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By Amy Dee
With everything that's happened in the last year, life in America seems more stressful than ever. But have you noticed that people cope with stress differently? As a funny motivational speaker, I have a bird’s eye view of an industry that turned upside down when our country closed in March. Like everyone else, all my speaking events postponed. Lots of speakers dealt with cancellations. Suddenly, virtual speaking became the only option. People Cope With Stress Differently That’s when I saw how differently people cope. Some speakers decided virtual wasn’t for them, so they are waiting it out. Others reluctantly dragged themselves into virtual but are still floundering today. A select few charged head-on into virtual speaking, now they love it and say they’ll never return to live events. You’ve seen it yourself. Some people face pressures directly. They are mentally flexible. These people flourish and grow through tough times. While others pretty much curl into a ball and hide. Let’s start by recognizing that stress gets a nasty rap. But truthfully, not all stress is bad. In fact, a bit of pressure is necessary to get you out of bed in the morning. Good stress helps you get things done; bad stress messes you up. In this article, I summarize stress categories so you will better understand stress. After that, I’ll give you tips you can quickly apply to build your stress resilience. You Already Know Stress Can Be Harmful By now, you’ve undoubtedly heard of the perils of stress: sleep disruption, increases in the stress hormone cortisol, cardiac stress, and depression. In addition, it can make you irritable, obese, and wreak havoc on your relationships. As if that isn’t enough, you may experience G.I problems, have difficulty thinking, and find yourself isolating. The list goes on. The truth is that Chronic Stress correlates, in degrees, with all of these awful, scary effects. Without a doubt, this is terrible. None of us want to be a lonely, irritable, fat, gassy, depressed person with heart and relationship problems. At first glance, it appears that stress should be avoided like the plaque The Other Truth About Stress While this awful stuff can be real, this isn’t the entire story. Here two important things to also understand about stress. Stress also has lots of significant and positive benefits. and… The way you look at stress is even more critical than the amount of stress you experience. Different Types of Stress To clear this up, I’ll identify the different types of stress. Normal Stress (Eustress) Eustress is a situation or event when a bit of stress shows up, then quickly leaves. This stress can be beneficial. It may give you a burst of energy that helps you get things done. In addition, it may create an incentive that allows you to focus and improves your performance. Example: Despite speaking to thousands of people yearly, I get a little burst of eustress before I grab the stage. This stress helps me sharpen my focus; it makes me alert and completely present. Ultimately eustress improves my performance. Distress Distress is harsher stress. Although it doesn’t last long, it does cause significant disruption. The effects are serious but short-lived. After experiencing distress, we usually return to a normal state. Example: You trip during your morning jog (a reason I do not jog). You suffer minor injuries but recover. Traumatic Stress Traumatic Stress is a big deal. It is profound. After this experience, your beliefs and assumptions may change. You recover over time, but you are forever changed. Heavy or unrelenting traumatic stress may outmatch your capacity to cope. As a result, you may experience fatigue, exhaustion, or even a breakdown. Example: A natural disaster such as a hurricane rips apart your home. You or a loved one becomes diagnosed with a major health problem such as cancer. The Persistence of Stress Stress can also be categorized based on how long it lasts. Acute Stress Acute Stress is the most common form of stress. It may be a result of pressure and demands from the past or the future. Acute stress is exhilarating and exciting in small doses, but too much becomes exhausting. Example: You arrive at work excited and ready to roar. But by 3 pm, you are drained and ready for a break. If you don’t take time to recharge, you risk making critical errors. Episodic Acute Stress Some of you may suffer from acute stress frequently. Perhaps your life is pummeled continuously with chaos and crisis. You may be juggling lots of demands and find it challenging to keep them all afloat. Episodic acute stress causes you to experience acute stress reactions, i.e., becoming short-tempered, over-aroused, anxious, irritable, and tense. You may have lots of nervous energy. You may rush about but find yourself often late. At times you can be abrupt and irritable, causing you to respond to others with hostility. In the end, you may harm your relationships. Example: You may self describe as a worry wart or a type-A personality. These characteristics can create frequent episodes