Capitol City Speakers Bureau
  • Home
  • Speakers
  • Events
    • American Heart Month
    • Patient Safety Awareness Week
    • Stress Awareness Month
    • National Nurses Week
    • National Women's Health Week
    • Breast Cancer Awareness Month
  • Blog
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • What's New
  • About
  • Contact
  • Request
Picture

BLOG

How We Use Happiness as a Weapon - And What We Should Do Instead

11/19/2019

0 Comments

 
By Courtney Clark

“Hey, girl. Gimme a smile.”

If you’ve ever been hollered at on the street (and if you’re a woman, it’s probably not really if, but when), you know how insulting it can feel when some stranger demands you flash a smile and fake happiness.

The real problem? It’s not just sexist strangers on the street.

We attempt to force happiness on ourselves and others all. the. time. Even when we mean well, we often discourage sadness in our friends and loved ones. “Don’t feel bad,” we say. “It’ll all be okay.” “It could be worse.” Or the ultimate punch in the gut: “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

Happiness is supposed to be a private emotion. But because of a focus on personal development in recent years, happiness has morphed from an internal journey to an external measure of how evolved and successful we are. We’ve somehow come to believe that if someone isn’t happy, there must be something wrong with them. They aren’t trying hard enough to find happiness, or they need to control their stress, or they’re choosing to be sad.

When we think like this, we turn happiness into a weapon. If people don’t meet our definition of happy, society begins to think of them as “weak.”

Why You Beat Yourself Up About Happiness

Weaponized happiness is a new epidemic, where everyone is expected to meet societal standards of joy or else be deemed not tough enough. Of course we all WANT to be happy. But it isn’t always quite so simple. Life can be stressful and difficult. And even if we aren’t in the middle of a crisis, life simply may not always be enjoyable. (And that’s not even accounting for clinical depression, where guilt over not being happy is likely to just make things far worse.)

Everyone else’s life looks shiny and perfect from the outside. Blame it on Instagrammers, but we’ve come to believe that if we aren’t running through a meadow with flowers in our hair and a blissful look on our faces, we must not be truly happy. Happiness doesn’t always look like a shiny blog post. When we judge our happiness but what other people’s lives appear to be, we’re measuring against an unreliable yardstick.

Why You Judge Others’ Happiness

Insisting that others be happy is a bad habit that comes from a good place. When you care about someone, you don’t want them to hurt. You want them to be happy. But when we attempt to shortcut their hurt or sadness, we’re not actually helping them find happiness any faster. In fact, studies show that ignoring feelings of sadness can actually keep you feeling sad for longer.

A life of blissful joy isn’t the best goal. People need a little struggle, a little effort, and a little sadness to appreciate the humanity of being alive. The people who have overcome THAT, and can still find happiness even after sadness, are the ones we should really be looking up to. So when a friend or family member is struggling, don’t judge their sadness. Don’t force them to be happy. Allow them their experience, and then help them move on when they can.

It’s time to stop measuring excellence in others based on how happy they seem. Happiness is not a weapon we use to beat up others. It’s a  tool, and it must be a tool we use by ourselves, for ourselves alone.

Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success!
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019

    Categories

    All
    Amy Dee
    Andrew Busch
    Beth Boynton
    Bobbe White
    Chip Bell
    Christine Cashen
    Colette Carlson
    Courtney Clark
    Donna Cardillo
    Joe Flower
    John O'Leary
    Jonathan Burroughs
    Josh Linkner
    Karyn Buxman
    Kenneth Kaufman
    Kristin Baird
    Laurie Guest
    LeAnn Thieman
    Marilyn Tam
    Mary Kelly
    Mel Robbins
    Roger Crawford
    Ron Culberson
    Shep Hyken
    Steve Berkowitz
    Steve Gilliland
    Tim Hague
    Vicki Hess
    Zonya Foco

    RSS Feed

Home

SPEAKERS

EVENTS

Blog

CLIENTS

ABOUT US

Contact

Copyright © 2023 Capitol City Speakers Bureau
  • Home
  • Speakers
  • Events
    • American Heart Month
    • Patient Safety Awareness Week
    • Stress Awareness Month
    • National Nurses Week
    • National Women's Health Week
    • Breast Cancer Awareness Month
  • Blog
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • What's New
  • About
  • Contact
  • Request