By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
Every day offers the same opportunity: To invest in activities, efforts, work and conversations that build others up or choose attitudes, words and actions that push others down. Our choice not only profoundly influences how we feel about this life, but also the lives of those around us. Although it’s been more than five months since I’ve flown, many of my past experiences travelling, in airports and working on the road continue to influence me. Years ago, I was settling into my seat, buckling up, getting out a snack, setting up my laptop, and stuffing my journal into the seat pocket (yes, I have the travel needs of a 4 year old!), I overheard an unusual conversation a row behind me. An elderly-sounding woman shared with the person next to her that this was her first trip since the death of her husband. She mentioned she was nervous to travel, but was looking forward to talking with someone on the trip. The gentleman responded curtly, “Lady, I am really sorry to hear about your husband. But, I am using this flight for sleeping, not talking.” Now, I am not judging the man. My flights are reserved for working, reading and writing. But something in her voice spoke to me. It reminded me of the many times I’ve needed someone to talk to; or the times a friend has wanted to share something with me. Do this one thing to find more meaning in your life. Finally set up and ready to tackle my to-do list, I shut the laptop, turned around and asked the gentleman if he wouldn’t mind changing seats with me. The next 2 hours and 10 minutes I received a spoken memoir from a new friend named Helen. She shared about her impoverished childhood, unlikely marriage, experiences during World War II and raising her children. Her stories of sleepless nights, happy times and intense losses held deep truths about the agony of death, power of faith and gift of love. She shared of losing two of her four children to separate accidents, a grandchild to AIDS, and most recently, a husband to heart failure. She shared not for attention or pity, but to impart the wisdom that in spite of the innumerable challenges of life, the journey forges us into the individuals we are perfectly intended to become. Hours earlier I left the comfort of my seat and the work I wanted to accomplish to switch seats for her. As we landed, unbuckled our seat belts, stood and hugged goodbye, I realized it was actually entirely for me. We all have so much to teach, and learn, when we make time for genuine connection with others. Helen reminded me that it’s not in the doing and achieving we find success, but in the willingness to be present and open to possibilities. Sometimes those possibilities reveal themselves in the least likely of places and people – like an older, lonely woman who just wanted to talk. A woman, if given the chance, could teach a lot about relationships, marriage, children, war, peace, family, faith, and death. And what it means to actually live. My friend, these are difficult times. It’s easy to get stuck in the rut of negativity and believe there have never been days as challenging as these. It’s all too common to feel that the best days are behind us and we are isolated – even when we are surrounded by others. That’s why it is more important than ever to remember the way you get meaning in your life: Devote yourself to loving others, to your community around you and to striving to make a difference. There are innumerable opportunities to live like this, yet we must shut off the media, step away from the negativity, get out of our comfort zone and open ourselves up to first see them, and then to ultimately learn from someone else. Perhaps it’s time to unbuckle and switch seats. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker!
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By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
Big plans for big improvements: That was my expectation on the dawn of 2021. Goals were set to improve finances, grow spiritually, respond relationally with love and to take my health more seriously. By the end of the very first day of 2021, I had already reacted with anger, spent money foolishly, eaten poorly, not worked out, enjoyed a glass of wine more than I actually needed and invested very little time praying, reflecting, meditating and giving thanks. In other words, by the end of the very first day I had failed at every single personal goal I had set. So much for New Year’s resolutions! As I went to bed that evening, I was comforted knowing that I’m on the final days of a family vacation. I’m just out of my normal schedule. A little tired. A little cranky. I’ll get back on track soon… Maybe tomorrow… Or when I’m home. Or when life slows down. Or… When we get too good at making excuses, we’re unable to own the power within our lives. We miss the opportunities of the day. And I was at high risk of missing out on owning the power of my life because of excuses. Are there areas of your life where you keep making excuses? Perhaps you’re like me and it’s a failed New Year’s resolution. Other areas we frequently make excuses include:
So let’s agree to stop making excuses for why things are the way they are. And let’s start striving to make them better. The New Year began last week. But the rest of your life starts now. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
