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By Kristin Baird
Healthcare leaders want to see consistency. After all, that is the essence of a high reliability organization. It is important to hold everyone accountable for certain service behaviors to ensure that they happen consistently. The goal is that, with repetition, the behaviors become so engrained that everyone performs them almost without thinking about them. The term hardwiring has become industry jargon. There is a lot of merit in hardwiring behaviors, but it’s equally important to heartwire. Help people to see the why behind what you are asking of them and connect to the bigger goals, mission, vision, and values. I like to think about this as heart-wiring because as I’ve worked with people in various settings over the years, as a clinician, a leader, and now as a consultant, I’ve found that without a personal connection to purpose, service tactics can just feel like more work for employees. There are two key operating assumptions at work here:
HIRING Heartwiring starts during the hiring process. It involves careful selection of employees that mesh with the organization’s mission, vision, and values, as well as the department’s culture. Firstly, find out what draws the candidate to healthcare and how he/she makes a difference in the lives of patients. Similarly, have individual conversations that explore the candidates’ unique interests, hopes, and desires for the work they do and their career aspirations. Ask how they have driven high quality care and exceptional service experiences for customers in the past. Discuss what the mission, vision, and values of the organization is and how their role will contribute. COACHING Once hired, ongoing coaching and feedback will help to cement desired behaviors and actions throughout their employment. Coaching provides a series of continual conversations, connecting the work being performed to the bigger picture. Coaching helps employees see the connection between what they do and the organization’s success. RECOGNITION We all like to get kudos every now and then. Recognize the behaviors you want to see more of. Employees need to know they are valued and appreciated. Recognition lets them know that you see them and appreciate them. Tactics alone won’t engage the heart. In fact, tactics that don’t clearly connect to purpose sometimes fuel resentment. When laid out as an edict, they can be seen as just more tasks layered on an already over-stretched team. Help your team make the connection between the tactic, the purpose, and the organization’s mission, vision, and values. That way, they see how their work connects to the big picture. That’s heartwiring—that’s how you can ensure that each and every one of your employees not only knows what is expected of them, but believes that their actions make a difference. That’s how you ensure that employees know that, through their actions and behaviors, they are impacting the patient experience. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success!
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By Josh Linkner
Getting someone to take a chance on you is one of the most important steps to achieving success in both business and life. Yet mastering the art of persuasion is often overlooked and misunderstood. Alexander Fleming, the inventor of penicillin, was especially bad at communicating his discovery, despite it being one of the most important scientific advances in history. As a result, over 10 years were wasted and millions of lives lost because Fleming lacked the skills of persuasion. In contrast, the nefarious founder of the Fyre Festival, Billy McFarland, was masterful at getting people to back his idea, which turned out to be a giant fraud. Why do some ideas get backed and others bounced? And how can we become better at getting people to take a chance on us? That’s the exact topic of author Suneel Gupta’s new book: Backable – The Surprising Truth Behind What Makes People Take a Chance on You. Gupta researched the science of persuasion and deconstructed thousands of backable moments — from tech startups landing major funding to movie deals getting the green light — to illuminate the core principles of becoming backable. Most of us aren’t raising startup capital, but all of us can benefit from becoming more backable. For some, it’s scoring a long-overdue promotion at work. For others, it’s convincing your church or synagogue to embrace your new idea to grow membership. Being backable helps win the hearts and minds of clients, colleagues, business partners, investors, the media, neighbors, and even romantic partners. It turns out that being backable isn’t a unique genetic quirk but rather a learnable skill. Gupta goes on to share a specific methodology that any of us can embrace to become backable. Some of my favorite insights include:
Crucially, when we become more backable, we improve the outcomes of the things we care about the most. Before presenting your next big idea, first develop a concrete strategy to ensure you are backable. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Courtney Clark
