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By Courtney Clark
If you’re planning to make some new year’s resolutions this week, you probably expect to stick to them. Resolutions can be motivating and help you reach your goals. But there’s one big mistake I’ve seen lots of people make when it comes to setting new year’s resolutions, and it means your resolution is definitely going to fail. You Don’t Become Someone Else On January 1st One of my dear friends loves picking up new hobbies. Every year or so she learns another skills or takes up a hobby with plans to become a master. One year, she set her sights on yoga. “I’ve been so stressed,” she said. “I’ve done some yoga, and it makes me feel more peaceful. I think I should take yoga teacher training and become a full-time yogi. If I did that, then I’ll be able to live a more peaceful life.” I call it the Fairy Godmother Fantasy – the hope that you could wave a magic wand and turn into someone else. Often when we set our new year’s resolutions, we’re really wishing we could just become someone else. If I could just lose the weight, then I would be a healthy person. If I could just finish my degree, then I would be a confident person. If your new years resolution doesn’t bear any resemblance to who you are right now, it’s not a good resolution. It’s probably going to leave you frustrated. If Cancer Can’t Do It, New Year’s Day Can’t, Either I thought cancer might make me a different person. But it didn’t. Neither did a brain aneurysm. I have a greater appreciation for life, sure. But I’m still the same person I was before. If I’M still the same person at my core, even after writing my own funeral service and sealing it in an envelope in my bedside table, just in case, then the calendar turning over to January 1st isn’t probably going to magically make you a different person, either. And in reality, it shouldn’t. In many of the conversations I’ve had with my friends in the cancer world, we’ve talked a lot about whether cancer has changed us. Even my friends who found out their cancer was terminal reported that the news didn’t completely change who they were. My friend Becky said it best: “Heck, I’m already getting a lot less time than I wanted, to be me on this planet. Why would I want to stop being me any sooner than I have to?” “You-but-better” is a cliché you’re probably sick of hearing. Sadly, you-but-better is probably the right path forward. You can’t wave a magic wand and become a different person on January 1st. You can’t immediately become a more peaceful person just by taking up yoga. You can’t become a naturally healthy person by dropping a few pounds or quitting smoking. You can change your habits, but no habit-change will make your life completely different. By setting realistic expectations, you’ll save yourself a lot of frustration come April. This January 1st, listen to Becky. Don’t spend your time on this planet trying to be someone else. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success!
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By Courtney Clark
There’s nothing really wrong. Things are mostly going pretty well. So why can’t you just… be happy? Seriously, it’s not that hard. Except… it is. Just “being happy” turns out to be a lot more complicated than it sounds. For starters, some people’s brains just don’t naturally cooperate with society’s expectations of happiness, because of depression or anxiety. For other people, we anticipate we’ll be happy when we reach a certain goal, or have a certain experience, but it doesn’t happen automatically. Admit It: The Holidays Sometimes Stink For a perfect example, just look at the holidays. This time of year, we’re expected to be happy. We should either be basking peacefully in the glow of the reason for the season, or bouncing joyfully between friends and parties and glitter-covered wrapping paper. But what we get instead is stress, overwhelm, and disappointment. See, expectations of happiness often ruin actual happiness. If we feel like happiness is REQUIRED, or else we must be broken, we put so much pressure on ourselves that happiness becomes nearly impossible. Who can be happy on demand? Probably not you. Who Needs Happiness, Anyway? In fact, studies have shown that the things that make us ACTUALLY happy are pretty hard to predict. Happiness doesn’t always come from the things we think it comes from, because a greater sense of overall joy in life comes from feelings like “meaning” and “significance.” Happiness and meaning are similar, but different, according to research out of Stanford. If you’re looking for happiness that’s longer-lasting, go for meaning, not contentedness. But I Just Want A Little Joy Just because it’s not so easy, that doesn’t mean you should give up on being happy. It just means you won’t find it in any of the presents under the Christmas tree. For a deeper, longer-lasting happy, try these strategies:
Don’t let happiness and the actions that bring true happiness end up buried at the bottom of your to do list in your busy life. Find what matters most and bring some meaning to your days. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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