“Is that all?” It’s an innocent enough question. Unless it’s being asked by one of your kids on Christmas morning. The holidays are said to be the most wonderful time of the year. They can also be incredibly busy and stressful. Several years ago, we went to church with Beth’s family Christmas Eve and then drove to my parents’ house to reconnect with cousins, eat dinner and open presents. As it got late, we drove our 3-, 5-, 7- and 9-year-old kids back to visit Beth’s family, enjoy a late dessert, more holiday cheer, sing Christmas songs and open more presents. After an exhausting day, we dragged our four little ones out of the party, tethered them into car seats, drove them home, carried them to their rooms and tucked them into their beds. Fueled with a glass of wine, Beth and I then assisted Santa with wrapping presents, laying them around the tree and stuffing stockings before finally collapsing into bed. As the sun began to peek over the horizon, little footsteps pitter-pattered down the hallway, into our bedroom, loudly pronouncing the dawn of Christmas morning. Pulling their mom and dad out of bed, the kids tugged us downstairs, raced to their stockings, grabbed their presents, tore into their gifts, devoured their candy. Beth and I sipped our coffee, wiped the sleep from our eyes, and savored the little ones around the tree, presents in hands, wrapping paper scattered on the floor. Then, our oldest looked up after opening his last present, face saddened, and asked, “Is that all?” Is that all?! After dealing with the traffic and crowded stores and racing around to get you these special gifts that were on your list, you’re going to ask, “Is that all?” After all the parties we raced to and outfits we shoehorned you into and pictures we took of you and cookies we baked with you, you’re going to ask, “Is that all?!!” After wrapping presents and stuffing stockings and laying them around the tree and eating three bites of carrots and sipping milk from Rudolph’s bowl before going to bed at 3am you’re seriously going to ask, “Is that all?” Counting Our Blessings With all those thoughts dancing around my head, I took a sip of coffee, then a deep breath, looked back at my little man and reminded him, “No. This is not all. There is so much more. The presents and paper and cookies and cards are just an excuse to celebrate what this thing, this day, this life, is really actually about.” I then reminded him that real joy, real peace and real love are seldom wrapped, rarely arrive through the chimney and are generally not found under the tree. Sometimes they arrive as an old friend, a gentle snow, a new love, a family tradition. Other times they can grow out of financial woes and relational challenges, health scares and flight delays. And sometimes the greatest gifts, those that lead to the most profound joy, are birthed when no one is around, no one notices and no one even fathoms the transformation that has just arrived. My friends, as you clean up from the holiday season and prepare for the New Year, take pause to celebrate and rejoice in the amazing blessings already present in your life. Be in awe of the fact that the seemingly good and the bad of your life has already led you perfectly to where you are today and providentially to what’s possible tomorrow. I wish you good health, total peace and absolute joy in the New Year ahead. It’s my belief that the best is yet to come. Looking forward to living into that truth with you. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
Even as we step away from work, gather with family, celebrate the season and prepare for the new year, it’s easy to feel discouraged. With countless depressing headlines, deepening cultural divides and so many conflicts, we’re susceptible to suffocating in fear. When we add the chronic societal challenges to our own struggles, layered with the seasonal burdens of getting the right presents for the right people, wearing the right clothes to the right parties, decorating the house just the right way, it should surprise none of us that depression and anxiety are at their highest levels around the holidays. But a simple Christmas card challenged me – and invites the rest of us – to have a very different perspective as we move into this week. Beauty in simplicity Many people send out Christmas cards this time of year, typically featuring pictures of smiling kids, happy couples, cute dogs, new homes. Many include images of beautiful Christmas trees, Santa leaving gifts, Snoopy driving sleighs, or nativity scenes. But it was a seemingly bland card – with a seemingly odd message – that had the most significant impact. On a plain blue card weren’t pictures, images, families or snowflakes, but four words: “Do Not Be Afraid.” It seemed like a strange message for the holiday season. Why lead with a message of fear around the holidays? Why not send pictures of puppy dogs and snowflakes and Santa Clause and kids looking just perfect? Kind of a dark message, right?! Then I remembered the first words Mary heard from the angel: Do Not Be Afraid. And the first words heard by Joseph in a dream: Do Not Be Afraid. And the first words a bunch of shepherds heard while tending to their flocks: Do Not Be Afraid. Then I thought of the woman who sent this card. She was recently widowed, struggling with intense grief, dealing with loneliness, facing uncertainty. And I understood the grand simplicity and profound truth of her card. My friends, many of us are carrying a heavier weight of concerns into this week. Some wrestle with the agony of imagining four more years with this president, others remain furious that the Democrats impeached their president. Some struggle with our $22 trillion in national debt, others with how they’ll pay the December gas bill. Some feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship and others ache to be in a relationship. We all carry insecurities and anxieties into this week and into the final days of 2019. And then we are reminded of a fundamental truth too frequently overlooked this time of year: Do not be afraid. It was a message delivered some 2,000 years ago that transformed the lives of those who listened. Perhaps there’s value in heeding these words in our lives today. This is your day. Do not be afraid, and Live Inspired. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