of acute stress. Chronic Stress Chronic Stress is the eroding stress that wears you down bit by bit over a long time. Unfortunately, people experience this when they can’t see their way out of a bad situation. You may experience constant demands and pressures for seemingly never-ending periods. Eventually, your hope depletes, and you quit looking for solutions. Chronic stresses may come from traumatic, internalized early childhood experiences that make the present painful. Eventually, your view of the world or your belief system eternalizes this constant stress. The world becomes a threatening place. You may feel you must always be perfect. Worst of all, you may normalize feeling this way. You get used to it. You forget that this unpinning pressure is even there. Long Term Effect of Chronic Stress Because acute stress is new, you immediately notice it. On the other hand, chronic stress becomes easy to ignore because it’s old and familiar. Oddly enough, it may even become almost comfortable. Your physical and mental resources erode. This lack of resources makes the symptoms of chronic stress are more difficult to treat. Extended medical, as well as behavioral treatment and stress management, may be required. Example: Chronic Stress may come from being in a dysfunctional family situation or living in the stress of poverty. You may feel trapped in a hated job or career. Inside, not outside response to Stress Let’s face it, too often, our first response to stress is to look for help outside ourselves immediately. We download productivity apps or invest in productivity software. These promise to help us reduce distraction, add hours to our day, and make our lives easier. Or instead, we look for more get more help at the office or home. We consider switching careers. Sure some of these solutions can help. But more often than not, these external fixes are superficial and temporary because the answer lies inside, not outside of you. Remember Your Power In order to manage long term stress, you must find your internal power before looking for external solutions. By strengthening your resilience superpower, you can turn problems into challenges and difficulties into opportunities. Resilience Resilience, according to The American Psychological Association, is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress (such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors). In other words, resilience is “bouncing back” from tough situations and painful experiences. The great news is that research continuously shows that resilience is ordinary—not extraordinary—and that people commonly demonstrate resilience. Research also shows that our resilience muscle can strengthen by choosing to respond positively to difficult times. To be clear, emotional pain and sadness are common when we have suffered through trauma or major adversities. Furthermore, resilient people don’t live on cloud nine; they also experience difficulty or stress. Truthfully the road to resilience is likely paved by considerable emotional distress. That said, resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. Instead, resilience is a process. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that resilience involves thoughts, behaviors, and actions that can be learned and developed in all of us. 3 Steps To Resilience Unless you live under a rock, you already know that eating right, sleeping enough, and exercise are essential. All of these help you better deal with stress and increase your resilience. Instead of rehashing these critical factors, I’ll introduce a few mental tools you can use. STEP ONE: Find Your Locus of Control Locus, according to Merriam-Webster, means a place where something is situated or occurs. Do you have an Internal or External Locus of Control? If you are uncertain, you can take a quick quiz to determine the position and strength of your locus of control. To sum it up, people with an internal locus of control believe that their actions determine the rewards they get during their lives. Conversely, those with an external locus of control believe that their behavior doesn’t matter that much. Instead, they think that life’s rewards are outside of their control. Your Locus of Control is important because… Resilient People have an Internal Locus of Control. In other words, Resilient people believe that they are in control of their lives. While these folks understand that they can’t always control what happens to them, they know that they can control their responses. Having an internal locus of control makes a huge difference in our attitudes and the course of our lives. Fortunately, you can develop your internal Locus of Control. Here are three quick tips to consider: CHOICE: Remember, You always have a choice. No matter what happens, it is YOU who decides how you will cope. It is YOU who decides what resources you will seek out. It is YOU who decides the language you will choose to describe this challenging time. TRUTH: By telling yourself the TRUTH Saying “I have no choice” or “I can’t” isn’t honest. You always have a choice. You may not like the option available, but you do have a choice. At times you may have the opportunity to change a situation. At other times, your choice may be to accept the situation gracefully. No matter what, you choose. Brainstorm: Brainstorm your choices When you feel stuck, create a list of every possible course of action. Don’t judge your options, just scribble them down. This list will help to remind you of your choices and keeping you from feeling stuck. You’ll remember that even though there are things you cannot do, there are also things you can do. When feeling overwhelmed and stuck, remember Viktor Frankl, who suffered from three years in horrific Nazi concentration camps and lost most of his family. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl writes: “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl (March 26, 1905–September 2, 1997) STEP TWO: SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE Resilience people accept that life will always be full of difficulties. Because this is true, they understand that they need to be flexible and open to change. They don’t have a victim mentality. In other words, no self-pity, feeling victimize or look for someone to blame. Instead, they look for the positive benefits of facing stressors. Recognizing that growth comes from experiences and mistakes, they look for actionable forward-moving steps. Kelly Mcgonigal’s research (see this TED talk) compared people with a positive attitude about stress to people who have a very negative attitude about stress. Her research found that people with an equal amount of stressors are not equally affected in negative ways. Instead, only people with a negative outlook about stress have an increased risk of these adverse consequences (death, illness, etc.). In short: your perspective of your stress matters more than the number of stressors you experience. In essence, Your perspective about stress affects how you experience it. Your attitude matters. You can shift your perspective and grow your “resilient attitude” by being aware of the positive aspects of facing stressors. Understand that stress is a part of every life. Realize that stress enhances your ability to grow and get stronger. When you shift your perspective, you change your perception. Changing your perspective is process. Therefore, with greater awareness and clarity about your power, you will better handle stress and strengthen your resilience. Step Three: Relationships: Get support. No man is an island. People with low social support are more likely to develop depression in the presence of chronic stress. In fact, strong social support helps protect people against the harmful effects of stress. In addition, the brain of a stressed person has lower adverse chemical effects when they have high levels of strong social support. We all know that when it comes to facing challenges, our friends help lighten the load. Resilient people are likely to have secure networks of social support. They also tend to cope well with stress and to stay healthier and happier throughout life. Certain feelings and behaviors are signs indicating the need for prompt, professional help. Important warning signs are:
Seek Help if you are overwhelmed If you feel that your resilience is crumbling, you should seek help without delay. NAMI is an essential national alliance that offers mental health support. https://www.nami.org/Support-Education The National Suicide Prevention Hotline offers 24-hour telephone support a 1-800-273-8255. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org Human beings are amazing creatures. We’ve mastered flight and traveled to the moon. We’ve developed language, writing, electricity, photography and the internet. Vaccines, music, wind and solar power, theory of relativity and quantum physics have all been created by us. So, how is it that such intelligent creatures, still struggle with managing stress? The good news is, we have the power to change. We can better manage our stress and increase our resilience through a mindful approach to life. Stress resilience is a process, a journey…not a destination. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker!
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By Amy Dee
Best Laid Plans Years ago, I was to sing at a friend’s wedding. The bride had been planning every detail of this event for over two years. At one point, she called me in a panic, saying, “I am just so afraid something will go wrong.” “Count on it,” I responded. The wedding day arrived. It was a brilliantly sunny day with mild temperatures. Five hundred guests sat in the church adorned with glorious bouquets lining the altar and pews as gentle harp music rippled through the air. Everything was perfect. Shift Happens Toward the end of the service, fourteen attendants stood beside the bride and groom to receive a special blessing. Suddenly, a thunderous retch, the sploosh of liquid, and a resounding thud interrupted the service. The bride’s brother had vomited and passed out cold at the altar. The church exploded with 487 guests gagging and running to the bathroom, while