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By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
So, you want to make people laugh, huh? That’s easy! Okay, maybe not. But don’t worry! I’m here to help. Let’s dive into some scenarios and I’ll give you some things to keep in mind before your meeting, performance, company party, or whatever you’ve got going on! There are a lot of steps to leveraging other people’s laughter. So, let’s break it down. What’s the setting?
Be sure to keep in mind:
Before letting all of your family holiday party jokes fly, consider your audience. If you have to think about whether or not something is appropriate—play it safe and leave it out. You’re a creative person! Find a better alternative. Details, Details, Details! Don’t forget about the details! There are plenty of nuances in your setting. Here are some key things to keep in mind: Nuances:
One of the biggest keys in getting people to laugh, especially in a group setting, is to make sure they can see each other. Whenever possible, make sure you leverage the seating so that people can make eye contact with other people. Why?? Because laughter is contagious! Trust me. It makes things SO much easier. Our brains contain mirror neurons and when we can see others smile and laugh, we automatically respond in kind. And when we hear laughter—even if we don't know why others are laughing—we begin to laugh as well (thus the science behind sitcom laugh tracks). If you keep these factors in mind—then the next time someone in your audience starts to bust up laughing, you’ll quickly have your whole audience belly laughing! IMPORTANT NOTE: You don’t want people to be TOO comfortable. For example, a group of people that just ate a huge meal maybe had a couple of drinks, and are ready for a nap…probably not the right audience! They’re just focused on getting back to their Puffy Lux. Make sure you and the audience are in the right state of mind. You want a crowd to have energy that you can harness and turn that into laughter! Tap into their pain Now, the pain has to be something they’re emotionally detached from. It's a bit of a delicate balance. Zero discomfort will result in indifference. However, if it sparks a threat response, the humor will fall flat. For example - The lack of parking in your organization.
"Here at Acme Corp, "getting lucky" means finding a parking place!" Weave some things in that come with a little bit of pressure. Leverage the pressure and give them release. Boom! You just successfully leveraged laughter! Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success!
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By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
Flying can be stressful any time of the year, but the holiday season can be especially nerve-wracking: Fretful flights. Cranky crews. Pissy passengers. Instead of instructing people to buckle their seatbelt, flight attendants might be better served to have people fasten their straight jackets! If only there was a way to deal with the strain… But wait—Popeyes Chicken comes to the rescue! Many passengers traveling through the Philadelphia International Airport during Christmas week 2018 skipped the Philly Cheesesteaks and grabbed a to-go box that also served as an Emotional Support Chicken. Yes, I said, “Emotional. Support. Chicken.” These chickens don’t bite, they’re TSA-friendly, and they’re “cheap” comfort food. (Sorry, I just can’t resist a good chicken pun.) Popeyes Chicken thought this emotional support animal wouldn’t ruffle any feathers…but they were wrong. PETA and its supporters squawked that this stunt was insulting and in poor taste:
Whether it’s politics, religion or how a dress affects the visual perception of your derrière, people are hesitant to joke about nearly anything these days for fear of offending someone. And while I’m all about inclusive humor, the fact of the matter is that jokes always have a target. I love Mike Birgbilia’s insight in his brilliant one-man comedic show, “Thank God for Jokes,” that jokes are, by nature, a volatile type of speech. His mom once posed the question to him, “Well can’t these writers just write jokes that aren’t offensive?” He turns to the audience and observes, “I thought about it. And I said, ‘I’m not sure that’s possible, because all jokes are offensive to someone’.” In my book, Funny Means Money. Strategic Humor for Influence & World Domination (ForbesBooks, 2019) I discuss how to make your humor 99% safe. But safe isn’t always going to get you to your desired outcome. While Popeyes may have offended a few, they entertained and comforted thousands of passengers—and they reached millions more on TV, radio and social media…Especially after PETA took them to task and created a twitterstorm. But they seem to have shot themselves in the foot, as the vast majority of people didn’t take offense, and, in fact, they thought that emotional support chickens were hilarious. Many tweets were similar to this one: “Emotional support chickens are FUNNY. And all this brouhaha makes me hungry for chicken!” In my estimation, Popeyes’ strategic use of humor was a savvy marketing move. Their digital footprint is still spreading as we speak! Scowl if you must, but I’m putting Popeyes Chicken on Santa’s “Nice” list for delivering holiday cheer and spreading humor to a population that is hungry for it. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