They don’t get medals, don’t march in parades. As we commemorate Veterans Day, let’s pause to give thanks to a seldom recognized group who demonstrate true sacrifice, genuine courage and selfless love. For the United States military, the tip of the spear responsible for the ultimate success and safety of the entire armed forces is the Joint Special Operations Command. The JSOC consists of the most elite Special Forces from every branch of the military. It is charged with carrying out the most dangerous, classified and sensitive missions. Several years ago – at the JSOC compound – I had the immense honor of speaking to this group and afterwards was fortunate to meet many of these remarkable leaders. I met with the analysts and contractors, security personnel and cooks, janitors and translators, chaplains and of course, the ‘Operators.’ The ‘Operators’ are the Special Forces team members so often glorified in books and movies. They heroically accept the most dangerous, classified and crucial work. And yet, the most emotional conversations weren’t the ones with the folks with the highest security clearance or who had participated in the most extraordinary raids. The sacrifice at home No. The most emotional conversations were with the spouses of those currently serving. These are the unnamed and rarely celebrated champions who don’t wear uniforms, don’t get medals and don’t march in parades. These are the individuals who fall in love, marry their sweethearts, start families, and recognize the reality that they married someone who is frequently gone, always in danger and never able to discuss it. These are the partners who pick the kids up from school, do the cooking, laundry, shopping, dinner, dishes, homework checks, bedtime routines, assuring little ones that mom or dad will return home soon… and then go to sleep by themselves questioning the assurance they just provided. English writer and poet, G.K. Chesterton, wrote it best when he said, “Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die.” A strong desire to live. Taking the form of a readiness to die. That’s powerful. That’s love in action. And that sums up the truth lived out by the JSOC. Perhaps no group embodies it more perfectly, though, than the remarkable spouses. On this Veterans Day My friends, as you step into your week, let’s pause and remember why we celebrate Veterans Day. Let’s give thanks for all the veterans who have served and actively serve our country. And let’s be mindful of the sacrifices being made, not just by our armed forces, but also by the unnamed army of spouses racing after children and leading households for months at a time while their partners serve our country. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your virtual event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to book your healthcare speaker! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
There is no easy way, and certainly no singular right way, to say a final goodbye to a loved one. Perhaps as close to perfect as I’ve ever heard, though, is the way attorney, diplomat, author and life-enthusiast Bob Goff said goodbye to his dear friend, Carol. Let me explain. Bob Goff is vibrantly alive. He’s also possibly the most loving guy I’ve ever met. That love shines through in all he does, but perhaps it shone most brilliantly in how he treated his neighbor, Carol, as her cancer spread and she neared the end of her life. As Carol became more ill, Bob wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. He wanted to remain in constant contact with her. And he wanted their communication to feel playful, whimsical, even life-giving. So, what did he do? He bought a walkie talkie set. Laughing Like Little Kids Carol had one walkie talkie and Bob the other. They communicated like little kids, talking throughout the day and sometimes even late into the night. As days passed, Carol’s voice softened and her breath became more labored. In one of their evening chats Bob asked if there was anything she’d wanted to do, but hadn’t yet done? There was a long silence on the other end of the walkie talkie, then a little static, and then a labored response from Carol that she had never in her life toilet-papered anyone’s house. Although typically a law-abiding citizen, Bob needed no arm twisting. A few days later, with arms full of toilet paper rolls and wearing disguises, the two snuck out. Carol held Bob’s arm for support, they crossed the street and began toilet-papering their neighbor’s two large trees. It was the middle of the day. As toilet paper came thudding down on another one of their friend’s trees, they laughed like little kids. Carol had the time of her life. It was a generous, unusual, and beautiful -albeit illegal- gift Bob gave his dying neighbor. But it wasn’t his last. For more than a decade, their community had hosted a large neighborhood parade and encouraged everyone to participate, drawing hundreds each year. Years earlier Carol had presided over the parade as queen. She was known by all. But this year, she was far too weak to leave the house, let alone walk in it. Resting in bed, listening to the joyous sounds of the parade as it approached her house, she was surprised when she heard Bob’s voice in the foyer. A nurse guided him back to Carol’s room. Bob brought his two sons, got permission from the nursing staff, and the three Goff boys gingerly bent down, picked up their fragile neighbor, and carried Carol from her bed to the front window of the house. What Carol didn’t know was that