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By Colette Carlson
There’s no better time than a new year for reflection and renewal. After all, how can you recognize and celebrate your growth if you don’t look back to honor what brought you joy, the challenges you overcame and the connections you claimed? Without contemplation, how can you shed light on what you truly want or what you must shed in order to wake up with energy and passion for your life? If you didn’t make time for mind time, you don’t have to wait to decide what new behaviors to embrace or which ones to renew or release. Instead, take yourself out for coffee or lunch this week and bring a journal to jot down notes. If you’re uncertain how to begin, open up your phone and look through your photos or last year’s calendar to see what thoughts or feelings emerge and what questions or actions they stir. Once you’re clear on the what, address the how to set yourself up for success. If you’ve gone through your own reflect/renewal exercise, I’d love to hear what behaviors you’re bringing forward or leaving behind. To provide inspiration for your own journey, I’ll share mine. NEW: Block first 90-minutes of morning for content creation when off the road. My head swirls with ideas, programs and videos I know would support others, as well as my own business growth. Yet, in my desire to accommodate clients in other time zones or quickly turnaround a request, I often give away the time of day I’m most creative and energized. I know better (and can even quote the research in support of time blocking), and now it’s time to do better. How? I’m using Calendly.com to send a link to both speaking and coaching clients to show my availability which excludes that 90-minutes as an option! RENEW: Continue to invest time connecting with family and friends when speaking in their city. Trust me, it’s easier to simply jump on a plane and return home quickly to accomplish more. However, during my own reflection, the photos and memories most cherished were a result of the conscious decision I made last year to show up and be present for people I cherish. Two of my highlights were celebrating Dad’s 93rd birthday and a last-minute weekend with girlfriends, four of whom I hadn’t seen since high school freshman year! How? Rather than overthink the situation, as soon as an engagement is confirmed in a particular city, I send a quick email to a nearby friend to discuss options. Even if the timing for a visit doesn’t align, a fun conversation usually follows as a result. RELEASE: My need to be right. Although I’ve been working on this behavior for years and have made great strides in my professional life, I can’t claim the same in my personal life. I’ve grown up, done my time in therapy and healed enough to eliminate my need to have the last word, educate or judge others when it comes to the bigger issues in life. I truly accept and appreciate our differences and the different perspectives we bring to the table. YET, I still catch myself telling my sweetheart, Blue-Eyes, there’s a faster route to our destination than the one he’s chosen, a more effective way to communicate with his family or a more efficient way to load the dishwasher! As someone who speaks on the power of connection, I recognize the need to release this unhealthy and unattractive behavior once and for all. How? Before opening my mouth, I’m going to ask myself, “Is making this statement more important than making this beautiful, kind man feel loved, valued and appreciated?” After all, isn’t that what we all really want and crave from our connections? Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success!