Stress is a HUGE problem in America. A recent Gallup study revealed 8 in 10 Americans are afflicted by stress! So how can Americans begin to reverse this trend and reduce their stress levels? An easy way to start is with humor! You might be thinking… Stress relief from laughter? Really, Karyn? It’s no joke! Now, a good laugh isn’t going to cure all ailments, but it certainly helps most! Here are some of the short and long-term benefits of laughter (Mayo Clinic): Short-Term
Check out some of the long-term effects: Long-Term
Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
It was a dark and stormy night…(really) and I was waiting to board a flight along with around 200 fellow passengers. We were already delayed an hour and a half and the mood was as dark inside the terminal as it was outside. We were finally cleared to board, and folks—while anxious about the delay—were relieved to finally be moving out of the gate area and onto the plane. The flight attendant sprinted through her safety routine while I and others nervously calculated if there was any way we were going to make our connections. We rolled onto the tarmac and the pilot announced we were #17 in the lineup—seems there were a LOT of folks trying to get-the-heck-out-of-Dodge that night. Slowly we taxied closer to the runway. #15…#12…#8—the pilot periodically would announce our progress. But the next time we heard his voice, it was anything but progress. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. While we were waiting for clearance, another band of storms has moved into the area. There’s a high degree of lightning and we’re grounded until further notice. We can’t go back to the gate so we’ll have to sit it out here on the tarmac. We’ll be dimming the lights. Please remain in your seats. We’ll keep you posted.” A cacophony of curses and groans filled the plane. My stomach sank. My shoulders tightened. A stream of worst-case-scenarios flashed through my mind. Would I be stuck here overnight? Would I miss my speaking engagement tomorrow? Would the client be able to find another speaker? The more I thought about it, the sicker I felt. I pulled out my phone to review my itinerary. And then it occurred to me that I had downloaded an audio of one of my favorite funny authors onto my phone. I fumbled for my headphones and turned on “David Sedaris Live at Carnegie Hall.” I scrunched back in my seat (exit row, aisle: everybody follow me if the plane goes down!) and listened as Sedaris read hysterical yet poignant stories of his life. I began to smile. Then he got to one story that has become a traditional favorite in our house (Santa and The 6-8 Black Men—the story is so far from what you’re probably thinking). I began to laugh. As the story became more outrageous, I began to laugh harder. Then he came to the climax of the story and I began to guffaw—now totally unaware of the people and circumstances that surrounded me. I laughed so hard tears ran down my cheeks. As the flight attendant walked down the dimly lit aisle, she misconstrued my belly laughter for uncontrollable sobbing. She knelt beside me and tried to console me. When I realized what she was doing, the absurdity of the situation combined with the cleansing release of laughter created the ultimate catharsis—and I lost it. I laughed so hard, tears ran down my leg. Did the distraction of the funny audio change my situation? No. But it did distract me from focusing on circumstances that were beyond my control. It provided a brief respite in the midst of a stressful trip. I could sit in my seat and worry about what might happen, or I could sit in my seat and be amused. It would be the same amount of time either way. I keep a number of humorous distractions within reach at all times. I suggest you do the same. You’ll enjoy the journey a lot more. You have a choice. Choose humor. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
A CFO’s Take on Humor in the Workplace One thousand, four hundred CFOs were asked, “How important is an employee’s sense of humor in him or her fitting into your company’s corporate culture?” Seventy-nine percent of them said that an employee’s sense of humor was important for fitting into a company’s corporate culture. Seventy-nine percent! Wow! Two things about this impressed me. First, seventy-nine percent is a huge majority. And second, why the heck did they ask CFOs?! One would of thought they’d ask the CEO or director of HR, but I think it’s fantastic that the researchers asked the single most numbers-oriented person in any firm such a “soft” question. The research also revealed that twenty-two percent said it was “very important,” while twenty percent said it was “not at all important.” “A little levity goes a long way toward building rapport among colleagues, and diffusing workplace tension,” said Kimberly Stiener-Murphy, a Regional Vice President for Robert Half (which owns Accountemps, which funded the research.) “Levity by those at the top can also make the office more fun, which can boost morale and productivity, and raise retention rates.” Hmmm…improved morale, increased productivity, and better retention…sounds to me like elements that contribute to a positive ROI.