the parade wasn’t just passing by her house this year. No, this year the parade was concluding in her front yard. As she sat in a chair, weakened and dying, hundreds of friends walked up the street, then down her walking path, and in various ways thanked Carol for being their neighbor. Some left flowers, others balloons, and many brought cards, but all shared through waves, words and tears that her life meant something to them, that she mattered, and that she wouldn’t be forgotten. Through tears, the former queen of the parade blew kisses to her friends from her living room throne. Just two days later, Carol would take her last breath. How Can We Help Others Realize the Purpose of Life? Making people feel special, worthwhile, appreciated, alive. My friends, we all have the capacity for this kind of impact as we guide friends and family at the end of their lives. But the reason I share this story isn’t about getting ready to die. It’s actually about deciding to start living. Because after all, the purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. And we shouldn’t just do this on our own. No, we should encourage others to join us. In doing so, we elevate not only our lives, but the lives of those we love. This is your day. Live Inspired. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
“History teaches us that unity is strength, and cautions us to submerge and overcome our differences in the quest for common goals.” -Haile Selassie He’s black. I’m not. He’s fiercely liberal. I’m not. He grew up poor. I did not. His dad wasn’t around. Mine was. He never graduated high school. I did. He’s divorced. I’m not. He’s childless. I have four kids. Perhaps most divisive: He loves cats. I have allergies to them [and much prefer dogs!] This is a partial list of the wall of differences that separated my driver and me on a recent commute. There was nothing from our backgrounds, interests or beliefs that suggested a possible connection between the driver up front to his passenger in the back. And yet, in spite of all the reasons we shouldn’t get along or that we should maybe even hate one another, Al and I laughed, agreed, and connected to such a degree during our 30 minute transit that we exchanged phone numbers, committed to staying in touch and even hugged goodbye. Three Tips for Making Connections With the divisiveness in our communities, it’s essential we reconnect with one another. And so, I’d like to share three simple strategies to elevate not just your business commutes, but conversations you have at the coffee shop, in the boardroom and around the family table. Here’s how: 1.Own the conversation from the start (Don’t wait!) In reading this, you probably assume the suggestion here is to get the first word in, be more adamant, and set the stage for winning the debate. Plenty of examples of owning conversations like this exist in our political landscape today and on our cable news programs at night. But my suggestion is very different. Before the business meeting, sales call, or conversations at home commence, speak these words: “I love you. And, no, there is nothing you can do about it.” Now, you may want to whisper them to yourself, otherwise the driver of the car or the person on the other end of the phone may get scared! But I’ve found these words open wide our ears, soften our judgements, slow our responses, and create space for healthier, more productive conversations. So, love them from the start. And, no, there is nothing they can do about it. 2. Actively listen as if they are the only person (They are!) “Actually, most people just sit back, look down, and bury their head in their phone. After enough one-word answers, I usually just stop asking questions.” This was Al’s response when I asked if he had lots of fascinating conversations with those he drives. Yes, we’re all busy. Yes, the demands to be more productive weigh on us all. But to share the same air with someone… for 30 minutes… and to never look up, make eye contact, share, listen and connect? The inability to stay focused on the individual in front of us isn’t exclusively reserved for passengers in the back seat of town cars. Look around the coffee shops, business meetings and places of public gatherings. We are distracted by technology. Texts summon us. Beeps beckon us. Facebook pokes us. Google alerts us. All keeping us from being fully engaged in the conversations. And it happens in our homes, too. Overscheduled, under pressure, tied to work, and busy with the unimportant, we lessen our ability to connect in positive ways with our children (negatively affecting their self-esteem), with our partners (negatively affecting intimacy and connectivity), and with ourselves (negatively affecting our sense of who we are and what actually matters). It’s a big deal! So, put it down. And look up. 3. Be passionately curious as if their opinion actually matters (It does!) “How do you know?” This is my eight-year-old son Henry’s favorite question. While it occasionally gets frustrating to explain why we need to leave now or we’ll be late….or we need to study spelling words or we’ll fail…or we better get gas now or we’ll run out…there’s a lot to be said about asking clarifying questions. There are plenty of ways to ask elucidating questions. How do you know? Can you tell me more about that? Why does that matter to you? In asking these types of questions during a conversation two remarkable things happen. The first is that on a topic we were previously ill-informed, we now have actual clarifying information. Growing from the perspective of another matters around political divides, decisions within our businesses, or interactions at home. And the second is that the person sharing actually has the opportunity to elaborate, be