Everybody gets stressed out by work. But regularly having a negative attitude at work can cause everyone to suffer: your coworkers, for having to put up with your negativity, and you, because you’ll miss opportunities and promotions in favor of people with good attitudes. #1 – You gossip or complain to coworkers This is the classic sign of someone with a bad attitude. Venting and gossiping at work is a telltale behavior of an employee who is feeling toxic and doesn’t care about bringing other people down with them. Venting feels good in the moment, but it’s been proven to be a poor strategy for relieving stress, because it fails to address the root problem. #2 – You shoot down your colleagues’ ideas in early stage sIf you find yourself rejecting someone else’s idea before you’ve followed the thought process through and really considered it, odds are good your colleagues are frustrated with you. It’s healthy for colleagues to question and test one another’s ideas. But if you shoot something down by saying “that’ll never work,” before the group has had time to really turn the idea over, you’ll be blocking conversation that can lead to good solutions. #3 – You feel tired most of the day Feeling that 3pm slump is normal. Feeling tired all day isn’t normal, and it’s a sign that you could be really disengaged at work. When I work with companies to help their teams build resilience, I remind them that burnout isn’t just about being busy – it’s about being busy plus having a lack of meaning and purpose in their work. If you feel like what you’re contributing doesn’t matter, then it may be hard for you to feel awake and excited to do your job. #4 – You aren’t respectful to the people lower on the company hierarchy I once worked with a guy who said “it’s not worth my time to care about Jan (at the front desk.) She doesn’t sign my checks!” What this guy didn’t know is that Jan often made decisions about which salesperson to transfer new callers to! Not to mention she ordered the company supplies, and could “rush” things if she wanted to. She was a good ally to have in your corner… but that guy didn’t know it. If you think it’s only worth kissing up to the higher-ups, your attitude could be harming your career more than you know. People notice, and people talk. Being respectful takes no more time than being rude, so make it a point to show respect to everyone. #5 – You don’t pay attention during meetings or conversations I get it: team meetings can interrupt your day and be a source of frustration. But tuning out isn’t the right solution. If a line of conversation doesn’t directly involve you, it’s a good idea to still listen, because it’s likely that somebody is going to get pulled into the conversation to answer a question or solve a problem. And if it’s you, you’re going to look silly if you were checking your phone or daydreaming about your fantasy football team. #6 – You have large responses to small annoyances My therapist calls this “turning a 2 into a 10.” Do you find yourself getting aggravated with everyday frustrations like somebody taking your sticky note pad? Or replying “thanks!” to an email chain that they could have just let drop? Sometimes we feel like life is frustrating, but it’s really our own reactions that are making us experience more frustration than we need to. #7 – You don’t care or seem invested in critical workplace issues When everyone else on your team is jumping to solve an important problem, are you hanging back? Being checked out at work can be particularly noticeable during a crunch time, when other people are spitballing ideas and getting creative. If you’ve lost your passion for your work, as we talked about in #3, then it’s hard to get invested in problem-solving. #8 – You respond to simple corrections by correcting the other person back Nobody likes being corrected. But watch your reaction next time somebody makes a small correction to your work. Do you find yourself wanting to correct a mistake of theirs? Or tell them why, in fact, your original version was right? It’s human nature to not enjoy being corrected, but successful companies are made up of employees with different backgrounds and strengths for a reason. The more eyes and hands on a project, the better the end result will be. Just take the direction, because we all need to get and give corrections sometimes. These 8 behaviors don’t have to mean you’re a bad employee – they could mean that you’re a good employee who’s on the verge of burning out. But whether it’s your innate attitude or unaddressed burnout, it’s critical to take action and curb these behaviors before they impact your work any more. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Vicki Hess
A WOW is something internal or external that makes you feel satisfied, energized and productive. Examples of internal WOWs include:
Examples of external WOWs include:
The WOW is in the eyes of the person who experiences it. As the name implies, a Potential WOW is something positive that might happen in the future. Think of the last time you planned a vacation and how excited you were while making arrangements. Remember how much fun it was in the days leading up to your big trip? Just the anticipation of seeing new places, partaking in an adventure, or visiting family is fun and feels good. When you’re experiencing the WOW of anticipation, your body relaxes and a smile comes to your face. You’re in a good mood and problems don’t seem so bad. Here’s some good news…Potential WOW’s aren’t just for vacations. They exist at work too! What’s something that your organization, department or team is planning that you’re looking forward to? Is there a new building in the works or a technology solution that will save everyone a lot of time? Are there new members of the team starting soon and you’re looking forward to having additional support to get your work done? These are a few examples of Potential WOWs at work. You can capitalize on these Potential WOWs and lower your stress. Take the time today to reflect on good things that are coming in the future. Talk them up. Enjoy the anticipation. After all, there’s no reason to wait until the actual experience happens to start feeling satisfied, energized & productive. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Laurie Guest
Maybe you’re like me. Many times over the past months, I have found myself paused in my path. It’s a pause that I can’t quite define, but it’s akin to indecision and that is not a road I find myself on very often. See, I’m a quick thinker and an even speedier decider. Ask anyone who has ever shopped with me. I’m good for one grand tour around the shop and then it is pay and go. If you’re a browser, I’m not your gal pal for shopping. When I create a plan in my business there is a healthy SWOT analysis, then I am off to the races, full steam. Looking back is not an action I was taught. In fact, my father many times would say to me, “Laurie, there is no sense looking in the review mirror, you can only focus on one direction and that is forward.” That’s why when the pandemic hit and most of us faced an abrupt change in how we conduct business, I didn’t freak out. I didn’t rush around and take quick action, I just faced forward. However, for the most part, I stopped moving at all. I stood still on purpose. Facing the unknown is like walking in a dense forest at night. Even with a flashlight in hand, you can only see a few feet in front of you. The darkness that stretches ahead is filled with the unknown, which can be scary. Turning and running back where you came from doesn’t help, it’s just as uncertain in that direction. The opposite reaction is to bravely put your head down and sprint as fast as you can and hope that you reach the other side without tripping on any hidden obstacles. Neither of those choices made sense to me. Moving cautiously, one small step at a time, while allowing myself the grace to rest and not keep up with everyone else was healthy for me. However, I knew that if I kept this mindset long-term there would be consequences, bad ones. Early on, I promised myself that after five months of pausing, I would make a decision on what my next action would be. My choices ranged from retire early to build a bigger boat, with a lot of options in between. In fact, it is mind-numbing the amount of options that exist for what I could do next. As the date approached, I realized that the real answer has to do with the flashlight, not the path ahead. It dawned on me that if I could use a brighter flashlight, I could see the path much better. With a little confidence, my strides could be longer and faster allowing me to pick up some momentum. Is that true for you too? Have you thought about how you can build a brighter flashlight? For me, I found my brighter flashlight in these three things:
A client recently asked me to do an hour–long program on confidence. This is a topic I have never spoken about before, so it forced me to stop and think about what goes into creating a confident self during challenging times. I had a blast giving the program, but what mattered most to me were the emails I received from several who watched the show and said it was just what they needed to hear right now. That’s when it occurred to me that maybe I can be a brighter flashlight for someone who only has a candle. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By John O'Leary. This was originally posted on JohnOLearyInspires.com. When John O'Leary was 9 years old, he suffered burns over 100% of his body and was expected to die. He is now an inspirational speaker and bestselling author, teaching more than 50,000 people around the world each year how to live inspired. John's first book, ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life was published March 15, 2016. John is a contributing writer for Huff Post and Parade.com. John is a proud husband and father of four and resides in St. Louis, MO. Order John’s book today anywhere books are sold.