a guest doctor and family members jumped to assist the fallen groomsman. Moments later, ambulance sirens screeched to a halt outside the church. EMTs raced in with a stretcher for the tuxedoed, vomit-covered groomsman. A few brave guests armed with handfuls of paper towels mopped up while the attendants washed splatters off their formal wear. Forty minutes later, everyone (painted in various shades of green) harnessed their emotional resilience to resume their places. The ceremony restarted with a rancid-sweet-flower smell permeating the air. In the end, the bride and groom married and the reception was fun. Despite my friend wanting to kill him, her brother, hungover from the bachelor party, recovered. Even after years of planning out every detail of her wedding, shift happened. The Human Need to Predict As human beings, we have a distinct feeling of being able to internally pre-experience future events. Because of this feeling, making constant plans for our future comes naturally. Pre-experiencing the future allows us to “try out” various possibilities, which can be handy. The problem comes when we mistake our pre-experience tryouts for facts. Thinking doesn’t make it real. Human beings are notoriously bad at predicting the future. Life never precisely happens as planned. When plans are successful, our innate ability to adjust and adapt makes dreams come to fruition. Good News! You’ve Got This! Experiencing a worldwide pandemic is new to all of us. Despite this, here is good news: Within you is a deep, untapped reservoir of resilience that will help you survive and thrive during and after this pandemic. Life will not be the same because life never is the same. Our lives are in a constant state of change. But our remarkable ability to adapt makes most challenges and changes barely noticeable. Think about it: you and everyone else out there has experienced and survived some challenge. Most of us have thrived through difficulties: the death of a loved one, conflict in a relationship, illness, pain, job disappointments, and fear. The truth is, you were resilient long before COVID-19 came along. You will figure this out; you will adapt. You can not only survive, but thrive. This is a choice. Jason Moser Ph.D. of Psychology at the University of Michigan, who has published multiple studies on human emotions, cognition, and the ability to rebound from adversity, says, “Humans are a highly adaptive species” as are many others in the animal kingdom “so we’ll figure out how to get to living in a new world and be okay.” Overcome Stress at Work COVID-19 presents a unique set of concerns about work, including:
Whether you are experiencing stress at work, at home, or both, the following tips will help you increase your self-reliance and build your emotional resilience. Gratitude Let’s start with the most straightforward bit: gratitude. Gratitude practices can not only help you overcome stress at work. These can also help you better manage any hardships or challenges that come your way. Building emotional resilience is about control and perspective. A Gratitude practice allows you to stop and reflect on the good instead of overlooking it and passing it off as unimportant. Of equal importance, gratitude also will enable you to pause and put some space between your impulse and your actions. This space allows you the ability to choose. It gives you the control and perspective you need to make the right decisions while dealing with challenging situations. Keep a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down your blessing and your thoughts about the gifts you’ve received each day. Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to write and reflect on the good things that happened during the week. Choose three to five things to identify each week. As you write, think about the sensations you felt when that blessing came to you. Reframing Reframing is an excellent tool for building your emotional resilience. Reframing works because it requires you to look for positives in a situation. A Reframing Metaphor: The camera and director There are always many ways to view a situation. As a metaphor, let’s say your Uncle Bob is videotaping your family’s Thanksgiving dinner. Uncle Bob can focus his camera lens on the massive pile of dirty cooking pans by the sink or focus on the family laughing together while enjoying their food. When you shift your perspective, you change your perception. Here is an incredibly useful reframing tool I use in my everyday life. Humor One way this humor helps is by allowing us space to detach or distance ourselves. Humor also helps strengthen group stability and social support. As a result, you will be more effective during challenging situations. Humor makes challenges tolerable. Don’t let feeling frustrated and stressed keep you from finding the fun and joy in life. Humor is powerful. It can weaken negative emotions and flip a negative mood into a positive one. Finding the funny redirects you towards solutions to the problems that created your negative emotions in the first place. It eases the tension you feel and gives you greater control over the challenges you are facing. Humor helps keep everyday irritations in perspective. Most (not all) problems are pretty small when you consider the big picture. We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control our response. So count your blessings, shift your perspective, and laugh. Building resilience happens by making choices, one challenge at a time. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker! By Amy Dee