Kudos to Robert Half and those one-thousand, four-hundred CFOs who participated in this research! It’s gratifying that the observations that humor enhances well-being and success are being supported by more research as time goes on. Funny really does make money! Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
In October 1962, the world held its breath as America and Russia went to the brink, with nuclear weapons at the ready. Russia was installing nuclear missiles in Cuba—a mere 90 miles from the Florida coast. The 13-day crisis played-out in real time on TV around the world. As American and Soviet delegates came together to negotiate, tensions were high, and they soon became deadlocked. And then…a Russian delegate told a joke: “What is the difference between Capitalism and Communism? In Capitalism, man exploits man. In Communism, it is the other way around.” Delegates on both sides laughed, and this created a bond among all of them. (Hey, ya gotta start somewhere!) With the tension eased for the moment, talks resumed, and eventually a deal was struck that avoided blowing up the planet—no small feat! Whether you’re negotiating for world peace or for which movie to go to, humor can play a crucial role in your success. According to a recent study on business negotiations, humor has numerous functions in the negotiation process. It can put the negotiators at ease; it can introduce a difficult issue; it can foster togetherness and team spirit; it can help the other negotiator save face; and it can be a way of being cooperative in spite of disagreement. Additional studies show that if you can inject humor into your negotiations, you’re more likely to get what you’re negotiating for. Once when I was negotiating with a potential client over the phone, it became obvious that budget was a delicate topic. I could feel the tension rising, and when he posed the question: “How much is this going to cost me?” I wanted to reduce the tension. I paused and said, “Are you sitting down??” He laughed, and from that point, the conversation about money went smoothly. Those four little words, spoken in just the right tone of voice, have helped me close dozens of deals over the years. Think strategically. Who do you negotiate with? It might be with a colleague, a competitor, a customer, an employee, a boss, a colleague or even a family member. (You do understand, I hope, that getting a child to go to bed is not something that you command, but rather something you negotiate. Some of those rugrats make Johnnie Cochran look like an amateur. And don’t even get me started on teenagers!) What are you negotiating for? Examine it and look for an opportunity to weave in a little humor—like a humorous and relevant anecdote, a funny comment or gesture. You probably want to start with something whimsical. Something short. Something that relates to the situation at hand. Negotiations are often important and intense, so use humor wisely, cautiously and professionally. (No “sharp jabs” like Don Rickles is famous for!) The ability to successfully negotiate is a helpful skill for everyone, but it’s an essential tool for anyone who plans to sell or lead. You may not be called upon to save the world from nuclear war—but I guarantee that sometime soon you will be called upon to save a deal, or make the sale, or advance your agenda in some manner. Humor, used strategically, can make you a more powerful and effective negotiator. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
The travel gods smiled upon me. My bag and I both arrived at the same airport at the same time, traffic to the hotel zoomed along, and the line for hotel check-in was shorter than the TSA’s. As I made my way to my room, I observed this hotel’s unique (and somewhat goth) décor: elegant, comfortable... and dark. Dark! Dark! Dark! The walls were black, the furniture was black, I even think the water was black—but I couldn’t tell because, well, it was so DARK. (And I’ll let you guess what color the ballroom floor and the staging were...) The meeting began and halfway through my presentation, I stepped forward to make a dramatic point...and walked right off the front of the stage. (Picture Wile E. Coyote stepping off a cliff.) As you might have guessed, the black carpet and the black stage floor merged visually, leaving no hint that there was a drop-off there. The audience gasped, wondering (in the dark) if I was injured; then they held their collective breath. While the stage was only four feet high, the fall seemed to last forever. Thoughts raced through my mind. Would I bust my butt? Break my neck? End-up paralyzed? Is there a lawyer in the house? Wham! I landed flat on my back. The wind was knocked out of me, and for several moments I was unable to breathe—my mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water. The audience sat in stunned silence. Being a long-time speaker, I’d maintained a death-grip on the hand-held microphone. And then I pulled out the “saver-line” that I had tucked neatly away in the back of my mind for just such an (unlikely) occasion. I sat up, looked at the audience and said, “And now I’ll take questions from the floor.” The audience laughed with relief and applauded as I climbed back up onto the stage. I refused to let them see how badly I’d bruised my ego—and my bottom! Some members of the audience thought I’d actually done it on purpose! (“Oh, she’s so clever!”) Good grief! But like a magician who never divulges “how it was done,” I didn’t tell anyone that it was “planned spontaneity” that saved my...butt. Planned spontaneity is a great little technique for sales professionals. Hold on, hold on—I can hear several of you in the back, murmuring, “I don’t need any planned spontaneity! I’m witty, I’m quick, and I perform best under pressure.” Hey, good for you. Now get over yourself and take a tip from one of my teachers in the world of Improv: “You need to be sharp and quick to perform Improv, but you also need to practice. Practice, practice, practice. Only a fool goes up on stage armed only with his ‘natural born’ talents. Yes, it’s possible to ‘get by’ for a while. But if you want long-term success, you might want to follow in the footsteps of the greats who are brilliant—folks like Carol Burnett, Will Ferrell, Bill Murray, Tina Fey, and Chevy Chase.” A novice salesperson often lives on the edge by being only marginally prepared. A professional salesperson expects the unexpected. You prepare responses for sales resistance, right? You’ll be doing yourself a big favor if you also prepare for unlikely, and even outlandish, situations. Quick, answer each of these questions. You’ve got two seconds to respond. If you delay any longer you’ll get the gong. Ready? Go! You’ve prepared meticulously for the 30-minute slot your prospect has allotted you for your sales presentation. As you walk into their boardroom your contact whispers to you that your time has been cut to 10 minutes. Now what? You’re addressing a ballroom full of potential clients and the sound system goes down. What do you say? You suddenly get the hiccups. Your PowerPoint goes down. Aliens land in the client’s atrium. When the unexpected happens or—heaven forbid!