How long should I stay mad? Don’t know about you, but I ask myself this question with far more frequency than I’d like to admit. It’s likely one you’ve wrestled with, too. Perhaps after a friend let you down, a coworker missed an important deadline, a child disobeyed, or a petty fight erupted with a family member. And with the added stress of the approaching holidays, we’ll likely have additional occasions of being somehow slighted, offended, or let down. So, let me ask again, how long should we stay mad? This was a question Walter Wangerin had to answer, too. He shares vulnerably in his book Ragman: And Other Cries of Faith, that he and his wife had frequent disagreements when they were first married. Hot-tempered and prideful, his coping strategy in those early days was to storm out of the apartment, slam the door and walk it off. Well, on one such occasion after a small disagreement, Walter angrily turned away from his wife, grabbed his jacket, put it on, stormed outside and slammed the door shut. Only to realize his coat was stuck in the doorjamb. It was a frigid evening and pouring outside. The door was locked. He was trapped. With the steady rain falling, Walter had just two choices. He could take off the coat, leave it in the doorway and walk into the frigid rain without a jacket. Or. Or he could simply humble himself, ring the doorbell, have his wife open the door and be released from the prison. What would you do? Let humor, love, care, empathy – whatever connects you – be the bridge to forgiveness now. Walter rang the bell. His wife approached, looked out the window, and understood what happened. She saw her husband in the rain, soaked and stuck. The angry frown still present from their earlier fight dissolved into a gentle smile on her face. As she stepped closer, her smile grew in size, she began laughing, opened the door, lovingly grinned at her husband and invited him back in. And like that, the fight was over. The door was open and he was free to step out of the rain, into their apartment and back into relationship with his bride. It was that easy. But Walter, still upset, did what I think many of us would have done. He refused. He hadn’t proved his point clearly enough. He wasn’t done being mad. He wrote, “In that moment, I could simply have laughed with her. And humor would have provided the bridge to reconciliation. But I refused to do so. I gathered up my coat. And I walked off into the rainy evening. A prisoner of my own refusal to laugh.” My friends, how long should you stay mad? I must admit that in my life, and perhaps you’ve found in yours, that even with the door open and the bridge of reconciliation available, I tug on my jacket, turn around in anger, and walk into the cold rain by myself. But going forward, let’s determine to let go of our ego. Let’s choose to ring the bell, meet their smile with ours, and come back into the house. Let’s set down the poison, reenter relationship, and realize the gift of doing life, together. This is your day. Live Inspired. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Amy Dee
Years ago, I moved from Norway to the United States with my two little girls. While living overseas, my first husband and I started a very successful home-based business. I bought his permission to leave with our daughters by giving him half of our profitable business. It was the best business deal I’ve ever made. With only our suitcases, the three of us flew home to begin a safer and happier life. During those nine years of living in Norway, I ran our home-based business. Suddenly, it was gone. I had no idea what I would do. Leaving my home, friends, and significant financial security, I started over as a single mom of two. It was scary because I had no home, no job, no plan for the future. Fortunately, I had something much more robust: Hope. That hope carried me through renovating a hundred and six-year-old dumpy house and nursing school. Faith sustained me throughout the years of single parenting. It was an exciting and challenging time. Hope made me strong. Over the years, psychologists have studied optimism, grit, self-efficacy, passion, inspiration, etc. All of these are valuable. Unfortunately, there is one critical intervention that is often underrated and even shunned in our society. Hope is Unappreciated Hope is scoffed at because it appears weak, impractical, and even silly. It stirs up thoughts of an eternal optimist, sitting down for a picnic while the forest burns around her. However, studies repeatedly show that hope is critical to resilience. What is Hope? Merriam-Webster defines hope as : to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true Most psychologists who study hope prefer the definition developed by the late Charles R. Snyder, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Kansas and a hope research pioneer. According to Snyder et al. (1991), hope is a positive cognitive state based on a sense of successful goal-directed determination and planning to meet these