heard, educate and perhaps even persuade another. Far from dividing, it actually serves as an awesome opportunity to unite. So, ask questions. Curiosity opens doors; certainty shuts them. We Must Become the Bridge Builders With another tragic shooting in a synagogue, pipe bombs in the mail, angry tweets online, loud protests on the streets, and yelling on television, it’s never been easier to disengage, to pull back and to become disenfranchised with it all. It’s never been easier to cocoon with others who share our opinions, to unfriend those who don’t, and to get busy doing the unimportant. In short, it’s never been easier to build walls that divide us. But today, choose a different building project. History teaches that unity is strength and the way forward requires coming together to overcome differences in the quest for common goals. The future belongs to the bridge builders. And it starts today, where you are, with the person in front of you, regardless of where you’re heading. You may not be converted into a cat lover, but the bridges you build may just lead to new information, the start of a new friendship, and a sincere hug goodbye. This is your day. Live Inspired. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
What would you like for your birthday? As one little girl prepared to turn nine, her answer to this simple question would change the lives of hundreds of thousands around the world and eventually bring some peace to an otherwise unbearable tragedy. Let me explain. Preparing for her ninth birthday, Rachel Beckwith sought to celebrate it like never before. After learning that tens of millions of individuals went without clean water every day, she asked her friends and family to forgo giving presents and to instead contribute on her behalf to charity: water. This little girl essentially exchanged gifts for herself for the promise of water for someone else. Although she fell short of her ambitious $300 goal, she told her family that next year she was going to do it again. Despite the minor defeat, she remained committed to making an even bigger difference for others. Rachel could not have known how prophetic her promise would be. Thousands Rally Around Rachel’s Goal On July 20, 2011, just weeks after Rachel’s birthday, a tractor trailer lost control on the interstate and sparked a 14-car accident. Although dozens of people were affected, only one was critically injured. A nine-year-old named Rachel Beckwith. Three days after being airlifted to the hospital, the tough, effervescent little girl died. The vibrancy with which she lived her life, though, not only attracted hundreds to celebrate her at her funeral, but to begin modeling her generosity through their lives. Upon learning that the only gift she wanted for her recent birthday fell slightly short of the $300 goal, an anonymous donor made up the difference. Rachel received the gift. Her ambitious and selfless goal was achieved. And that was just the beginning. News of her life, death and kind spirit spread throughout her community. People gave to honor a little girl who exemplified what generosity looks like in action. Many gave $9 a month to celebrate her age, a few others gave even more. What began as a gentle whisper of generosity spread throughout the region, the state, the country and beyond. In a marketplace where it’s typically bad news that travels quickly, the story of this little girl’s giving heart went global. More than $10,000 was given on the first day. More than $100,000 within a week. By the end of the month, 31,980 people from 50 states and dozens of counties contributed $1,271,713 to charity: water on behalf a Rachel Beckwith. The little girl’s $300 goal had been achieved. And even more so had her desire to make a difference. How Can We Follow the Example of Rachel Beckwith? My friends, Rachel didn’t become significant because of her tragic death. Instead, the manner in which she went about her life served as a wakeup call to the rest of us on what real success, real generosity, and real love look like in action. Through her lively spirit and desire to help others, she challenged thousands of others to do more through their lives. She also reminds all of us that what we do for ourselves dies with us. But what we do for others and for the world remains and is immortal. This is your day. Be Like Rachel. And Live Inspired. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
In fall 2018, the Powerball jackpot soared to an astronomical $1.5 billion. That’s $1,500,000,000.00!!! It was so high, received so much media attention, and garnered so much word-of-mouth buzz that many individuals who never play the lottery actually purchased tickets. The lure of being a billionaire and all the travel, homes, cars, meals, pleasure, impact, joy that came with it was simply too much to resist. And yet, study after study reports that the long-term buzz and gratification from instant wealth seldom endures. Perhaps even more surprising, it often brings more agony and unhappiness into the lives of the winners than before they had won. My favorite research around this comes from a 1978 study. Let me tell you about it. Undoubtedly, upon winning the lottery the lives of individuals change in profound ways. Wondering to what degree, a group of researchers from University of Massachusetts and Northwestern University interviewed three different groups about the level of happiness in their lives: recent lottery jackpot winners; a control group of less fortunate, non-winners (in other words, you and me!); and finally, recent victims of catastrophic accidents who were now either paraplegic or quadriplegic. The basis of the comparison doesn’t seem reasonably fair. And yet the findings were stunning. Is Happiness