Snow bombarded us again, another five inches. Steve woke up groaning about shoveling, but after clearing the driveway, he shook off the white powder saying, “What a beautiful day! It’s nice to get outside right away in the morning.” Same driveway, same snow, same chore, so what changed? Steve’s point of view shifted. Your point of view depends on your framing of the situation. Reframing is a technique to create a different way of looking at a circumstance, event, or person. By moving the frame, you can change what you see and how you see it. You shift your perspective to change your perception. Brainstorming is a method for generating ideas to solve a problem. I use brainstorming every day to gain new insights, work through issues, and improve my creative thinking. During the next few days, write lots of reframes to your current thinking. Seek quantity, not quality. Write as many ideas as possible, no matter how outlandish or bizarre. Do not criticize or analyze the value of the ideas generated. Why so many reframes? Helpful friends would often advise me, “Instead of being afraid of flying, just remind yourself that flying is safe.” The problem is that considering the opposite doesn’t generate enough energy to create change because my fear of flying was like a well-worn mountain path, deeply embedded in my thinking. Creating a new path means cutting through lots of weedy thinking. Brainstorming lots of reframes is like slicing repeating slicing through the weeds. Remember, it doesn’t matter how ridiculous, keep writing. I wrote things like, “if the pilot passes out, maybe I will be a hero and land the safely land the plane” and “During bad turbulence, I might be a hero and keep everyone calm.” (You see a bit of a pattern here, right?) I promise that you will generate great thoughts along with the dumb stuff. Try this: Write out 15-30 Reframes. See your perspective change. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker! By Amy Dee
My mom’s house sold recently. This was GREAT NEWS. Within moments, I heard my daughter was on her way to the ER because of a minor accident. “Can’t I enjoy five minutes of peace before the next storm hits?” I whined. This summer has been a succession of mini storms. Mom’s serious fall derailed a short vacation. A leisurely transition into our new home became frantic when we needed to move Mom the same week. Delayed flights forced me to sleep overnight in the Atlanta airport. On and on. This morning, I realized that my experiences are life’s natural flow of ups and downs. Both good and bad things happen in everyone’s life. Too often we think happiness relies on the quantity of these trials and successes. Lots of good stuff makes us happy, while lots of bad stuff makes us unhappy. This isn’t true. The sum of happiness doesn’t come from the number of ups and downs. Happiness results in how smoothly we transition through both the painful and the painless moments. Nothing in our life is permanent. Like the weather, everything changes: our moods, emotions, relationships, goals, etc all change. When clouds show up, we don’t curse the sky, believing that the storm will last forever. When the sun shines, we know the clouds are minutes or days away. Good or bad experiences don’t define our lives; they are just small pieces in the big picture of our overall life. Once we recognize the impermanence of our lives, we no longer need to hold on to either the “good” or “bad” moments. We value every moment when we conclude it happened for a reason, and when recognize it won’t last forever. So next time you feel bad, remember, like clouds in the sky these moments will pass. And next time you feel good, appreciate the moment of sunshine, because, ultimately the clouds will drift in. Remember the saying attributed to Vivian Green: Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning how to dance in the rain. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
