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By Amy Dee
My mom’s house sold recently. This was GREAT NEWS. Within moments, I heard my daughter was on her way to the ER because of a minor accident. “Can’t I enjoy five minutes of peace before the next storm hits?” I whined. This summer has been a succession of mini storms. Mom’s serious fall derailed a short vacation. A leisurely transition into our new home became frantic when we needed to move Mom the same week. Delayed flights forced me to sleep overnight in the Atlanta airport. On and on. This morning, I realized that my experiences are life’s natural flow of ups and downs. Both good and bad things happen in everyone’s life. Too often we think happiness relies on the quantity of these trials and successes. Lots of good stuff makes us happy, while lots of bad stuff makes us unhappy. This isn’t true. The sum of happiness doesn’t come from the number of ups and downs. Happiness results in how smoothly we transition through both the painful and the painless moments. Nothing in our life is permanent. Like the weather, everything changes: our moods, emotions, relationships, goals, etc all change. When clouds show up, we don’t curse the sky, believing that the storm will last forever. When the sun shines, we know the clouds are minutes or days away. Good or bad experiences don’t define our lives; they are just small pieces in the big picture of our overall life. Once we recognize the impermanence of our lives, we no longer need to hold on to either the “good” or “bad” moments. We value every moment when we conclude it happened for a reason, and when recognize it won’t last forever. So next time you feel bad, remember, like clouds in the sky these moments will pass. And next time you feel good, appreciate the moment of sunshine, because, ultimately the clouds will drift in. Remember the saying attributed to Vivian Green: Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning how to dance in the rain. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success!
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By Amy Dee
Recently, I took a long phone-less walk in the neighborhood. Before I left my iPhone behind an internal debate raged “What if I get a business call?” or “ What if my mom or my kids need me?” to “What if I miss a good deal on eBay or great recipe on Facebook?” Surrendering the battle, I left my phone on top of some boxes in the garage and closed the door. Sad, because years ago, bc (before cells), a long walk alone was precious thinking time. Now I have to convince myself to leave without it. What gives? It turns out, applications and websites are engineered to get us scrolling as often as possible. One study says smartphone owners consult their device an average of 150 times a day. Smart phones have hijacked our brains. How? Dopamine is a neurotransmitter enables us to see rewards and move toward the rewards. Fast food joints know that sweet, salty and fatty foods captivate the brain’s reward circuit in much the same way that cocaine and gambling do. Smart phones similarly bewitch our brains. The most prosperous sites and apps hook us by tapping into our deep seated human need for social approval and connection. Just like Pavlov’s dogs began to salivate, anticipating food at the ring of a bell the smart phone’s every ding, buzz, and vibration keeps us scrolling through our phone, salivating for more. What now? Take back your life by taking a break. Turn off your smart phone notifications. Make a commitment to take time away from your phone daily, so you can reconnect to the here and now of everyday living. Because? Sans the phone my walk was more enjoyable. I noticed the lush green grass, watched kids practicing softball, petted dogs and greeted other pedestrians along the path. I overheard some birds’ angry conversation with a naughty squirrel and observed a tiny black ant dragging an enormous french fry home. Pretty cool stuff and I didn’t even once have to find a shady spot to check my phone. Life is a gift, but you must be present to win. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
“Honey, Costco called, said they had to throw out the samples ’cause you didn’t show up.” my husband jokes for the 5327 time, and again, I wanna choke him and bury him in the backyard. Because, even a funny joke told repeatedly loses its luster, and this one was lame from the get go. The fact is, I enjoy food samples, and everyone knows Costco has the best. Sometimes I buy stuff, but more often than not, I am there to eat. Costco is just down the street, so I lunch there several times a week. After eighteen months of membership, I’ve watched the Sample Giver Outers enough to find three unique types as follows: The “I hate this job, and I hate you” Sample Giver Outer He doesn’t talk, wears both a head and beard hairnet (which screams “you might eat a whisker!”) he sulks behind his tray and sneers when you take a sample. Warning: Do not make eye contact with this soul sucker; at best, you’ll wonder if you smell like cat poop and at worst you’ll end up a pile of fuming ashes. The Memorably Weird Sample Giver Outer A lucky