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By Colette Carlson
The holiday season is chock full of additional, and often unrealistic, expectations around entertaining relatives, parties, decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning and traveling. All this activity fills what little whitespace remained on your already-crammed calendar. Emotions run high filled with seasonal stress, as well as crowded mall parking lots, airports and freeways. If you prefer peace and joy, rather than more pressure and juggling, put the following survival strategy to work: Embrace a Less is More Mindset. By choosing to buy less, do less, or do (fill in the blank) less perfectly, you’ll immediately trade in chaos for calm. Granted, online shopping saves time, but look for shortcuts at every turn. For example, rather than purchase individual gifts for colleagues, show up with an edible everyone can enjoy. Better yet, make a pact to skip gift-giving entirely in lieu of a coffee date next quarter deepening a relationship. My hairstylist appreciates receiving the finely wrapped thyme candle gift, and shared she also appreciates my gift bottle of wine minus bag or bow. Rather than slave over a stove, grab and go instead. The homemade, smoked trout crostinis with dill sauce someone brought to a recent party I attended were devoured and enjoyed — but then again, so was the Costco shrimp platter. Rather than put up outdoor lights or even a Christmas tree, hang a beautiful wreath or create a mantle display. Skip the greeting cards and send a photo card from next year’s vacation if you must. Depending on the ages and stages of your family, align gift giving with a less is more approach. Now that my own daughters are grown, the packages under the tree are few. They’re blessed to have enough stuff, and I’d rather create memories through experiences together. My sweetheart and I gave up gift-giving years ago and instead contribute to a vacation account for the same reason. In fact, we’ve adopted a BOGO (Buy One, Goodbye One) philosophy when it comes to adding items to our life to reduce stress and clutter. Rather than accept numerous holiday invitations, ask yourself, “Will this activity bring me or my family more joy? Will it allow us to deepen our connection to others?” By limiting your commitments, you’ll maintain your sanity, but also your credibility as you’ll prevent last minute cancellations. Prioritize one or two events that mean the most to you and/or your family and then let the rest go. Here’s some phraseology that might make it easier: “I appreciate being included, however my calendar is fully committed.” If you’re uncertain, give yourself an out. “I will try to attend, but please don’t count on me given my obligations that day.” If pushed, you can respond, “Thank you, and the timing doesn’t work this year.” It’s okay to be missed. Remember, choosing to do less does not equate to being less. It means you’re time savvy and gives others permission to do the same. For those of you rolling your eyes, here’s the truth: If you’re determined to create a perfect Pinterest holiday, don’t be surprised when you find yourself sick, crabby, or exhausted. Good luck being present or creating connection with others in that state! Instead, give yourself the gift of doing less or doing things less perfectly. Seek connection, not perfection, to discover the true joy of the season. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
Business articles and books which marry the theme of leadership with heart have gained traction of late, and as a speaker on the power of connection, I’m thrilled to witness the joyful union. When Robert K. Greenleaf coined the phrase “servant leadership” over 30 years ago, who knew it would take this long to shift mindsets and awaken awareness to the truth that leaders who start with heart create healthy teams that, in turn, drive healthy profits. When individuals feel respected, heard, challenged, and encouraged to achieve, their genuine desire to contribute, collaborate and produce is heightened. This is true whether you’re leading a team of project engineers, a classroom of students, a group of volunteers, or your own family. If you want to start with heart, here are three ways to show, not tell, another you genuinely care: Hold individuals accountable. What? This doesn’t sound loving. Yet, it is, assuming you’ve provided the structure, systems and support to help the individual succeed in the first place. When you let someone off the hook too easily, or simply end up doing the task yourself due to deadlines, you’re not being caring or helpful. Rather, you’re contributing to the problem and holding the person back from future opportunities, as well as stunting their personal growth. Not to mention you’re also showing others your inconsistent leadership style which erodes trust. The top salesperson who consistently arrives late to weekly sales meetings shouldn’t get a pass, nor the team member who shows up with half of his or her expected contribution. Heart-centered leaders immediately address –rather than avoid – accountability issues. Care enough to get to the heart of the matter through a calm, respectful conversation, discuss concerns, and identify solutions. Dare to Share. No, I’m not asking you to divulge your deep, dark secrets, but rather share more than your professional self to your teams. People best connect with the person behind the position, so feel free to share a story about your child’s soccer game or your