Recently, I took a long phone-less walk in the neighborhood. Before I left my iPhone behind an internal debate raged “What if I get a business call?” or “ What if my mom or my kids need me?” to “What if I miss a good deal on eBay or great recipe on Facebook?” Surrendering the battle, I left my phone on top of some boxes in the garage and closed the door. Sad, because years ago, bc (before cells), a long walk alone was precious thinking time. Now I have to convince myself to leave without it. What gives? It turns out, applications and websites are engineered to get us scrolling as often as possible. One study says smartphone owners consult their device an average of 150 times a day. Smart phones have hijacked our brains. How? Dopamine is a neurotransmitter enables us to see rewards and move toward the rewards. Fast food joints know that sweet, salty and fatty foods captivate the brain’s reward circuit in much the same way that cocaine and gambling do. Smart phones similarly bewitch our brains. The most prosperous sites and apps hook us by tapping into our deep seated human need for social approval and connection. Just like Pavlov’s dogs began to salivate, anticipating food at the ring of a bell the smart phone’s every ding, buzz, and vibration keeps us scrolling through our phone, salivating for more. What now? Take back your life by taking a break. Turn off your smart phone notifications. Make a commitment to take time away from your phone daily, so you can reconnect to the here and now of everyday living. Because? Sans the phone my walk was more enjoyable. I noticed the lush green grass, watched kids practicing softball, petted dogs and greeted other pedestrians along the path. I overheard some birds’ angry conversation with a naughty squirrel and observed a tiny black ant dragging an enormous french fry home. Pretty cool stuff and I didn’t even once have to find a shady spot to check my phone. Life is a gift, but you must be present to win. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
“Honey, Costco called, said they had to throw out the samples ’cause you didn’t show up.” my husband jokes for the 5327 time, and again, I wanna choke him and bury him in the backyard. Because, even a funny joke told repeatedly loses its luster, and this one was lame from the get go. The fact is, I enjoy food samples, and everyone knows Costco has the best. Sometimes I buy stuff, but more often than not, I am there to eat. Costco is just down the street, so I lunch there several times a week. After eighteen months of membership, I’ve watched the Sample Giver Outers enough to find three unique types as follows: The “I hate this job, and I hate you” Sample Giver Outer He doesn’t talk, wears both a head and beard hairnet (which screams “you might eat a whisker!”) he sulks behind his tray and sneers when you take a sample. Warning: Do not make eye contact with this soul sucker; at best, you’ll wonder if you smell like cat poop and at worst you’ll end up a pile of fuming ashes. The Memorably Weird Sample Giver Outer A lucky sighting, I spotted one in Sam’s Club years ago. Pushing seventy, wearing bright orange lipstick and peacock feather earrings, she gyrated to silent music behind her toaster oven, using come-hither hand signals to lure in customers. I enjoyed watching her from a distance, but I was too scared to reach for a sample. The Meredith Sample Giver Outer Meredith is so awesome that she gets a category of her own. ( If you wonder how I know her name reread the fourth paragraph.) “Come on over here and try this aged cheddar” Meredith smiles as she holds out her tray “Now isn’t it delicious? It won Kickapoo Valley Cheese of the month, and this whole grain bread won’t bust out a tooth!.” While munching she continues, ”Now imagine this in grilled cheese and mayo sandwich. Meredith’s pears are “so sweet you can taste summer” Her breakfast sausage is “spicy enough to kick-start your morning.” But she doesn’t just hand out samples, Meredith gives directions, helps customers find items, hands out recipes and spends extra time with the older guests who want to chat. Meredith is the Gold Standard in the world of Sample Giver Outers. I guess she isn’t highly educated or wealthy. Probably in her late 60’s, with gray hair; she’d blend into a crowd. But seeing Meredith makes me smile every time I dine at Costco. You might say Meredith hands out a bit of her kindness and joy with every sample. Like I said, she is awesome. Here’s my point: unless you believe in reincarnation, it appears you have just one life to live. During this life few of us will become famous actors, multi-million dollar business moguls, or geniuses who discover life-saving cures. Most of us won’t make the headlines, but you know why that doesn’t matter? Because… YOU are a MIRACLE. It’s true. People who like math much better me have considered the odds are that your ancestors survived disease and war, the chances that your parents met and then hooked up, and the odds that one egg and one sperm joined to create you. And these number wizards have estimated that the probability of you being born about one in 400 trillion. That’s a miracle. You are a miracle. So, whether you spend your days handing out samples at Costco or doing ADLs for an elderly client or teaching a child to read. Or you spend your days cleaning public restrooms, laying carpet, managing a convenience store or selling door to door. No matter WHAT YOU DO…the Miracle is WHO YOU ARE And every day, in every interaction you represent the phenomenal, never before and never again YOU. So today, show us the miracle of you. “Whatever you are, be a good one.” Abraham Lincoln Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
Every day you make a multitude of choices that have the potential to create happiness.