sighting, I spotted one in Sam’s Club years ago. Pushing seventy, wearing bright orange lipstick and peacock feather earrings, she gyrated to silent music behind her toaster oven, using come-hither hand signals to lure in customers. I enjoyed watching her from a distance, but I was too scared to reach for a sample. The Meredith Sample Giver Outer Meredith is so awesome that she gets a category of her own. ( If you wonder how I know her name reread the fourth paragraph.) “Come on over here and try this aged cheddar” Meredith smiles as she holds out her tray “Now isn’t it delicious? It won Kickapoo Valley Cheese of the month, and this whole grain bread won’t bust out a tooth!.” While munching she continues, ”Now imagine this in grilled cheese and mayo sandwich. Meredith’s pears are “so sweet you can taste summer” Her breakfast sausage is “spicy enough to kick-start your morning.” But she doesn’t just hand out samples, Meredith gives directions, helps customers find items, hands out recipes and spends extra time with the older guests who want to chat. Meredith is the Gold Standard in the world of Sample Giver Outers. I guess she isn’t highly educated or wealthy. Probably in her late 60’s, with gray hair; she’d blend into a crowd. But seeing Meredith makes me smile every time I dine at Costco. You might say Meredith hands out a bit of her kindness and joy with every sample. Like I said, she is awesome. Here’s my point: unless you believe in reincarnation, it appears you have just one life to live. During this life few of us will become famous actors, multi-million dollar business moguls, or geniuses who discover life-saving cures. Most of us won’t make the headlines, but you know why that doesn’t matter? Because… YOU are a MIRACLE. It’s true. People who like math much better me have considered the odds are that your ancestors survived disease and war, the chances that your parents met and then hooked up, and the odds that one egg and one sperm joined to create you. And these number wizards have estimated that the probability of you being born about one in 400 trillion. That’s a miracle. You are a miracle. So, whether you spend your days handing out samples at Costco or doing ADLs for an elderly client or teaching a child to read. Or you spend your days cleaning public restrooms, laying carpet, managing a convenience store or selling door to door. No matter WHAT YOU DO…the Miracle is WHO YOU ARE And every day, in every interaction you represent the phenomenal, never before and never again YOU. So today, show us the miracle of you. “Whatever you are, be a good one.” Abraham Lincoln Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
Every day you make a multitude of choices that have the potential to create happiness.
In between impulse and action, there is a space called choice. Your happiness horsepower lies in those commonplace decisions. Our prosperous lives create lots of options. When faced with a decision, be mindful. Stop and breath to create a space so that you can ask yourself, “Which choice best serves me?” Short term satisfaction may be pleasing in the moment, but it could steer you off the path to a long-term goal. Conversely, a boring or challenging decision at the time may lead to greater life satisfaction later. Use mindfulness to harness your happiness horsepower. Just breathe to use the power of choice. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
You don’t have to be great to start: You have to start to be great. The Covid19 shelter- in-place order creates opportunities to develop new skills. Don’t allow inexperience to stop you. Start. Both embarrassing and hilarious errors occurred while I learned to speak Norwegian. After a few weeks of Norwegian lessons, I expressed my affection to my father-in-law by saying, “Jeg elsker deg.” Turning bright red, Knut quickly left the room. His reaction confused me until I discovered that “elsker” refers to a romantic/sexual love. Obviously, unless you are on the Jerry Springer show, this is not ok to say to your father-in-law. After many lessons and lots of practice, I become comfortable enough to chat away in Norwegian. You don’t have to be great to start: You have to start to be great. Believe me, sewing isn’t my thing. Discouragement hit me in middle school when my home-economics short pattern ended up looking like a beach bag with legs. Despite this initial failure, the coronavirus inspired me to make masks, so I bought a cheap sewing machine. My first seam looked like a two-year-old’s plate of spaghetti. After six hours of instructional YouTube videos and a creative blend of bad words, I managed to thread the machine. The first mask looked like a doll diaper with strings. My second mask fit Tia, our toy poodle. The third mask covered my entire face and neck, so it may become a pillowcase. After several more epic fails, and despite crooked seams that resemble my bite before braces, I created masks that work. The shelter-in-place order allows you to hone brand new skills such as writing, pole dancing, or bread baking. No matter what you choose, START, because… You don’t have to be great to start: you have to start to be great. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
