By Beth Boynton

Daniel Goleman, the psychologist well-known for bringing the term emotional intelligence into mainstream culture with his ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence:  Why It Can Matter More than IQ, describes empathy as an important component of social competence. In a more recent article, he describes empathy as a component of effective leadership stating the importance of understanding others’ feelings and points of view.  

Empathy and relationships
Ultimately, empathy is important for building healthy relationships of all kinds, including professional ones with colleagues and therapeutic ones with patients.  It is closely tied to attentive listening where the focus is on the other person.   

Remember only 10-20% of our communication is attributed to the actual words we exchange!  

An empathic person is taking in all sorts of the other 80-90% of information in any given relationship. A nurse with a high degree of empathy has an invisible radar that interprets facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.  She may be the one on the unit who notes the early signs of a patient’s escalating anger or a colleague’s signs of irritability.  This nurse can be a real asset to the team because he may help prevent a workplace violence incident or get help for a peer who is developing burnout. 

Nurses vary with their ability to start an IV in an elderly dehydrated patient or accurately assess subtle lung sounds before a fluid overload crisis, right? We also vary in our ability to show and feel empathy.   That’s Okay because just like practicing clinical skills, empathy can be developed too!

Many exercises come from the emerging field of Medical Improv where theater activities are used to build emotional intelligence and communication skills. For instance, one activity involves synchronized storytelling aka same-time-story, where two people try to tell the same story at the same time.

How to play synchronized storytelling
This activity requires working in pairs, where one person tells a story while the other acts as a mirror and tries to tell it at the same time. So if I say, ‘Once upon a time,’ the idea is that my partner is going to say that at the same time that I am.

It’s a little slow at first, and what happens is the person following the storyteller becomes intently focused on that person. Because the activity requires almost 100% attention on another person in a safe and fun way, there is a natural opportunity to develop empathy.  

If you decide to try it with a colleague, make sure you both have a chance to play both roles and notice:

• Whether you are thinking of anything besides the person telling the story.
• What hints you get from the storyteller that don’t involve words. 
• How the activity impacts your relationship with your partner.
• What is easy and comfortable for you versus what is unfamiliar.

While this activity and these concepts may seem outside the scope of clinical communication, they open the door to developing awareness and skills associated with empathy.  They also create opportunities to discuss the value of the skillset and when and where it can help in your work as a nurse.

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By Beth Boynton

​Let’s face it, nurses — we’re all different! Millennials grew up with rapid advances and total comfort with technology, more progressive values about women in society and the workplace, and a heightened sense of boundaries and limit-setting. There is so much that Baby Boomer nurses can learn from their Millennial nurse peers. Boomer nurses, on the other hand, have years of valuable experience despite the challenges of providing care amidst inadequate staffing, bullying, and toxic workplace cultures.
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I have no doubt that if we can build relationships and respect our differences, the things we can learn from each other will have a positive impact on patient care, career paths, and the nursing profession. 
Here are seven tips to help Millennial and Boomer nurses create bridges to thriving interprofessional relationships and all sorts of positive outcomes:

1. Recognize the inherent value in diversity. 
Sometimes our differences are overshadowed by fears or power struggles that are hurtful and keep us separated. Yet diversity is an element of complex adaptive systems that allows for a variety of creative ideas. When the clinically seasoned Boomer nurse joins forces with the tech-savvy Millennial, the possibilities for problem-solving in any given situation are much more than the sum of two parts.

2. Be curious!  
I’ve heard Boomer nurses make unkind and generalized remarks about Millennials and visa versa. Is this necessary? Curiosity is a fundamental listening skill that requires focusing on what we don’t know about another person and a willingness to suspend judgment. Rather than making assumptions about experiences, behaviors, or intentions, consider being curious.  

3. Invite dialogue.  
If you’re a Baby Boomer, use your curiosity to find out what it’s like to be a new nurse in today’s healthcare system. What are the challenges and rewards that your Millennial colleagues are hoping for?  If you’re a Millennial, do you ever wonder what it’s been like to practice nursing with chronic problems like toxic cultures and bullying? Taking the initiative to learn more about each other will automatically build relationships. I bet you’ll have some really interesting conversations, too!

4. When values conflict, show ownership for yours.  
If you don’t like the way someone else is behaving, reflect about what’s going on for you. A Boomer who thinks a Millennial is lazy might really be feeling resentful because their young colleague seems to have a healthier work-life balance and personal boundaries. If that Boomer can identify and deal with such feelings, they’ll have the potential to improve their own self-care. 

5. Validate differences with respect.  
Millennial nurses may find themselves surrounded by Boomer nurses who have much valuable knowledge and skills coupled with very bad habits in terms of bullying and incivility. If younger nurses can express respect for seasoned nurses’ experience while clearly stating that inappropriate behavior is not OK, a whole world of relationships and learning opens up.
 
6. Ask for what you need from each other.  
Do you need help with a decision to call a physician? How about help with the new EMR? In a healthy team of Millennials and Boomers, there’s a dynamic exchange of expertise — and if there isn’t, this is one way to get that ball rolling.

7. Show gratitude for what your colleagues bring to the table! 
Millennial to Boomer:  “Thank you so much for your support when Mr. Jones passed away. He was my first patient death.”  
Boomer to Millennial: “Thank you so much for helping me figure out how to program that new IV pump. I couldn’t get it to work right.”

Conclusion
Yes, Millennials and Boomers are different, and sometimes differences create tensions that interfere with learning, communication, patient care, and mutual appreciation. Can you envision trying out any of these tips on younger or older colleagues? If you can, let us know how it turns out!

Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success!