talent behind the grill. I speak regularly at administrative assistants’ conferences, and I always hear that when their supervisors share pieces of their personal lives, the assistants feel a deeper connection and sense of loyalty. Be vulnerable during a meeting and offer up a time you made a costly error, worked on a project that didn’t go as planned, and what you took away as a result. When you share your less-than-perfect moments, you’re viewed as more humble and relatable. Daring to share creates a safe and trusting environment which gives people permission to take risks and reveal their own challenges as they occur. Show up, listen up, and learn. Yes, you’re busy. Everyone is busy and no one has time anymore to drop by or drop in due to more pressing issues. It’s rare not to be interrupted with an “Excuse me but I need to take this call,” or darting, distracted eyes. But the leader who shows up for the women’s leadership event to show support and remains to listen to the program; the leader who shows up in the cafeteria to sing Happy Birthday to an employee and asks about their job or family; or the leader who simply looks up while riding the elevator, smiles, and engages with those nearby will be talked about and remembered as one who has his or her heart in the right place. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
Leaders encourage new team members to ask clarifying questions surrounding a project, protocol or procedure. Connected leaders take it one step further and reassure individuals to reach out for support or help when needed. Yet, too many individuals still hesitate asking for what they need to succeed demanding that leaders change their approach. According to an article in Harvard Business Review, a call center experiment may hold clues to creating a safe and supportive “asking” environment. The Challenge: The company’s rapid call center growth (tripling in size over a five-year period) left insufficient time for training to support their financial advisor clients. Wanting to look good in their supervisor’s eyes, new hires hesitated asking for help or saying, “I don’t know. Let me find out.” This increased call volume as clients chose to call back until two out of three answers received were alike. The leaders gave their teams a clear vision: Change whatever it takes to prevent clients from living by the three-call rule. The Experiment: First off, management made it safe to experiment by keeping, but not compensating, call center service agents on metrics for four weeks. To show they were serious, white lab coats were distributed and input solicited. The first experiment resulted in a “Bat Signal” agents could press when needing informational support, but they still hesitated as the device clearly signaled they needed assistance. In addition, everyone assumed someone else would jump in to help, leaving the requestor helpless. Even after someone was assigned as Bat Manager, other demands often meant they weren’t at their desk to receive the signal. The experiment shifted to a private “Bat Chat” channel where new hires could directly connect with specialized departments, but that also failed. However, when the “Bat Chat” channel was launched to the entire call center, everything changed. Although management anticipated that new hires would be connecting and asking for support from each another, that wasn’t the case. Turns out, only when seasoned team members modeled the behavior and asked each other for additional support, did new hires follow suit. As the article’s author Joe Brown noted, “When they were just another voice in a crowded room, they felt safe to ask questions. So, the key wasn’t in giving newbies special treatment, it was making them feel normal in saying, 'I don’t know.' And a nice added benefit of the Bat chat? Those long transcripts became a searchable library of answers for future service agents.” My Takeaway: Leaders must get their own ASK in gear if they expect others to feel safe enough to follow suit. Put your pride on the side, show your vulnerability and ask for support when necessary. Not only will you be doing yourself a favor, but you’ll be leading the way for others to do the same. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
Effective leaders know deliberate learning is not optional, but a requirement of growth and success. Consistent learning demands an investment of time, money, and energy, but the price paid pales in comparison to the abundant returns in awareness, understanding, and the development of richer connections to people, places, and ideas. Which begs me to ask, how often do you invest in the following three areas to receive the greatest return both on and off the job? 1. The Leader-Reader Connection As someone who studies successful individuals’ habits, the common thread of voracious reading never fails to show up. From Oprah or Bill Gates to my most recent client, COO of Raintree Systems, Terrance Sims, these leaders are disciplined in their practice of carving out time to read. According to a New York Times article stating that Gates reads over 50 books a year, he mentioned that reading is still the “main way that I both learn new things and test my understanding.” Gates also has taken an annual two-week reading vacation for his entire career. Not only does reading open up your mind to new adventures and perspectives, but it also betters your vocabulary, stimulates your thinking, and can shift how you see yourself and others – making room for more empathy and less judgement. If you consistently find yourself reading fiction, try some non-fiction on for size and vice versa. I often share an Audible book with my sweetie as we walk the beach sparking both our thinking and conversation. 