Relative? While the lottery winners reported the most happiness in the present, it was not overwhelmingly greater than the control group, and was just slightly higher than those who had endured a past catastrophic event. And after that, the lottery winners’ luck begins to run out. Asked how they viewed their upbringing, their past circumstances, and their memories, the clear winners on the happiness scale were actually those who had endured a tragedy. In fact, these individuals largely viewed their accidents as pouring the foundation toward something bigger, better tomorrow. Finally, and perhaps most important, when asked about the happiness discovered in the mundane - in other words, the small, but enjoyable things like eating, laughing at a joke, being in nature or visiting with friends - the least happy group were...check your numbers... the lottery winners. Overall, the study found that winning the lottery didn’t increase happiness as much as researchers thought it would, and a catastrophic event didn’t make people as unhappy either. It turns out that humans have a tendency of getting used to the things that once made them happy. This bend of taking things for granted is called the hedonic treadmill. In short, the baseline of what brought happiness yesterday requires more to bring the same level of happiness today. In fact, the authors of this 1978 study explain the hedonic treadmill in this way: Eventually, the thrill of winning the lottery will itself wear off. If all things are judged by the extent to which they depart from a baseline of past experience, gradually even the most positive events will cease to have impact as they themselves are absorbed into the new baseline against which further events are judged. Thus, as lottery winners become accustomed to the additional pleasures made possible by their new wealth, these pleasures should be experienced as less intense and should no longer contribute very much to their general level of happiness. And you don’t need to be a lottery winner to be at risk of being on this treadmill. What This 1978 Study on Happiness Means in Our Lives So, what does some study about lottery winners and accident survivors mean for you? My friends, the very thing we believe will finally bring peace, satisfaction and happiness into our lives seldom does. Money is great but fleeting, and it doesn’t ultimately satisfy. Rather than bringing happiness into your life, it actually just makes you more of who you already were. On the flip side, tragic life events are unwanted, unexpected and can be unbearably difficult to endure. But even tragedy doesn’t have to derail us. While it may make present days more difficult, it also reawakens within us what actually matters most. The luckiest, most blessed, most joy-filled among us aren’t the ones smiling because they won the state lottery. No, the real winners are those of us who are aware of the miracle within the mundane, rejoice in the gift within their life, and know that the little details of life are vital and lead to the big things happening. We ultimately “win the lottery” not by picking a series of random numbers, but by taking inventory of all we have, celebrating all we’ve been given, and believing the best is truly yet to come. Today is your day. Live Inspired. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
“What if we have to do this next year, too?” My daughter, Grace, asked this question last week after being informed the rest of her school year was canceled. Although having her dad around all the time for the past month is great, she misses her teachers, playing with friends and living her old life. She also feels like every day is just about the same as every other day. She’s far from alone. Numerous professional colleagues, personal friends and family members have referred to the past several weeks as if they were stuck in the movie “Groundhog Day.” In the movie, a cynical, insolent, self-centered weatherman named Phil Connors (played perfectly by Bill Murray), is doomed to repeat the same day of his life. Day after day, week after week, the arrogant reporter awakes in Punxsutawney, Pa. sees the same people and has no way to escape the profound sense of monotony. He feels isolated, lost, hopeless. With so many restrictions on where we can go, who we can see and what we can do, it feels like an appropriate analogy. And yet, while the monotony and misery of reliving the same day at first drives Phil Connors crazy, eventually it fuels him to harness the gifts within each day and become a far better version of himself. The man previously directed every thought, every word and every action to maximize what he could get for himself out of any situation. His life was entirely about him. In time, he recognizes his only real joy is found when investing totally in becoming better… so that he elevate the people around him. On the day he finally breaks the Groundhog Day cycle, Phil strives to enjoy his greatest day yet. A partial list of how he invested himself fully in that day includes:
My friends, at some point we all will look back on what we did during our Groundhog Days. Did we relentlessly stream “Tiger King,” catch up on 22 seasons of “The Simpsons,” and complain about the difficulties of being confined each day? Or. Or did we reach out to those in need, learn something new professionally, read a new book and become a far better version of ourselves? The day we currently live on repeat will eventually fade into the past. Let’s be like Phil Connors and not only expect a great day, but let’s strive to actually create one. This is your day. Live Inspired. Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to make your healthcare event a success! |
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