How to Get Out of Your Own Way

By Christine Cashen

​Whenever I text “On my way,” it somehow becomes, “In my way.” Interesting. Could be the proximity of the O and I on the keypad. My giant thumbs, perhaps? Or, could it be a sign?

How many of us are in our own way? Why aren’t we where we want to be? Many of us blame circumstances, spout excuses, or put off what we really want until later (like later ever comes). You may think you will get serious about your goals, “when the kids are grown,” “when you have more money,” or “when you have more time.” But will you???

PUT UP OR…
What are you waiting for? Are you in your own way? Guess what?! You are the boss of you! It is time to stop making excuses and do what needs to be done to get where you want to go. If not, you are no longer allowed to complain about it. Period.

PARENTAL CONTROL
As a little girl, I distinctly remember thinking how much I wanted to grow up so that I could make my own decisions. No more parents telling me what to do, making me do things I didn’t want to do, and bossing me around…YAY! Well, that grownup time has come – and then some. Talk about underestimating that responsibility!

Being the boss of your own life is challenging. It is so much easier to do nothing than something. With stress and responsibilities, adulting is hard enough without adding the extra pressure of taking steps towards accomplishing those long-term or bucket list goals. Most times, we are just trying to get through the day, get food on the table, pay the bills, get to the gym, answer those emails. But somehow, I still find time to clickbait my way to useless articles and mindless videos.

GETTING BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
Yes, the Beatles knew what they were talking about.  We all could use a little help from our friends. How nice it would be to have someone parent and push you – someone to help you accomplish your goals? Someone to make sure you get enough sleep, make sure you eat clean, control your screen time (maybe not that last one). But alas… as adults, we are supposed to be doing this for ourselves.

 SWITCH ON
You must become your own motivator and coach. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. That is why accountability partners are so effective. Make that angel on your shoulder louder than the devil on the opposite one. Whenever you “don’t feel like it,” let that fuel you to act. Be your own critical parent and listen to that advice.

If you are sick of that extra weight, get up 20 minutes early to exercise. Get it over with! Start with 15 minutes at your bedside just stretching and gauge how you feel afterward. Guaranteed you will feel better, refreshed and recharged. Flip the stretch to a plank or pushups. Yell, “Angels Rock!” afterward. Unless your loved one is still snuggled in bed. Then, say it quietly.

HIRE TO GO HIGHER
My book editor, Debbie Johnson, figured me out pretty fast. I wanted to get my book done by last October. So, we worked backward and committed to a chapter a week. And what did I do? Nothing. I blew her off. No, not once…time after time. She’d call, email, text. Finally, she sent a note, “Hey…I’m signing off. Get back to me when you’re ready to get this book done.” What?!

That was a wake-up call. I called. We discussed. I told her I needed her to “nag” me (her words) for another chapter, week after week. It worked. There is no way my books would have been completed without her. Maybe you are already driven? Or maybe, like me, you need a driver.

If you’re serious about making something more of your life, consider hiring a life coach, voice coach, personal trainer, editor. Heck, it doesn’t have to cost anything… find an app, set alarms on your phone, count your carbs, count your steps. Grab a friend with like-minded goals and mastermind together to make them a reality. Search out the tools you need to get the job done!

TREAT YOURSELF
Just like kids and dogs, give yourself a treat. Reward yourself for good behavior. If you crush your onslaught of emails, only then can you cruise social media. If you yelled, “Angels Rock” in the morning, then, and only then do you get to have dessert. Watch Netflix once you have (insert goal-related task here). By the way, if the Netflix message pops up, “Are you still watching?” pretend it says, “Why the heck are you still watching!? ENOUGH!” In the epic Parks and Recreation show episode, TREAT YOURSELF, this only applies once you have put a giant checkmark by a completed list item. You do have a list, right? Place some limits on yourself and the sky is the limit.

UNLOCK THE BLOCKS
Promise yourself that you will quit complaining and act. If your relationship is dull, spice it up. Try to make your partner feel special. If your job sucks, find the joy in what you are doing or get out (some of you know what BOOGIE really means). If you are tired, go to bed, and go to sleep. Sounds simple, but it is not. We are in our own way. Many of us are not good parents to ourselves.

No more excuses. Rock your life. You are responsible and accountable to YOU. If you knew how much longer you had to live, what would you do? Don’t wait. Create a legacy. Finish that project. Attain that goal. The world is waiting.

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