Many years ago, Mom snagged two last-minute tickets to Oprah’s “Live Your Best Life” tour with Cheryl Richardson. Our fantastic aisle seats were on the floor just four rows away from the stage. As an emerging speaker, I envisioned being pulled onto the stage with Oprah, where we’d connect so profoundly that I’d replace Gayle as her best friend, (I like Gayle, but you know how it is to be the third wheel). In my fantasy, thirty pounds of fat would magically plop off my body like an industrial size bag of lumpy, wet flour. I’d have six-pack abs, defined biceps, and cheekbones (think 5’2” Jennifer Lopez). I’d wear tight red, sleeveless dresses as a regular guest on the Oprah show (stop rolling your eyes, a gal’s gotta dream.) The show was about to begin. Our amazing aisle seats gave me easy access to the stage. There was one empty, inside chair beside us, but otherwise, it was a full house. I was mentally rehearsing my opening line to Oprah when a tall woman appeared next to me and leaned down to ask, “Would you mind moving over so I can sit in the aisle seat?” Mom (4’11”) is soft-spoken, polite and ladylike. If it were fashionable, she would still host teas, serve capered canapés, wear white gloves, patent leather shoes with a matching purse. So it shocked me when my mini Mom threw the lady her killer stink eye and roared, “NO!” Embarrassed, I turned back to look for the lady and saw she was being mobbed for autographs. The woman who asked us to move so she could take our aisle seat was the author Cheryl Richardson, who’d soon join Oprah on stage. The electric atmosphere had increased Mom’s stress level. Instead of responding thoughtfully, she reacted from her lesser self. She wishes she’d been kinder. Not just because it was Cheryl Richardson, but also because she wasn’t her best self. The coronavirus pandemic is amping up stress levels everywhere. We see incredible acts of kindness. We also see some nastiness. IT’S TOILET PAPER, PEOPLE! To borrow from the song, “This is one moment in time to be more than you thought you could be.” Someday, when our lives return to normal, we will reflect on our behavior during this crisis. Let’s choose to volunteer where possible, help each other out, and be kind. Let’s act from our better selves so we can be proud of who we are, because even in crisis, we have a choice. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
At a recent speaking engagement, I found myself in need of a five copies of a one sided handout. In a rush, I ran from the event room to the hotel desk where I saw several employees standing around a copying machine in the back office, laughing and chatting with each other. When one woman disengaged enough to address me, I explained my need and asked very politely if she could please run just five copies of the handout. I offered to pay, whatever she thought fair, for those five copies. She responded “I’ll check” and disappeared into the back office room, now closing the door. A few moments later the woman returned, handed back my paper, saying with a smile “I am sorry we are unable to help you.” Really? Who is your company to a customer? Your company is not the radio jingle, the slick campaign slogan or CEO. Your company is your employee who delivers (or not) the service. Great companies create, support, and celebrate employees who look for kindness and connection opportunities. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
I was sixteen when my family vacationed in Cartageña, Columbia. The first evening, we strolled along the pristine beach, enjoying the brilliant sunset and roar of the ocean when we suddenly heard cries of help. A man and two women frantically screamed as waves crashed over them, and the tide dragged them further from the shore. An Australian man tore off his shoes and dived into the ocean. He rescued the drowning man, and my dad saved one of the women. There were no lifeboats or lifeguards and tragically the third victim was too far into the ocean for anyone to reach. Powerless and horrified, we watched this helpless woman struggle against the surge until a final crest stole her away. It was heartbreaking. Still in shock, we met the Australian man and his wife at the hotel restaurant the following morning. As we rehashed the tragedy, I recall the Australian telling us that he swam in the ocean daily. He warned us that powerful riptide could quickly pull a swimmer to their death. He added this advice: “If caught in a riptide, never swim against the tide because you will tire quickly and be pulled into the sea. Instead, swim with the tide, parallel to the shore. It will save your strength, and you will eventually swim out of it.” Recently my friend and I were commiserating on the slop bucket of difficulties that seems to have dumped into our lives. “Between my family’s issues, my problems at work, and my husband bad health I wonder if I have a target painted on my head!” she laughed, wiping away a tear. Haven’t we all felt this way at one time or another? Of course, we don’t actually believe that an unknown force is out to get us. But it can