Clark
    Donna Cardillo
    Joe Flower
    John O'Leary
    Jonathan Burroughs
    Josh Linkner
    Karyn Buxman
    Kenneth Kaufman
    Kristin Baird
    Laurie Guest
    LeAnn Thieman
    Marilyn Tam
    Mary Kelly
    Mel Robbins
    Roger Crawford
    Ron Culberson
    Shep Hyken
    Steve Berkowitz
    Steve Gilliland
    Tim Hague
    Vicki Hess
    Zonya Foco

    RSS Feed

Home

SPEAKERS

EVENTS

Blog

CLIENTS

ABOUT US

Contact

Copyright © 2023 Capitol City Speakers Bureau
  • Home
  • Speakers
  • Events
    • American Heart Month
    • Patient Safety Awareness Week
    • Stress Awareness Month
    • National Nurses Week
    • National Women's Health Week
    • Breast Cancer Awareness Month
  • Blog
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • What's New
  • About
  • Contact
  • Request