In between impulse and action, there is a space called choice. Your happiness horsepower lies in those commonplace decisions. Our prosperous lives create lots of options. When faced with a decision, be mindful. Stop and breath to create a space so that you can ask yourself, “Which choice best serves me?” Short term satisfaction may be pleasing in the moment, but it could steer you off the path to a long-term goal. Conversely, a boring or challenging decision at the time may lead to greater life satisfaction later. Use mindfulness to harness your happiness horsepower. Just breathe to use the power of choice. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
You don’t have to be great to start: You have to start to be great. The Covid19 shelter- in-place order creates opportunities to develop new skills. Don’t allow inexperience to stop you. Start. Both embarrassing and hilarious errors occurred while I learned to speak Norwegian. After a few weeks of Norwegian lessons, I expressed my affection to my father-in-law by saying, “Jeg elsker deg.” Turning bright red, Knut quickly left the room. His reaction confused me until I discovered that “elsker” refers to a romantic/sexual love. Obviously, unless you are on the Jerry Springer show, this is not ok to say to your father-in-law. After many lessons and lots of practice, I become comfortable enough to chat away in Norwegian. You don’t have to be great to start: You have to start to be great. Believe me, sewing isn’t my thing. Discouragement hit me in middle school when my home-economics short pattern ended up looking like a beach bag with legs. Despite this initial failure, the coronavirus inspired me to make masks, so I bought a cheap sewing machine. My first seam looked like a two-year-old’s plate of spaghetti. After six hours of instructional YouTube videos and a creative blend of bad words, I managed to thread the machine. The first mask looked like a doll diaper with strings. My second mask fit Tia, our toy poodle. The third mask covered my entire face and neck, so it may become a pillowcase. After several more epic fails, and despite crooked seams that resemble my bite before braces, I created masks that work. The shelter-in-place order allows you to hone brand new skills such as writing, pole dancing, or bread baking. No matter what you choose, START, because… You don’t have to be great to start: you have to start to be great. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
Many years ago, Mom snagged two last-minute tickets to Oprah’s “Live Your Best Life” tour with Cheryl Richardson. Our fantastic aisle seats were on the floor just four rows away from the stage. As an emerging speaker, I envisioned being pulled onto the stage with Oprah, where we’d connect so profoundly that I’d replace Gayle as her best friend, (I like Gayle, but you know how it is to be the third wheel). In my fantasy, thirty pounds of fat would magically plop off my body like an industrial size bag of lumpy, wet flour. I’d have six-pack abs, defined biceps, and cheekbones (think 5’2” Jennifer Lopez). I’d wear tight red, sleeveless dresses as a regular guest on the Oprah show (stop rolling your eyes, a gal’s gotta dream.) The show was about to begin. Our amazing aisle seats gave me easy access to the stage. There was one empty, inside chair beside us, but otherwise, it was a full house. I was mentally rehearsing my opening line to Oprah when a tall woman appeared next to me and leaned down to ask, “Would you mind moving over so I can sit in the aisle seat?” Mom (4’11”) is soft-spoken, polite and ladylike. If it were fashionable, she would still host teas, serve capered canapés, wear white gloves, patent leather shoes with a matching purse. So it shocked me when my mini Mom threw the lady her killer stink eye and roared, “NO!” Embarrassed, I turned back to look for the lady and saw she was being mobbed for autographs. The woman who asked us to move so she could take our aisle seat was the author Cheryl Richardson, who’d soon join Oprah on stage. The electric atmosphere had increased Mom’s stress level. Instead of responding thoughtfully, she reacted from her lesser self. She wishes she’d been kinder. Not just because it was Cheryl Richardson, but also because she wasn’t her best self. The coronavirus pandemic is amping up stress levels everywhere. We see incredible acts of kindness. We also see some nastiness. IT’S TOILET PAPER, PEOPLE! To borrow from the song, “This is one moment in time to be more than you thought you could be.” Someday, when our lives return to normal, we will reflect on our behavior during this crisis. Let’s choose to volunteer where possible, help each other out, and be kind. Let’s act from our better selves so we can be proud of who we are, because even in crisis, we have a choice. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
At a recent speaking engagement, I found myself in need of a five copies of a one sided handout. In a rush, I ran from the event room to the hotel desk where I saw several employees standing around a copying machine in the back office, laughing and chatting with each other. When one woman disengaged enough to address me, I explained my need and asked very politely if she could please run just five copies of the handout. I offered to pay, whatever she thought fair, for those five copies. She responded “I’ll check” and disappeared into the back office room, now closing the door. A few moments later the woman returned, handed back my paper, saying with a smile “I am sorry we are unable to help you.” Really? Who is your company to a customer? Your company is not the radio jingle, the slick campaign slogan or CEO. Your company is your employee who delivers (or not) the service. Great companies create, support, and celebrate employees who look for kindness and connection opportunities. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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