—you make a mistake, humor can be the saving grace. I’m not saying you should just laugh off a serious mistake. However, when used mindfully, humor will decrease the tension, acknowledge the error, and provide some comic relief. Done well, it can also show others that you have the ability to laugh at yourself. The manner in which you respond may actually strengthen your relationship with that prospective client. If you listen carefully to successful comics and politicians, you’ll begin to notice the saver-lines they pull out after a snafu. They’ve thought ahead and crafted a clever response (probably several responses) should the need arise. * * * Try this: Start writing a list of the possible—and the probable—mistakes, glitches, problems, interruptions or Freudian slips you might experience. Then write a list of possible comebacks. (Capture every idea. Later on you’ll edit-out the lines that are really funny, but are inappropriate to use. [Save those for your stand-up act!]) As you develop your own potential saver-lines, pair them with your possible blunders. Now practice them. Aloud! Why? Because the goal is to get them well-planted into your subconscious mind. Practicing in your head is good, but practicing aloud is great. By saying the words aloud, you are literally putting words in your mouth! And when you actually say the words, and hear yourself saying them, you are creating more connections, and stronger connections, between your neurons. So when the need arises, your response will come of its own accord, and appear to be spontaneous. Mistakes happen. As a sales professional, you can plan ahead and use humor strategically to acknowledge a problem and bounce right back. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
“I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.” “This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.” “Don’t bother me. I’m livin’ the dream.” Sarcasm. Gotta love it, don’t ya? Used for comic effect and dry criticism throughout the ages—by us common folks and by the famous. Oscar Wilde observed: “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” Stephen Bishop said: “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” Mark Twain once quipped: “I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” Sarcasm. You hear it nearly every day, from all kinds of people, in all kinds of situations. [Yeah, we all know—or think we know—exactly what sarcasm is. But for the meticulous among you, here’s the precise definition, according to Webster’s Dictionary: “the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say—especially in order to insult someone, to show irritation, or to be funny.”] Sometimes sarcasm works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Sarcasm does work when it bonds like-minded people together, and when it produces just the right level of chuckle. Sarcasm doesn’t work when it’s wielded like a weapon—when it’s used to cut someone down to size, especially when they’re not in a position to defend themselves. Leaders need to learn how and when to employ sarcasm, and also how to recognize and deal with it when your employees/followers use it. Among equals/friends/insiders sarcasm is often used as friendly jousting. It can be an entertaining and intellectually stimulating exercise in bantering. But when directed at strangers/outsiders/visitors sarcasm is cruel and unfair—producing embarrassment, anger and resentment. (Not good things to stir-up in your people!) Sarcasm used well is like fencing: Battling as a friendly sport. Sarcasm used poorly is like aggressive fighting with a sharpened blade. Because sarcasm can definitely cause harm, hurt feelings, and even damage someone’s standing in the group, many leaders simply ban sarcasm (and often any kind of humor) from the workplace. This is not a good idea for two reasons: (1) It’s actually impossible to stop people from using humor. You can censor it, but you’ll only drive it underground—where it can backfire on you as it subverts your authority. (Also, humor is hard-wired into the human brain. You literally can’t stop humor from arising spontaneously). (2) Humor—including sarcasm—can be a tremendously positive force among people and inside organizations. Humor can bond people, it can ease tensions, it can enhance communication and it has been shown to enhance the bottom line. And here are some facts from the scientists who study such stuff: positive humor can produce a dopamine hit which leads to feel-good sensations throughout the body. But hostile humor can evoke stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenalin, which lead to inflammatory responses throughout the body that exacerbate illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. One insight that eludes many users of sarcasm is that cruel sarcasm reflects poorly on them. Bystanders are likely to judge them as boorish and vicious. Not an image that many leaders want to project! Wise leaders use humor—including sarcasm—in an intentional and strategic manner. It’s a subtle skill. But then, great leaders know how to wield a host of tools to help them direct human behavior. As a neurohumorist—one who studies the intersection of humor and the brain—I utilize many different forms of humor. But sarcasm? Me? Never! Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman. This was originally published on Karyn's blog.