goals. Snyder’s model of hope has three components: goals, agency, and pathways. To clarify, ‘agency’ is our ability to shape our lives. We believe that we can make things happen. It also includes the motivation to reach the desired outcome. On the other hand, a pathway is a road that gets us there. No matter the size of a goal, we need a plan and a path to achieve a goal. The target could be some as simple as losing a few pounds or as challenging as running a marathon. In other words: Hope is the belief that your future can be better than your past, and you play a role in making it so. Hope Is Not Just An Emotion Hope is not just an emotion. Instead, hope is the mindset that drives resilient behavior. Hope is the pathway to resilience. Hope vs. Optimism Optimism is a positive attitude about a future event that is probable and likely to occur: the optimist expects that life will work out well and as expected (Scheier & Carver, 1993). Conversely, being hopeful is regarded as more realistic. A hopeful individual recognizes that life may not work out as planned, yet maintains positive expectancy directed toward possible outcomes that hold personal significance (Miceli & Castelfranchi, 2010). In fact, hope is the single best predictor of well-being compared to any other measures of trauma recovery. Psychologist Shane Lopez, Ph.D., is a senior scientist at Gallup and author of the 2013 book “Making Hope Happen”. Lopez, together with Matthew Gallagher, Ph.D., a psychologist at Boston University, found hope to be a strong predictor of positive emotions (Journal of Positive Psychology, 2009). Their research revealed that hope and optimism are different. Through his work with Gallop Polls, Lopez studied hope in millions of people. He found that both traits are essential for happiness and well-being, according to Lopez. While he concedes that hopefulness alone won’t make a person happy, he deems both are required to find contentment. “You have to knock down the hope domino to get to the happiness domino,” he says. Hope isn’t just wishful thinking. Hopefulness is different from wishing. “Wishing is ubiquitous, but it can be kind of an escape from reality. Hope is different because it has to do with facing reality,” says Jon G. Allen, Ph.D., a senior staff psychologist at The Menninger Clinic, a psychiatric hospital in Houston. “As I see it, hope is the motivation to stay in the game.” Hope Doesn’t Mean Pollyanna Hopeful people are not just perpetually cheerful types. They are not naive Pollyanna’s wearing rose-colored glasses. In fact, these people are often very realistic. After all, continuously setting unrealistic goals set you up for failure. Repeated failures can wear you down. As a result, your hope will diminish. Why Hope? Hope doesn’t just feel good, it is good for you. Randolph C Arnau University of Southern Mississippi and colleagues reported that hopeful people have a greater sense that life is meaningful (International Journal of Existential Psychology & Psychotherapy, 2010) There is evidence that hope can buffer adversity and stress. In addition, hope can predict critical outcomes. Best of all, hope can be learned and sustained. Human beings differ, and some people lean towards being more hopeful. Those who a more extraverted and agreeable tend to have more hope. Conversely, those of us who are more neurotic generally have less a bit less hope. People with a high degree of hope tend to be better at setting goals, according to psychologist Randolph C. Arnau. “A high-hope person tends to have more goals, and is quicker to focus on another if they fail.” Lopez has found hopeful people tend to share some commonalities. When challenged by a crisis, less hopeful people tend to shut down. Hopeful people are more likely to take action to help them cope. Hope Can Drive Success. After tracking college students for over three years, John Maltby, Ph.D., a psychologist at Leicester University, found students with more hope students had higher academic success. Maltby’s research discovered that hope better at predicting academic achievement than intelligence, personality, or previous academic performance (Journal of Research in Personality, 2010). The good news is, “Hope is an equal opportunity resource.” per Lopez. Three Steps for Building Hope Lopez describes three necessary steps for building hope: The first step is a process he calls “futurecasting.” Futurecasting requires you to envision a specific future goal. The key is to create a vision that is brilliantly alive. Let’s say you want to learn to speak Spanish for an upcoming trip to Spain. To begin with, Lopez suggests finding pictures of the sites you plan to visit. Use these pictures to create a collage and place it in an area where you will see it often. In other words, keep your goal front and center in your mind.” Really crystallize what you want your future to look like,” he says. Remember: The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment. Earl Nightingale Create a Path Secondly, create