be overwhelming when problems pile up. We can feel victimized over and again. Let’s make the analogy that life is like a swim in the ocean. One moment you are frolicking in the sunshine filled with happiness, feeling that delightful high. The next minute a riptide shows up. Maybe an uninsured, unemployed teenager smashed into your parked car. Perhaps in a heated moment (after a few glasses of wine), you told off your nasty sister-in-law, and now the family reunion is canceled because of you. Or, your company headquarters is moving to the bowels of New Jersey, and you just built your midwestern country dream home. Or, during your morning shower you felt a suspicious lump on your breast. Whatever the difficulty, the riptide of complications has smacked you in the face and yanked you into a sea of gloom. If caught in a riptide, stop fighting. Instead, try the following:
Have faith that no storm will last forever and beyond the clouds lies your rainbow. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
Some time ago, I was eating at the Twin Dragon in Mitchell with my daughter Sofi. We were laughing and talking about school, friends, and teachers when a young boy and his mother sat down at a table close to us. As soon as they sat down, they each took out their cell phones and began texting and playing games. Throughout their meal, they were so absorbed with their phones that they exchanged only a few words with each other. They ate quickly and left. Seeing this family’s disconnect reminded me of how easy it is to become distracted in today’s world. Endless choices compete for our attention. iPhones and computers allow us to choose worldwide contact day or night. You must choose an entree from many menu options. You might pick a box of tea from twenty or more on the grocery store shelf. Will you put away phone or check your facebook page during a conversation with your mother? Every day offers a plethora of unending options. This constant stream of choices can cause a disconnect to the present moment. We must consciously choose to stay connected to our AM (activity of the moment) or PM (person of the moment) because the mere “ping” of a text message can grab our attention away. These days, IPhones and computers give us a connection to each other, but we seem to lack connection with each other. We can drive and chat on our phone without experiencing the scenery around us. We can talk with a friend while checking out groceries without acknowledging cashier. We can eat dinner with our family while texting friends. Multitasking causes us to lose our connection with the present moment. Just for today, tuck away your cell phone and consciously interact with your now moments. While grocery shopping, be engaged by noticing the colors and the sounds, and activity that surrounds you. Say ‘hello” to fellow shoppers. Listen deeply to your conversations. Pay attention to words as well as the facial expression, the intonation and feelings behind those words. Look into their eyes and give them your full attention. Consciously paying attention to your person of the moment will enhance your connection. Concentrating on your activity of the moment will allow you to savor everyday experiences. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By Amy Dee
Your heart is beating with excitement; jumping to your feet, you fist pump the air, joining the chants of those around you shouting: “I CAN DO THIS!” Bursting with renewed self-belief, you fly out of the seminar grounded only by the books and CDs purchased (in a frenzy) to maintain the high. At home, you create your vision board. The speaker’s voice on the CD reminds you of the unlimited potential you must awaken to live the life of your dreams. When negative thoughts scratch their way in, you fist pump them away yelling “I CAN DO THIS!” Your life is going to change! And it does… Your dog eats a bad french fry resulting in a staggering veterinary bill, and your dream promotion is given to an unworthy co-worker. In a hissy fit of despair, you binge on alcohol, fast food and QVC until you run out of money and steam. You awaken to a maxed-out credit card and a 12-pound weight gain. Your “giant within” has shrunk to an undersized troll living under a mystical bridge. The motivational book glares at you from the coffee table. The speaker’s voice, once inspiring, now fills you self-loathing. How did that glow of self-belief disappear with a couple puffs from the bad luck dragon? The truth is, the glow was never going to last. While a great inspirational talk can jack up some temporary positive feelings; it cannot bolster your self-belief. Your self-belief will not increase by feel-good speeches, bumper sticker lines on facebook or catch phrase about your greatness. Self-belief is self-grown. Self Belief is grown by struggling through adversities, by pushing yourself to finish when you want to quit and by keeping promises you make to yourself. Four not-instant ways to enhance your self-belief:
The truth is “You can do this!” the question is “Will you?” Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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