2. The Conference Connection Perhaps I’m biased since I speak at conferences weekly, but I witness the conversations, camaraderie, and coaching that randomly occurs in the hallways, during meals, and even in the washroom! These unplanned moments of connection often equal or surpass the well thought out education provided. If I were to unexpectedly ask anyone in attendance how they can afford the time away from work, the answer would overwhelmingly be, “I can’t”. Yet, after years of showing up, these same individuals realize they can’t afford not to attend. The savviest attendees maximize their conference investment by proactively creating memorable moments. For example, my colleague and friend, Laurie Guest, organizes a fun friend’s dinner months in advance. She invites an eclectic group of individuals, many even new to her, to gather off-site for conversation and connection. Having been privileged to attend, I’ve also been fortunate to meet a few individuals (who turned into dear friends) that otherwise might never have come across my radar. 3. The Crew Connection While leading a training activity, I overheard a co-worker tell another, “Wow! I’ve sat next to you for the past three years, and I had no clue you’re a docent at the botanical gardens. I studied botany in college!” When we make the time to share our truths, ask insightful questions and fully listen, we can always find common ground with another or better understand what makes them tick. This awareness becomes a building block for greater appreciation, trust and respect. In our busy, demanding days, it’s all too easy to default to unengaging small talk or mindless chatter with another rather than create a quality moment or two for genuine conversation that opens the door for powerful collaboration. If you can’t remember the last time you invested real time learning something brand new about someone in your crew, now is the time to begin. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
Lack of personal connection and the absence of human support is a struggle in most businesses today. Although companies can address this issue simply through understanding and better communication, many remain so singularly focused on profits, they are unaware of the insidious internal damage caused by poor morale. Here are a few things to consider when evaluating how to keep your company healthy: Does your company pay attention to its employees’ individual needs and opinions? Or does it take a cookie-cutter approach to its workers, expecting strict conformity without exception? Although it’s obvious that employment standards are necessary and healthy, some businesses overlook the fact that humans are not machines, and sometimes require special handling when adapting to changes at work or in their personal lives. Does your business encourage group activities, team meetings for communication and morale-building, and other opportunities to connect with fellow employees? Fostering good relationships among employees is a huge contributing factor in companies’ successfully weathering the ups and downs inherent in business. Furthermore, research has shown that positive feedback and personal encouragement at work frequently outrank even pay rate when it comes to employees’ job satisfaction! Smart companies don’t skimp on the holiday celebrations, employee family picnics, and birthday recognitions. As in all human interactions, when we feel valued, we are generally motivated to return the favor by giving our best. Do managers embrace an open-door policy, inviting employees to come to them for discussion and resolution of issues? Or are they unapproachable, with an attitude suggesting they’re superior, super controlling, or quick to resort to punitive measures? Here is where connection becomes absolutely critical for survival of a business “species.” Humans are social creatures, with an innate need for validation and acceptance by others. Companies would do well to encourage and understand, rather than criticize and condemn, fellow members of their species. Is your treatment of coworkers based on reality, as opposed to mental gymnastics? Don’t make the mistake of guessing the feelings and motivations of your employees. Often, we avoid connecting because we’ve already painted an ugly picture of them based purely on our own fears, past negative experiences, and displaced resentments! This form of judgement is actually very similar to the delusional thinking of people overcome by despair related to a mental illness. If fed with more inner distortions instead of outside support and objectivity, our perspective grows darker and darker, leading to harm and possibly death, be it to an individual or corporation. As a passionate spokeswoman regarding human connection, which directly bolsters the health of both individuals and companies, I challenge you to evaluate your own professional mental wellbeing. Consider how you think about—and therefore behave—toward others. Don’t make the mistake of minimizing the importance of relating to the people you work with authentically, respectfully, and compassionately. Because the truth is, the very life of your company depends on it. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