a path to your goal. You may remember that the idea of pathways is central to Snyder’s model of hope. After all, once you choose a destination, you must figure out a way to get there. If you want to learn Spanish for your upcoming vacation, look into language apps and classes to path the way to your success. Finally, plan for contingencies. Lopez’s research discovered that the most hopeful people create several possible solutions to a potential problem. Conversely, less hopeful people tend to consider only the best-case scenario. At most, they may create just one or two paths to their goal. Instead, Lopez tells us, “You have to come up with many ways to overcome those obstacles.” Hope and Trauma Trauma may require a fourth skill that Lopez calls “regoaling”. Years ago, I worked with a psychiatrist whose young son had been diagnosed with cancer. After years of medical treatment, his treatments stopped working. Heartbroken, they had to shift their goal from helping their son live to make the most of his last months on Earth. She and her husband took a sabbatical from their jobs. They took family trips to Disney World, the Grand Canyon, and New York. In the end, their goal changed. Rather than fighting to keep their little boy alive, their new goal was to keep him comfortable until he died. This little guy had even helped plan his own funeral. There wasn’t a dry eye in the church when the pallbearers entered wearing full out Star Wars costumes. His entire grade school class attended. Despite the heartache, the stories about this little boy left us all with hope. During these times, counseling can help people accept this new goal. In the end, they need to release old dreams and aims to create a new future. We Need Hope It is challenging to give up on a dream. But hope makes it more accessible. We need hope. “Many of the ancient religious texts reference faith, hope, and love. Hope is an ancient virtue and a basic human quality,” Lopez says. Hope is important because life can be tough. We all face obstacles. When dealing with challenges, having goals is not enough. To move towards those goals, we need to overcome all the twists and turns that come our way. When we harness hope, we can approach problems with a success mindset. This, in turn, will increase the chance that you will actually accomplish your goals. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Roger Crawford. This was originally published on Roger's blog.
As a keynote speaker, I have had the pleasure of working with many world-class individuals and organizations. Although they were from diverse backgrounds and businesses, they all had something in common – a winning mindset! The word mindset is defined as a mental attitude that predetermines a personal response and interpretation of situations. Another way of saying that is “Winning is more about how we choose to think versus the circumstances we face!” Here are four characteristics that can help you and your team develop and maintain a winning mindset: 1. Play to Learn All of us have heard the motivational phrase “Playing to Win.” While I believe in approaching our lives and work with this philosophy, what happens when you don’t win? How do we stay encouraged and engaged? It seems to me that as we “Play to Win” we can also “Play to Learn.” “Playing to win” goals are usually defined as success, victory, or mastery. While it is vitally important to measure our ability to achieve, we also need to identify methods to stay motivated when our results fall short. There are occasions when we have planned effectively and performed with excellence, but did not succeed. “Playing to learn” goals are based upon your performance, regardless of the results. You evaluate these particular goals by asking questions such as, have I bettered my best? Since you are comparing your current performance to past performance and measuring improvement, this type of mindset goal is entirely within your control. Even when you don’t achieve an outcome goal, you can maintain motivation by achieving a “playing to learn” goal related to the same area. Look at times in your life where you have failed. Would you take that experience back in exchange for the lessons you learned? Likely, the future success you have had can be partially attributed to the wisdom you gained from your previous setback. You win every time when you play to learn! It is important to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. Goals based solely on outcomes can leave us vulnerable to discouragement, because of circumstances beyond our control, such as:
