Responding in Compassion Even When You Don't Receive It

By Christine Cashen

As a seasoned traveler, I pride myself on getting through airport security like a pro — especially at DFW, my home airport. Imagine my chagrin to find TSA had installed a new inspection system and nobody called me!

Much like European airports, you approach a “station,” put your items in a bin, then push the bin to a conveyor that moves it through x-ray. If you’re lucky, your bin continues to the exit area without a hitch. FREEDOM! YAY!

If you aren’t lucky, a switch is thrown, like those on a train track, and your bag moves to the dark side, where it will be searched, and you shall be judged. NOOO!

As we all bumbled around our stations, the TSA worker kept repeating in a tired, monotone voice, “Everything in the bins…everything in the bins,” over and over and over. So what did I do? What I’ve done for years… I put my luggage up on the table (not in a bin) and proceeded to push it onto the conveyor.

Breaking Old Habits
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Suddenly the TSA agent stops being monotone and speaks pointedly to me, “I SAID EVERYTHING IN THE BIN!” Now, normally I do get a little irritated (okay, really irritated) when people don’t get it, but this time it was me. What? “EVERYTHING IN THE BIN!” Yes, she did say that.

So what was my problem? Fatigue? Habit? Lack of brain cells? I meekly said, “Even the luggage?”

Yikes! This was clearly her tipping point. She lost it! She started yelling about EVERYTHING meaning luggage too and why don’t I get that luggage is included in “everything?”

Is Compassion Out of Fashion? 

All she had to do was smile and say, “Yes, luggage too.” She’s have sidestepped the drama and saved me a lot of embarrassment. With inclement weather pouring down on the airport, I had a 4-hour delay to cool my heels and replay the scene, along with all the perfect things I could have said. Have you ever found yourself much smarter much later?!?

Then it hit me. Where was my compassion for her? She clearly drew the short straw and got stuck at the new checkpoint, and she probably had hours of clueless “newbies” on top of a wicked bad travel day for all. Maybe, instead of thinking about how she could have been nicer, I needed to flip it.

Rather than playing the victim, I could have moved the needle in a positive direction. Perhaps saying something like,  “Must be hard trying to break in new passengers to this system — especially when you just trained us on the old one.” I wonder how she would have responded if I’d taken this approach?

Part of the Problem? Or the Solution?

Looking ahead, chances are I’ll mess up again and get called out again. If not by her, by someone else. Will I respond differently? You bet. Bin there. Done that.
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