Connection is the glue that keeps relationships, projects, and organizations together, which is why leaders and teams often look for opportunities to strengthen bonds in the form of internal events and outside activities. Research supports that teams who play together have a better chance of staying together. Experiencing the person behind the position leads to deeper understanding which translates to more effective communication and collaboration back on the job. These occasions might resemble simple pot luck lunches in the breakroom to elaborate off-site, trust-building rope courses. However, the best of intentions to create a sense of community can backfire when organizers fail to fully consider the impact of their choices and actions on others. For example, many companies or teams still celebrate a finished project or the achievement of a sales goal by gathering at a local bar following the workday. Having participated in more than a few happy hours throughout my career, I’m well aware of the value of showing up. Time together outside of the office creates space for finding common ground and exploring interests. As individuals relax, conversations flow and information gets shared. This environment can provide face time with a supervisor who otherwise is too busy. This proximity power allows you to share your accomplishments or goals with those who have the platform or persuasiveness to get your ideas or agenda acted upon. Even though I’ve personally benefited from and leveraged a few relationships and conversations as a result of these gatherings, they’re not inclusive and therein lies the problem. When a supervisor suggests going out for a drink with the team as a way to connect, they haven’t taken into account team members who have obligations outside of the workday, colleagues who refrain from drinking alcohol, or individuals who prefer not to put themselves in an uncomfortable situation given how alcohol can affect behavior. Add to that list introverts who prefer not to make small talk and need downtime to re-energize or individuals from other cultures who show up but remain on the outside as those with more in common congregate at one end of the bar. A more effective way to support positive workplace culture is to create a space and place for everyone to feel included and contribute. This might come in the form of taking time away from work to volunteer together at a non-profit event or tweaking the pot luck lunch to include sharing the history behind or fun story about the chosen dish. Here are three things to consider when planning your next team event: 1. Create a diverse planning committee. When you include and solicit input from a variety of ages, genders, cultures and personality-types, you automatically increase the likelihood your activity will be more inclusive and innovative. If that’s not feasible, make time to individually gather team members insight, ideas and interests. 2. Have a clearly defined goal. Individuals prefer not to waste precious work or personal time on contrived activities or icebreakers without a strong purpose or takeaway. 3. Seek an activity with structure. Coming together and accomplishing something as a team can be a powerful experience with lingering effects. For example, a company who brought me in to speak collectively builds a Habitat for Humanity home every summer. These activities can build genuine, long-lasting connections and teams often find themselves reflecting together on the experience. As one person told me, “After pounding nails and sharing a few laughs with Jon that day, I’ll never hesitate picking up the phone and calling him the next time I need support from his department.” Now that’s connection in action. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
From my window seat on a Coach bus bound for Chicago O’Hare Airport, I watched the bus driver hustling below to load passengers’ luggage in the berth, in an attempt to make up for arriving 30 minutes late. Tension permeated the air as aggravated riders worried about possible missed flights. As the driver rushed back onto the bus and pulled out, I gazed down and saw she’d left the luggage compartment door open! An uproar ensued, luggage flew and brakes slammed, the chaos costing everyone more time. The airport atmosphere was even more intense, as I spotted a professionally attired woman running out of the restroom with a paper toilet seat cover stuck in her tailored pants waistband… Whether you call it hurry, distraction, or poor time management, the issue boils down to one thing: not being PRESENT. Consumed by trying to do too much at once, or thinking about what already did, or what might happen, we lose the only reality we have: the here and now. Sadly, for some people, this is a way of life, and the cost is dear. When we’re not present, we sacrifice the very heart of being alive, a gift best used and shared. And if we’re in a leadership role, we compromise our effectiveness by not paying attention to the tasks (or people) at hand. Being present sounds simple enough, but it’s definitely not always easy. Progress is possible, though, with commitment and practice:
We strengthen our ability to do this when we practice being available to each richly real moment of our lives. These limited commodity moments will eventually run out. Don’t miss a moment to be present. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