The point is this: No one wins every time, however, we can learn every time! 2. Risk = Opportunity An integral part of a winning mindset is seeing opportunity and risk as partners. In other words, you can’t have one without the other. I always wondered how some people found the courage to take risks continually. It’s because they understand that being risk-averse also means being opportunity-averse. Once I understood that, it became must easier to try something new and step out of my comfort zone. Here is why: I realized that risk can produce butterflies, but passing up a great opportunity will make you sick! It is all about how you interpret risk and opportunity. 3. Winning happens during practice The will to win begins with preparing to win. My tennis coach Tony Fisher used to say, “Practice like you compete, so you can compete like you practice.” Peak performers are always looking to better their best, and they understand that practice is the difference between mediocre and magnificent! They continually improve because they practice not only when they feel motivated, but also when they don’t feel motivated. 4. Quit! People with a winning mindset make a habit of quitting! Now, I realize this seems a bit counterintuitive from what we believe about success. However, winners quit any attitude or action that is not moving them closer to their goals. They say, “DO” to whatever is contributing to their success and “NO” to whatever is delaying their success. Tim Ferris, author of Tools For Titans, calls this creating your “Not-to-Do” list. We are all busy, so it’s important that we separate what we could do from what we should do. This can only be accomplished when you have absolute clarity of your goals. Once you establish exactly where you want to go, you create a clear divide between what you could do and what you should do. When an individual wins, we tend to look first at their external skills. However, the difference-maker is what you can’t see — their inner character. These inner qualities are something we can all develop, nurture, and benefit from. Think about it: You are the only one who decides how you respond and interpret your situation. Only you determine the quality and content of your thoughts! You have everything you need right now to embrace a winning mindset, so Game On! Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Steve Gilliland
Sometimes, when I see a quote that I have loved, it is much like a visit from an old friend who stops by only briefly and yet warms your heart. As with most beloved quotes, my friend came at a most opportune time. The Wise The biblical scholar Hillel is credited with the following quote: “If I am not for myself, who is for me? And being for my own self, what am ‘I’?” The quotation speaks to one of my favorite topics: Responsibility. True, we are responsible for ourselves and our own actions. Interestingly, type “responsibility” into a search engine and ask a question such as “Why aren’t people responsible anymore?” You are liable to find several articles on the topic of parents being responsible for their children and children being aware of their rights (presumably so they can become uninhibited). It is all so troublesome to me. In fact, the whole topic of responsibility has had me thinking a lot these past months, if not the last couple of years. Hillel’s quote is divided into two equal parts. One cannot stand without the other. When he wrote this quote back in ancient Babylonia, he stood on the mountain top of wisdom. While he could not see 2020, he could see those around him. Much has not changed. Part one is about ourselves; part two is about others. Ourselves Being for ourselves does not mean we are just responsible for ourselves. The responsibility is about how we “walk around” in this world. Of course, we must be our own best friend, take care of our families, and of course, we must do the right thing and be ethical souls, but I think it goes beyond that. If I make a mistake, I had better own up to it. If I hurt someone I need to apologize, whether to my child or to the mail carrier. I have taught my children to “own up” as well. When you make an oversight, own it! My responsibility to life should allow me to understand how precious are my days and weeks; they add up to years, and we don’t have enough of them. I must explore the beauty of this earth, and take in art and music and even the hobbies that are unique to me. In short, I must do all I can to enjoy my life and to enjoy this ride that is life. My responsibility to my life tells me to shut down the computer and the digital devices, turn off Netflix, and enjoy a conversation with my family and friends. My responsibility to myself tells me to be more content with what I have and to be thankful for a multitude of blessings regardless of my circumstances. I’m not talking about material things, but things that make my heart soar: the smiles of my grandchildren, hearing the words “I love you” when they are spoken genuinely; to appreciate my freedoms and my health; to understand that everything I have can be fleeting and that health, wealth, and security are illusory. Being for myself means never forgetting the audiences, both virtual and in-person, who have appreciated my message. Being responsible for myself in all of these ways motivates me to start each day reading my Bible and end with a prayer. For indeed, I have known hardship and sorrow in 2020, and I will never