As I chatted with Brett in his office, several of his staff walked by the door and giggled. One of the young women leaned into the doorway and said, “Don’t be late for your appointment!” and winked. He waved at her and laughed, saying, “Don’t worry. I’m not backing out!” He looked at me and laughed. “It’s not what you’re probably thinking! A couple months ago I told my staff that if they could go an entire month without an injury or a safety violation, I’d shave my head! At first I was just joking around. I said it more out of exasperation than seriousness. But the staff pounced on the idea. Before you know it, for the first time in ages, they hit the target. As soon as that happened, they came to me and set up a date to ceremoniously shave my head! Between you and me, my first thought was ‘Oh crap! I’m going to look like a dork!’ “But then I realized I’d achieved two things: Most importantly, we met an important safety target. That’s huge. But the thing that I hadn’t expected was that this silly challenge brought my staff together in a way that I never could’ve anticipated. I may look like a goofball, but you know what? I’ll definitely do it again—once my hair grows back!” As leaders, we’re not looking for opportunities to look foolish in front of those we lead. But as Einstein once said, to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results is insanity. We’re often called to step out of our comfort zone to achieve our desired outcomes. When Brett took a risk and allowed himself to appear silly, he achieved his goal—and more! As a leader, it’s important to be able to stretch out of your comfort zone to achieve different and better results. Humor is a safe way to do just that. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. So stretch beyond your comfort zone today and try something a little silly. Maybe a little air guitar in the cafeteria? A rendition of Monty Python’s Silly Walk across the parking lot? Former President George Bush Sr. wears goofy socks. Sam Walton was willing to dance down Wall Street in a hula skirt. He and his company laughed all the way to the bank. Leadership involves calculated risks. Humor, when practiced without purpose, can involve a degree of risk. But when used strategically, humor will help you achieve incredible results. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Karyn Buxman
As I began the interview for my podcast, I looked at his boyish grin and into his playful eyes. “My guest today is Chade-Meng Tan, and he’ll be sharing his insights on leading with levity.” Meng got a puzzled look on his face and said, “Levity? Oh, I thought we’d be talking about levitation. I guess I’ll have to throw out my notes!” “Uh-oh,” I thought. “This might be a disaster!” Chade-Meng Tan then tipped back his head and laughed. Perhaps I should mention that Meng is known as Google’s Jolly Good Fellow. “Leaders need to establish trust—and humor is one way of establishing trust,” he said. Recently retired from Google (at age 45), Meng is an award-winning engineer, bestselling author, TED talk presenter (check out his TED talk where he shares his insight: "Compassion Is Fun”), and Co-chair of One Billion Acts of Peace, which has been nominated seven times for the Noble Peace Prize. As a leader, he demonstrates that you can use humor not only to lead in your workplace or organization, but on a global scale. In your pursuit of better leadership skills you’ve collected an extensive set of tools: Focus. Vision. Values. Strategy. Tactics. Emotional intelligence. Goal-setting. Decision-making. Storytelling. Mentoring. Humor. Humor??! I’ve noticed that MBA programs rarely teach humor. And business books don’t extoll the benefits of humor in the corporate—or any organizational—setting. And that’s too bad, because humor is a tool that enhances many of the other leadership tools that you use. Humor enhances communication; bonds teams; improves retention; increases productivity; and improves profitability. The effectiveness of humor used to be anecdotal. But now it’s a scientifically proven fact that humor has physiological, psychological, and social benefits. Over the past several decades neuroscientists, psychologists, social scientists, and integrative scientists have been ferreting out the secrets of humor. Research from Wharton, MIT, and London Business School reveal the practical benefits of humor in the workplace. Even “The Harvard Business Review” acknowledges that humor is an important leadership skill. As a leader, you need a variety of tools that will help you better guide, direct, and inspire others: Your overall temperament and personal style; the manner in which you give guidance, instructions and reprimands; your ability to adapt your techniques to each person and each team you’re addressing (“emotional intelligence,” anyone?!); the tone of your voice; the different styles of communications for one-on-one interactions, for small group meetings, and for large audience situations; your flexibility, your writing style; your confidence; your level of expertise, and—your use of humor. A good leader knows that when humor happens by chance, positive things can happen. But a great leader knows that humor applied with purpose, intention and mindfulness can change the world. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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