No matter how much you enjoy spending quality time with family and friends around the holidays, tensions and stress inevitably escalate as different personalities and preferences collide. Perhaps you have a politically passionate or pushy relative who excels at making you uncomfortable with their opinions or overly-personal questions. Even under the best of circumstances, with everyone’s emotions, expectations and exhaustion under one roof, misunderstandings are bound to happen. Rather than gobble up your feelings or lash out in frustration, chew on one of these three options to create deeper, healthier connections. 1 – Show up prepared. Similar to knowing what dishes will likely be on the Thanksgiving menu, you probably can guess what emotional buttons those in attendance might push. Rather than play defense or keep score on game day, plan for how you will handle uncomfortable situations. If you know your sibling will eventually serve up sarcasm on your parenting skills or career choice in front of others, be proactive. Pick up the phone prior and say, “It’s been too long since we’ve truly connected, and I’m looking forward to really hearing what’s going on in your life Turkey Day, rather than falling into old habits of teasing each other. Life is too short for that stuff anymore.” Should your sibling slam you anyway that day, be prepared to deliver a respectful, follow-up comment or question. Two options include, “When we gather together, I’ve noticed you choose to openly find fault with my style or choices. Today would be way more fun for everyone if we could find ways to support one another. Are you game?”. Or, if you want to be more direct, ask, “May I ask why you feel the need to speak negatively of me and my choices when you have an audience?” Oftentimes, family patterns continue because no one is bold enough to have an authentic, honest conversation (while staying calm and respectful) about changing them. 2 – Recognize your role. It takes two to tango, so how are you contributing to the toxic environment you want to avoid? Does confirmation bias influence you to only see what you already believe about another, rather than focus on how others have changed or grown? Did you hear the seven wonderful statements your mother made before she mentioned you looked tired and thin? Sure, your brother’s girlfriend may have more tattoos or piercings than you prefer, but did you notice how his eyes sparkle when she speaks? Do you need to be right rather than get it right and let others form their own opinions? Do you refer to your children as the athlete, smart or messy one in front of them or others? Labels create limits, both in the eyes of others and the hearts of those you reference. Recognizing the unhealthy behavior you bring to the table allows you the opportunity to make better choices. 3 – Think before you speak. Easier said than done, right? My 82-year old mother and I share the annoying trait of processing our thoughts out loud. This behavior lends itself to saying things better left unsaid. Last week, during a visit with my folks, my 92-year old dad accidentally wore his hearing aid in the shower. As he handed my mother the wet device, out came her vocalized thoughts. “I hope you didn’t ruin it!” Being me, I said, “That wasn’t kind to say.” Only after the words left my mouth did I realize we were both guilty of shaming and blaming. Thankfully, my family now places value on speaking our truth, not our mind, so both mom and I took responsibility and apologized for our unhealthy words. Mom let Dad know he’s still a strong man who simply made a mistake anyone could, and I acknowledged mom for all the hard work she puts in daily to keep her husband of 59 years going strong! May you use these strategies to deepen your relationships, not just on Thanksgiving, but every day, making the world around you a more blessed place. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Colette Carlson
According to Walter Isaacson, biographer and author of Leonardo da Vinci, an important takeaway from the genius painter is that “being curious about everything not only makes you more creative, it enriches your life.” Turns out the artist who painted the Mona Lisa (and is often credited with the inventions of the parachute, helicopter and tank) also listed “Describe the tongue of the woodpecker” in a journal of things he wanted to know more about. The quality of curiosity is gaining momentum as a powerful and crucial asset. In fact, Zander Lurie, CEO of SurveyMonkey, recently wrote, “This singular trait, curiosity, will determine which firms will thrive and which ones will stumble.” Curious leaders uncover employees’ strengths and curious salespeople ask richer, more thoughtful questions of their clients. Curious administrators proactively seek out vital information to better manage their supervisor’s schedule. Furthermore, scientific findings support an actual change in our brain chemistry when we are curious, helping us learn and retain information more readily. Inquisitive new employees reportedly adjust more easily to their positions, contribute to innovation, even think of better ways to do their job. Given the vitalness—now more than ever—of being curious, how can you leverage this trait? Some of us are naturally more curious than others, but if you sense you’re deficient in this area, stimulating your curiosity levels will benefit both you and your workplace. And it might even be FUN!
As you find ways to maximize yours, take comfort in these recent words of Bill Gates: “This is a phenomenal time to be a curious person.” Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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