Reminding Others Why They Matter

This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.

Years ago while on a business trip to Milwaukee, Mark Sharenbroich discovered the power we each have to connect more fully with others. Let me explain.

Harley Davidson’s 100th-anniversary celebration had attracted enthusiasts from around the world to Wisconsin. From vagabond riders to weekend warriors, tens of thousands of bikers convened in the city. Although their backgrounds were wildly different, they had a simple, disarming way of connecting with one another.

Mark observed that, when one enthusiast approached another for the first time, the first words spoken were often: “Nice bike.”

These two words lowered barriers. Built a bridge of shared interest and mutual respect. And poured the foundation for genuine connection. Mark observed that, in acknowledging what was important to a fellow rider, an instant and authentic connection was made.

More importantly, he realized that what is true for Harley Davidson enthusiasts is true for all of us. Mark suggests three ways to deepen our connection with others:
​

1. Acknowledge. “The people in front of you have to be more important than someone on a screen far away,” Mark emphasizes. Do you confuse being next to someone as being with them? In a world that is sprinting forward and often self-focused, strive to put down the phone, set aside your needs, be present and look into the eyes of the person you are with.
2. Honor. Going into conversations, meetings, and relationships we often focus much more on our needs than anything else. It’s why we order our coffee without looking into the barista’s eyes; and why we formulate our response rather than fully listen. Flip the script. Go into your experiences valuing the other person’s needs. Make it your goal to create a rich experience around what’s important to him/her. You’ll see in the end that this will benefit you, too.
3. Connect. Just because we are part of the same team doesn’t mean we’re truly connected. Our opportunity in every relationship is to show sincere appreciation for the other and to make our appreciation personal. Think of not just wishing someone a happy birthday, but following up your well wishes by asking if she was able to spend it doing (fill in the blank with an activity you know she enjoys). Or how about noting what someone was worried about at your last meeting and checking in with them to see how it’s going the next time you see them. This more personal rapport will lead to a richer bond; showing you know who they are and that who they are matters.

My friends, it’s easy to get caught up counting our connections, likes, followers, and friends. But our goal should be to nurture, deepen and strengthen relationships, not collect them.

“Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued.” -Brene Brown

Today, whether you’re rolling into town on your Harley Davidson or hopping off the local bus: Remind others that they matter and the best is yet to come.

This is your day. Live Inspired.

Looking for your next healthcare speaker? Get in touch with us today to make your healthcare event a success!