forget how it refocused me and how far I have come. Others Now we come to the “what am I?” portion of the famous quotation. Many times, over the year, I have written about people who are negative, and whether intentional or unplanned, surround us with their negative energy. The majority of negative people are the tortured souls who care only for themselves, and I will never be one of those. Nor should you. For I believe that negative people, who are only for themselves, have lost genuine compassion and understanding. Negative parents raise children who only see pessimism; negative teachers and mentors develop unconstructive students, and melodramatic people see bleak outcomes and socialize in drama. You have to take responsibility for your actions. You only look like a fool when you try to blame other people or circumstances for your behavior. I believe we are put on this earth to help, support, empower, and create peace. Negative and self-regarding people can’t do it, and won’t do it. In terms of our families and friends, we must be responsible enough to open our hearts to the hardships of others. If I, personally, can raise up someone who is fallen, I will try. If I can make a difference using my skills and passion, and energy, I will. I know that I have a responsibility to life itself. I know that I am nothing as a person if I only view the world through the lens of “me” and not “us.” I suppose that at the end of the day, I’d like to be known as a man who was responsible. Responsible to myself surely, but a man who saw his responsibility in terms of what he could do to lift-up those around him. If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! By Colette Carlson
During an action-packed movie scene, it’s not uncommon to watch a getaway vehicle, being chased by seven squad cars, fly 300 feet off a bridge, land smack dab in the middle of a busy freeway going the wrong way and still make it to safety. Or, perhaps during a thriller an individual awakes to the sound of breaking glass, but rather than call 911, they creep downstairs to investigate sans protection while calling out, “Is anyone there?” If you remained glued to the screen, you have mastered the art of suspending judgment. After all, not letting go of your critical mind and picking apart every scene would ruin the viewing experience. Yet, too many people refuse to leverage this same strategy in their personal and professional life. Take a look at the following three scenarios to recognize your own ability to suspend judgment:
Remember, every thought begins with you. Your thoughts lead to feelings either increasing your anxiety or bringing you calm. Thoughts leads to behaviors. Behaviors that showcase your strong leadership skills or display your lack of leadership. Therefore, rather than react with doubt, frustration, annoyance or criticism, why not suspend judgment and choose to assume everyone is doing their best. And let it rest. Sure, we’ve all been told that assumptions can backfire, yet they also help you avoid inaccurate or unhelpful feelings that do nothing but drive an unnecessary wedge between you and another. For example, if a colleague hasn’t returned your emails as quickly as you desire, here’s an opportunity to suspend judgment. Rather than immediately assume they are disorganized, slow to take action, or avoiding you, assume they’re doing their best. Perhaps they’re simply overwhelmed with their new home-schooling responsibility or a family member or friend has taken ill. Suspending judgment within your own family works wonders, too. Not everyone’s definition of clean is equal, nor how people choose to invest their downtime. Although I personally wear news cancelling headphones and choose to gather my information online, my sweetheart prefers to both start and end his day watching news…loudly. Rather than suggest my way is healthier or more efficient, I allow him to honor his own path. Trust me, it’s not easy, but it’s my mind that dictates how I want to view the situation, and I prefer a joyful relationship over one filled with frustration, misery or negativity. While you’re at it, why not suspend judgment when it comes to your own self? After all, you are learning how to navigate in a world you have never experienced before. You are learning how to be productive, focused and effective in an environment riddled with ambiguity. You’re learning how to lead and be present for others in a new high-tech, high-touch, but “don’t touch” environment. Why not choose to be understanding, empathetic and compassionate rather than critical? Why not choose to assume that right now, everyone is doing their best? In the process, you’ll be exercising the invaluable, connected leadership skills of empathy, understanding and compassion. And who can’t use more of that right now? Planning your next event? Get in touch with us at the Capitol City Speakers Bureau today to schedule your ideal speaker and make your event a success! |
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